Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

If you don’t like them, you’ll hate what comes next.

You don’t have to like it just engage with them and listen. The only reason they are involved is because you refused to listen to ex at mediation and negotiate a sensible arrangement for your dc. Clearly you have a very different perspective to the majority of what that might be. A judge will see through your selfish motives and put your ds wellbeing first, then you will have to follow the terms of the CAO, like it or not.

Well tough luck. You need to start co-operating with them & with your ex.

This is one of the strangest threads I’ve ever read and I’ve been on MN for years and years.

Of course meditation failed. You have absolutely no intention of listening to anyone and you don’t want your child’s father to see his child and you seem to think that’s up to you. It isn’t. Fortunately we live somewhere where the child’s rights are uppermost.

You need to take their involvement seriously, and the more barriers you put up, the more likely you are to have an arrangement imposed on you. Coming to an amicable reasonable compromise without the courts involvement would be so much better with or without a professional mediator. Have you even asked your ex what contact he wants?

every other weekend plus visiting once in the week is a common arrangement where 50/50 isn’t possible or desired. The more you restrict him the more likely he’ll push for more days!

Caffcus said that him going part time changes landscape

So why are you not listening to them? He is more available to care for his son. He won’t be little for long so ex has a right to share that time.

Im notsure i beleive this
The repeated different mis spellings of CafCass are not helping .

I'm rather intrigued if OP can keep the thread going till it's full now!

If he's going part time to facilitate caring for his son, then CAFCASS and the court will look very favourably on that. It seems he is doing everything possible to share the burden of care for your child and you're doing nothing, in fact you're putting every obstacle in the way. Whatever you think is the acceptable way for you is not going to happen - you need to understand that now before you end up with someone deciding you aren't fit to care for him at all. Goodness knows what will happen when you have a teenager to take care of with the attitude you're demonstrating here. You're heading for a fall. I think you probably need help or support of some sort and now would be a good time to ask for it.

You don’t like cafcass being involved as they are telling you the same thing every one on this thread is telling you - your son’s dad should and will be part of his life whether you like it or not.

that is what cafcass are saying, that is what would be recommend following mediation (I have no doubt) and that is what the judge will eventually say when you continue to drag this out for as long as possible and cause pain for your child

Caffcuc will make decision, I.thoight he'd.be less.pesistant

Can anyone seriously still be bothered with this thread / poster. She’s obviously on a wind up. It could even be a poor reverse.

Many many people like to bother with futile threads like this apparently

No idea why!

It was obvious a long time ago that there was no point replying!

Definitely a wind up. Keeps spelling Cafcass incorrectly and differently on every post.

Emotional abuse is still domestic abuse and is just as bad as physical.

This has to be a wind up surely? Or best case scenario a reverse?
who elected you primary carer? Who gave you first dibs on looking after your child? I’m not sure it’s even worth giving any advice as everything is being ignored. I’m a mum and my child’s father is a dick but I never stopped him seeing her. Now she’s old enough she’s realised who he is and hardly ever sees him.

But from the way op has conducted themselves at attempts at meditation and on this thread it seems any EA may not be all towards op. Op is closed to alternative points of view. In the relationship she did not want to discuss decisions she had already made, him just wanting to have a say is not EA. She left with dc and deliberately put distance between them knowing she would not be willing or able to facilitate contact.

The going part time thing seems to change everything.

But even without being pt ex could request and be awarded 50:50.

Not if in nursery where I live

Yes if he's willing to drive DS to nursery and pick up! 25 miles is not a huge distance a couple of days a week

You wanting to put your son in nursery to avoid him spending time with his father will have zero bearing on what cafcass suggest or court rules.

But if you have booked the nursery during “his” time as allocated by the CAO he can decide not to use the place. You are trying to use it as leverage but it will not necessarily be taken into account.

No Cao, that why I think he objected