Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

If there were reasons why he's not safe to have the bairn she would have said. So we have to assume he isn't a cunt and she...what?
Is a troll?
Is afraid he'll take away her rights - backed upped by his family?
Is angered by him as a partner and is using their DC as a tool?
Is still feeling the oppression of him, as friendly as he seems, and wants not to have to engage with him ever again?

I can't believe someone who's said their son loves and cries for his father would be/could be so oblivious to the pain they're planting for the future.

The OPs stance is so bizarre. It feels like what men’s rights activists claim mothers do. I can’t quite believe it’s real.

Family court is broken where domestic abuse is concerned, and doesn’t usually care about or understand real domestic abuse. It’s not credible a solicitor would suggest falsely claiming this. It would only be taken into consideration after a fact finding which is a huge ordeal and which you couldn’t undertake with zero evidence. Many survivors don’t get to do them even when the situation has been horrendous. If your situation is real, please don’t do real victims the disservice of pretending there has been abuse of any kind when there hasn’t.

Basically it all comes down to her wanting to punish him because he “broke my heart”.

I can only imagine the controlling behaviour he had to endure whilst in the relationship. Threatening him with losing access to his son. Not being able to have a say in any decisions.

now that IS abusive behaviour.

Your can't always get what you want. You sound awful. You need to seriously rethink your attitude or you're going to find you're the weekend parent.

I think it’s a reverse.

Trying to prove all woman alienate fathers and get away with it.

Probably a shock that people have taken the fathers side - but also reassuring.

You keep saying you want to be “primary parent” and “primary carer”, which has confused a lot of people here because such labels, legally, do not exist. Except for in one circumstance. Are you fighting to hold on to “primary carer” status in order to keep your benefits intact?

Right in words of one syllable which the OP might understand.

OP. It does not matter what YOU want. The courts, and CAFCASS are there to decide what is BEST for your child. That means in most cases seeing BOTH parents. This is what will happen. Get used to it.

I also don't believe that the OP was told by her solicitor to lie about violence. More likely that the solicitor said something about 50/50 being the starting point unless there is domestic violence etc etc and she has wilfully misunderstood.

Is her entitlement to benefits what this is all about? Is that why being 'primary carer' is so crucial?

That hadn't occurred to me, but it's a possibility.

He's my child

And he’s your ex partners child too

He's his father's child, equally, and he has the legal rights to an equal relationship with his father.

The replies to your thread don't seem to be sinking in.
Your child has rights. Court will not care one iota what you want.
As previous posters have said you will be parenting 50/50, or less, as the other parent can have the child.

Do you understand you do not own your shared child?

He is also your ex's child.

You ‘allow’ him……..?

You’re both the child’s parents. The child is not a possession

When you lose primary care of your child due to parental alienation come back to us and we can try to support you through it. You will lose if you carry on like this so take heed of the warnings before its too late

your child has 2 parents who should be working together.
he does not deserve a mother doing all she can to alienate him from his father

?

He is just as much his dad’s child. Which any decent judge will recognise.

Oh do stop being disingenuous.

I have a feeling OP has proposed a court hearing thinking that that will scare off her ex and that it will give her some power somehow. There'll be a sad realisation when it doesn't go her way and the court realises how difficult she's been.

Anyway, she's not listening to anyone here. She's going to do what she's going to do.

(I wonder if she even knows what a family court is there for, as opposed to magistrates etc)

I just need child in nursery, so I can work, ex being difficult

Absolutely