DS Alleged Incident - Police/Social Services - So Stressed. Advice Needed

[Stressedoutmybox]

Ten days ago the police called to say that my son (age 16) couldn't go to his water polo club due to an "alleged incident" and that they would be coming round to speak to me (DS was not in when when they came round - note he is AuDHD ). They wouldn't tell me anything about the allegation only that it happened some time ago, so I am not sure why they had to come round tbh to not be able to give me any information?. I was very upset/crying at the time as felt completely blindsided. One of the officers did say remember that not everything this is reported is true - however the next phone call below makes me feel like they are already saying he is guilty?

A few days later social services called to say that a meeting had been held at the school with the themselves, the police, a school rep and community health to discuss it. She wouldn't tell me either what the allegation was but that the police would want to talk to us/him. I asked if I would need a solicitor, she called back and said that the police unit involved said no, we wouldn't ..... this was last week and I haven't heard anything more. I am so stressed, not sleeping or eating. I asked her if there was any info she could give me at all - all she said was that they'd be looking to do some workshops with him?? So, now i'm totally petrified.

Does anyone have any advice? Can I ask that they come round and just talk to us, without my son or we can find out more about the allegation - or can they insist on him being there? He will not cope at all and I am worried about him. He has no idea any of this is going on, or that he might have done something. Should I say that if they want to talk to us we will meet them there with a solicitor? It's not a great time of year to try and get hold of someone and tbh I wouldn't know where to start.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

It sounds like a strategy discussion was held about an incident involving your son which is essentially a professionals meeting. This happens when there is a significant safeguarding concern. However, based on them not coming round within 24 hours after the meeting it may be deemed as not meeting threshold for child protection procedures. If you contact the local MASH team which are the team of social workers who review all the referrals into social services they may be able to let you know where it sits in their processes. They are normally open most days apart from bank holidays so try to call them today.

They may not be able to share information in relation to any police investigation but you have a right to know if your family are open to social services or there is a contact in place for them.

In regards to the police investigation call 101. They will have details on any open crimes. The hold can be long to them and they can be unresponsive at times due to how broken all the systems are in this country especially at this time of year but at least you’ve tried. If you ask for the officer in charge’s badge number then that may help you if you have to make any future enquiries.

These days -- probably he said something that might be interpreted as having any kind of misogynist, anti-migrant, anti-trans sentiment. Probably by someone claiming not to be offended, but speaking up behalf of others who might have been. Not much you can do until you hear the 'charges'. At which point, complain you've only just heard them, and need to take advice on how to respond.

The police should explain fully and ask if a solicitor is requested, this should be done at the time of arranging the date of the interview.
On arrival at the police station, the solicitor should be present and would be spoken to prior to the interview and without police present, so advice can be provided.
A voluntary interview is just that-voluntary.
However, as part of the interview introduction it should be explained that the interviewee does not have to stay for interview but if they leave, they could then be arrested.
If there is any immediacy required, which appears not to be the case, then an arrest would already have been considered.
The arrest or voluntary attendance should be seen as a means to interview but arrest provides more powers to the police ie the power to search an address etc does not apply to voluntary attendance.

Maybe. Or maybe he sexually assaulted another child. Do you think that doesn't happen? I'm interested in how so many of the responses are outraged and defensive on the part of OP and the boy - feelings would be very different if it was the parent of a child who said they had experienced harmful sexual behaviour from a peer instead. I'm not saying the boy did or didn't do something but there is an allegation and sometimes children do harm other children. OP needs to be prepared, not defensive.

I don't imagine the police would be dropping hints if they were planning on an investigation and bringing charges. It gives opportunity for evidence tampering.
If this is an allegation about past behaviour it could be from before he was 16. I'd see it as a positive that workshops have been suggested, that sounds like they recognise your child's vulnerability and want to support him rather than them planning any drastic action.

So once you attend you are not under arrest and if you attend without a solicitor then decide you want a solicitor, the interview should not take place.
This applies even once the interview is started, it would not go ahead without a solicitor if one was requested.

Got to post and run but you absolutely should contact a solicitor now before speaking with anyone further and I would have a solicitor present for any meeting with your son and the police.

Don’t listen to them saying you don’t need a lawyer…. Get a solicitor - as is your right. Do not speak to them without one.

The police aren't 'dropping hints' - what makes you think that? When a potential criminal offence has taken place information will be shared on a need to know basis to safeguard children. That's why social services have shared what they can. The fact that they are taking a while to interview the son means they are still evidence gathering. Possibly waiting for the alleged victim to have an ABE interview.

This 100%

My uncle who was a QC drilled into me (although I've never needed the advice) to never speak to the police without a solicitor in attendance, even if it is made out to be informal / a chat / voluntary.

There are some lawyers who adopt the line of never talk to the police period!

I'd have a solicitor present OP, it shows you mean business and will hopefully prevent something being said that shouldn't be.

My advice would be that your DS should not speak to the police without a solicitor and a parent present, and to be prepared to do a 'no comment' interview. If the police do have evidence of any crime then they can share that with DS, you and solicitor (note, actually share it not just claim to have CCTV without actually showing it). Once the situation is clarified the solicitor can advise on appropriate response. TBH the sequence of events described above is puzzling especially the meeting at the school.

