Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

He has the right to be.

He should be.

Why are you fighting this? So many people are telling you that you need to change your thinking and all you seem to say is "I want everything my way".

And so he should be! Did you get pregnant all on your own? Do you understand what parental responsibility means?

And he has that right as your son’s father.

why do you think you have the right to keep your son away from his father and to control the whole situation?

As the child’s father, why shouldn’t he be?

I moved to get away from this and make decisions.

I did post on this thread earlier on but at this point I don't know why people are bothering answering the OP anymore

You moved 25 miles away 😂
You're not real, I don't believe anyone is this dense

I think it's a reverse

Yep, but primary carer

You and your ex had a child. He is as much your ex’s child as he is yours and your son has the right to an equal relationship with his father as he has with his mother.

Unless there is a compelling reason not to, the starting point will be 50/50 shared care. Your ex has taken steps to facilitate this by getting agreement to drop his working hours, he has attempted to come to an agreement with you, he has absorbed the travel time and cost to ensure he can see his child, he has suggested and engaged with mediation and counselling.

You took his son away, set unreasonable limits on your sons access to his father, you refuse counselling and mediation.

Your ex certainly appears to be the more reasonable parent in this relationship based on what you have said.

As you have been told multiple times this is not a concept the law recognises.

This is text book parental alienation. I really hope that this does go to court, and the judge sees right through you. Enjoy your alternate weekend with your child.

This is a fake post it’s just for rage bait I’m going to block it now as they are just wanting people to comment

You keep saying that but it's totally meaningless.

In law you are no more important than the child's father.

You might have had more control up to now, but only because you've taken it by force.

Again, you are only the “primary carer” because you moved your son away from his father and you’re restricting his access

If your ex decided to take your child he could.

He could do exactly what you’ve done.

How would you feel if he did and then refused to engage like you are and heavily restricted access?

This isn’t about you. It’s about your child who has 2 loving parents who want to care for him.

1 equally.

did you forget that you had a child with someone else or did you list use this man as a sperm donor? I’m sure you are not so obstructive when it comes to claiming CMS from him

You are going to get your absolute arse handed to you in court

“you moved away to prevent 50/50 happening”

you’ve constantly frustrated the process by refusing mediation

you could well lose primary custody here

The more you post, the more this reads like parental alienation.

Your ex has the right to be involved in decisions about your son. You cannot shut him out from decisions, particularly when it comes to medical treatment, education and religion. If you continue to shut him out from decisions, he can take you to court and a judge will decide what is in your child's best interests.

You have told us that your son adores his father and his grandparents, but you are trying to shut them out of his life. You describe 50/50 care as "barbaric", but that is what many parents accept.

You moved away in an attempt to limit your son's contact with his father. That is clearly unreasonable. You keep going on about being your son's primary carer, but that doesn't matter. It doesn't give you more rights over your son than his father.

You talk about being more accommodating, but only so that the court decides in your favour. The court will see right through that. It is quite clear from your posts on this thread that you are not acting in your son's best interests.

The more you post, the more this sounds like parental alienation. If the courts think that you are engaging in parental alienation, you may well find that they decide your son should live with his father, with you getting only limited contact.

As everyone on this thread is telling you, it is time to wake up and understand that your ex has the right to be involved in decisions about his son and your son has the right to spend a lot more time with his father, his grandparents and his cousins.

I am starting to wonder based on my experiences with my ex wife if the OP - and assuming of course that the whole thing isnt a wind up, isnt 'quite right' and could do with a diagnostic interview for mental health and social issues such as autism, poor interpersonal skills and being a narcissist

It's going to court, I am concerned about the situation.

Ah well

I'm sure you'll cope

Unfortunately the courts are absolutely not interested in what you want or what works for you. They will decide what is in the child's best interests and unless they are at risk of significant neglect or abuse then it is deemed a relationship with both parents is best.

You can't just move 25 miles away and expect to be in charge and make all the decisions. You've said you haven't returned to work as your ex has stopped your son going to nursery and that he still sometimes breastfeeds at night so I'm guessing he's very young- a judge is unlikely to grant 50:50 at this point or more overnights but 8 hours once a week is not a lot so they could massively push for more day time contact working towards 50:50 in future. Surely it would be good for your son to be with his dad during the day whilst you work- best of both worlds in that you aren't missing any of your time with your son, your ex gets more time and you won't have any fees to consider.

You will also have no say as to relatives your son sees when in care of his dad, you cannot control this.

I do think you need to get better legal advice and massively change your approach to this as it won't look good in court or mediation if you come across like this.

This thread has made me realise people will post even when it's obviously futile

I’m not sure about them trolling us but if not they’re very poorly educated and they really need some external help to realise what they’re doing will backfire. Being the mother does not automatically give you more rights and nor should it