The solicitor comment has been totally misinterpreted. OP/her DS don't need a solicitor now because at this point they don't know if there will be any police action. At the point that he is asked to come for an interview of course he should have a solicitor. But there's nothing for a solicitor to do at this point. OP can contact a few if she wants (though he will get a free solicitor at the police station) but she can't engage one because there isn't anything to engage them for.

So it's an unknown alleged incident, that happened some time ago, and on which the authorities have made no attempt to collect evidence from your son? So that's several principles of natural justice ignored.

Be prepared to attend any interview with a solicitor, to 'no comment' his way throughout, and never agree to accept a 'caution' or any other sanction.

It is puzzling to me to have held a strategy meeting in person and at a school. Possibly the SW meant it was a meeting with the school? Strats are almost always held virtually these days and if in person would be at the MASH office as that's where police and social workers are situated in the same place. However otherwise the sequence of events is completely normal.

The majority of responses are not particularly 'outraged or defensive' so much as reinforcing the idea that it's best to ignore any police advice that you 'don't need a solicitor'. If the boy is interviewed he most definitely does need a solicitor and the OP could do worse than to start putting the feelers out now to find one with lots of experience working with juveniles, rather than relying on the duty solicitor. Hopefully she won't need them.

I had this question a while ago due to my ex husband making allegations. This is what I was advised by a police officer (my friend’s husband):

• organise a solicitor
• let them contact police to find out the reason for contact
• any “interview”/“chat” with the police should be attended in the presence of a solicitor >> there is no “friendly chat”
• inquire with school as you are worried about the effects of this on your son’s mental health due to his conditions

Could you gently speak to your son and find out what might have happened? Wishing you well and hope you can get it sorted.

What are you talking about? Just because the alleged incident happened some time ago doesn't mean it won't be investigated! And as I've said several times, police have to investigate before they decide whether to proceed with interviewing or arresting the suspect. If the alleged victim has an ABE interview and changes their account or is completely unreliable then the investigation will be dropped with no further action. How is that not 'natural justice'?!

No practical advice to offer but really wanted to give you a virtual hug. Your anxiety must be sky high. It's awful to be left wondering and catastrophising like this. What a horrible thing to happen...and during Christmas too. You have my sympathy. Xx

A strategy meeting can be held if there is suspected safeguarding concerns without the parent's knowledge. Also it is typical for a person not to be told of allegations until the Police are ready to question a suspect.

Based on what the OP has said, there is limited understanding of what has been reported. However, if there is an alleged victim, their welfare is also to be considered so they need to balance them with the needs / potential risk from OP's son.

Obviously it is not yet known what has been reported. But the fact they haven't asked for the child to be supervised around siblings, arrested or had devices taken suggests it's either at the lower end of concern or they don't have a lot of info yet and maybe needing to take a statement from the alleged victim.

Surely as your son is a minor and you are his guardian, you should be told of the allegations and your son is entitled to defend himself. As soon as Xmas is over I think you should speak to a solicitor and ask them to contact the police and SS to clarify what exactly he is being accused of?

Personally I would be going to the police station and asking to speak with the investigating officer (you might have to wait for a few days to come back on shift). At the moment it sounds like a Kafka novel. If your son is accused of something you/him have a right to know. I suspect it’s something ridiculous that’s not actually a crime but someone precious has made a ludicrous claim about something he’s said! With his au adhd does he have the habit of telling the truth-that’s enough to get you in trouble these days as and prob the reason behind the suggestion of workshops so some lefty school teacher/social worker can instruct him on “Right think”. I’m sure if it was an actual crime you would know by now! And SS wouldn’t have already come up with a way forward- workshops - it sounds like they have already decided he has done something without even speaking to him.! Might be worth gently asking about who else is in the water polo club, see if there’s any likely candidates to make such an allegation of “wrong think”.

Get a lawyer now don’t wait for one

ask them to talk to all relevant bodies

yes this now will be after Christmas and new year but get looking

if son has to be interviewed his lawyer has to be present at all times and he or she will tell him to say “no comment” throughout cos the police can and will twist things in thier favour more so if SEN sadly cos they have no ideas on how complex they can be.

also are you not classed as his carer and advocate cos if so you’re entitled to know what the accusations are too.

He will be told when the police are ready to tell him. Nobody is entitled to circumvent police timescales when they are carrying out an investigation.

Haven’t rtft but I wouldn’t go to sexual issues like another poster. In my mind I went to is it something reported under prevent, has he ever made any comments around race or anything? If it was a sexual conduct allegation I would imagine them responding faster.

When my ds was 14 a girlfriend made an allegation of sexual assault about something that he believed was consensual (they didn’t have sex, just ‘messing around’).
I spoke to a solicitor who specialised in working with young people and he told me exactly what might happen and what we should do. Including things like not speaking to the girl or her family about it and not to apologise (which is what my son wanted to do). He also said that the police sometimes turn up at school to speak to them and I had to tell my son that he was not to speak to the police unless I was there - no matter what they told him. It was a very scary time. I spoke to the solicitor on the phone and it was free.
Nothing ever came of it. Although it could always come up again in the future.
I believe my son when he says he thought it was consensual, but we have had some very frank conversations about consent, and enthusiastic consent. I also spoke to the leader of a youth group he attends and he met up with him a couple of times to talk about it, and the whole group did some sex and relationship sessions.
Whatever has happened your job is to advocate for your son and make sure that he is treated appropriately and fairly.