I've been so stupid, im scared to death

[Scaredashell13]

Please don't judge, I've made a horrendously stupid mistake and im so scared what's going to happen to me and my two children.
A couple of years ago I had a breakdown and started gambling again (I started gambling after my 2nd dc was born but stopped after a year with help). A long story short, in the space of 9 months I stole approx 36k from my employer who happens to be a local authority. They found out and I was subsequently sacked. I admitted everything and provided all evidence they requested such as bank statements etc. I have now registered with Gamban and Gamcare, my Drs have increased my medication which helped me get out of the dark place I was in. I considered suicide almost daily but my two children are the only reason i'm here. I have since worked on myself and have a new job and doing well....until today. I came home to a court summons in the post with a court date just after Christmas. This will be the first hearing and i'm praying to God I'm not sent into custody. I am absolutely petrified and have been sick with the thought of not being with my children (age 12 and 15). I'm so scared. I dont have any family, I was raised in the care system. I dont have any friends I can confide in, and im a single parent. What do I tell my children, how do I tell my children? I could face a prison sentence up to 10 years. I have reached out to a solicitor today and hoping they'll contact me tomorrow. I feel like im already slipping back into that dark place. Im so stupid and I wish I could turn back time. I just want to hug my children and never let go.

Have you made any attempts to start paying the money back, OP? £36k is a huge sum and one that may take you decades to pay back. Just because it was a local authority doesn't mean it's a victimless crime.

Of course they did - how do you think she’s ended up having to go to court?

I really hope you don't get a custodial sentence considering your willingness to pay the cash back and mitigating circumstances. I really can't see any benefit to you or society in putting you away.

It boils my piss that we're constantly hearing about dangerous pedos in possession of the worst category SA material, or DV abusers getting suspended sentences because of lack of space. So I'd hope someone guilty of a non violent crime and actually capable of rehabilitation shouldn't be in jail.

Have you paid any of it back?

Well done for getting out of that dark place.

Unfortunately I've not paid anything back yet, it took me some time to get back on my feet after losing my job and decline in M/H. I've been in my new job a year now and have just about managed to get back on track with debts/bills etc. I think stealing from a local authority is probably worse as it may seem like a victimless crime, in actual fact it would affect so many more as its technically public funds. They are claiming its over 50k but its actually 36k which my bank accounts have proven. What a utter mess. Im so ashamed

That is surprising as theft from a LA employer of this magnitude is usually referred to the police following their investigation, then onto the CPS.

Don’t unravel all your hard work now OP. Try and stay strong for your children. Other posters are saying something about a suspended sentence so that’s hopeful and it really sounds like you’ve changed. You’ve got evidence that you have sought help. Try and stay positive. Go back to your doctor if needed and speak to someone if you’re feeling low. I Really wish you all the best.

Haven't you been saving since you said you would repay? A lump would go towards helping your case.

Good luck OP, you'll probably need to tell your employers if you haven't already.

If you do go to prison, know that the bit between now, and being settled into prison life is the worst bit.
Prison is boring, and a miserable place on the whole, but not nearly as bad as the uncertainty and the waiting beforehand.
I went at 18, for a couple of years. I was terrified, but looking back now I'm in my 50s, it did turn my life around, it broke some habits, reset my version of normal and I even had a laugh quite a lot of the time. It's not nice, but it's not what you see on TV either.

I'm so sorry.

Please do reach out to Samaritans when you feel in a dark place.

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Can you find a local charity or local church which runs a gambling support group. They may be able to helpsupport you in other ways.

Are you able to access counselling for your addiction?

I really hope you will get help and whatever happens that you will be able to support your kids through this. Please do not do anything to harm yourself, it will make things worse for the kids. I cannot imagine how hard it is but please stay strong for them.

XXXX

Yes the other case on here she did get a suspended sentence, her case was delayed over and over and I recall admitting it from day 1 helped.
What is the court date for? What were you actually charged with?

The probability of a jail sentence is not big it’s very small . I’m sure your solicitor will tell you the same.

@FigTreeInEurope ·

Thank you for your very sage and wise advice and sharing your experience.

A prison sentence for this type of crime is likely to be suspended in these circumstances. However, there are some things you need to think about.
Does your current employer know about this? If not, is that because you omitted declaring it when you got the job?
Did your DC know about it at the time? They would have been aware of your change in financial circumstances. I would think very carefully about how and when you’re going to tell them about this. Perhaps it might be a good idea to speak to someone at their school to give them a heads up. We once had a child whose father was already in prison and mum was charged with hiding a weapon that had been used in a serious crime. Her solicitor was very clear that she would face a custodial sentence of a couple of years. Her DC (younger than yours) were supported by a social worker and they went into a planned foster placement when the time came. Because their mum was very open and honest with them they coped very well with the situation.

How scary - hopefully they will take your health and personal circumstances into account.

Take a look at https://www.gambleaware.org/what-we-do/
and see if they can offer any advice or help.

I would be v v surprised if they give you a custodial sentence, just make sure thye know how v sorry you are, that you would never do it again, it was partly due to poor mental health and the fact you have young children will be good for your chances too

You can get through and pass this
Good luck

Well done for getting where you are today.

I do not work in the courts system but IME you will be highly unlikely to receive a custodial sentence and will likely get a suspended sentence and expected to pay the charges back.

This is your first offence, you’re a single mother and you’ve admitted your mistake and taken steps to better yourself - the judge will take all of this into account.

But you didn’t pay anything back. So you’ve not been compliant so no wonder they are seeking a prosecution. It’s been over a year and you’ve not paid a penny back, despite having a new job.

Well done for turning your life around firstly . I don’t think you’ll get a custodial sentence the prisons are full as it is . I hope things go well for you and I’m sorry this is hanging over you , best of luck 🤞

@Scaredashell13 There are a number of factors which should keep you out of prison. Non-violent crime, female, crime was due to psychological state at the time, dependents at home, etc. etc.

The justice system generally doesn't send people to prison unless there's a good reason for it. I think most people should see that there would not be any benefit in sending you to prison.

This is just a hurdle to get through, take it a day at the time. You’ve done the hard part and you’ll get through this. This isn’t who you are it’s a moment in time that’ll pass and become history before long but at the moment you’re in the thick of it still. You will get through it. Life is rarely all roses. You’ll come out stronger and won’t always feel this way. It’s just how you feel now.

You’re going to be ok.

A friend of mine had a sister who was stealing repeatedly and committed fraud. It wasn’t her first offence and she was already warned if she did anything else she would get a custodial sentence. She then proceeded to steal my friend’s identity and tried to defraud the bank and she had to go to prison for a bit.

Prison was fine. She got a break from her kids. I see her all the time partying online and living her best life and it pisses me off because she also stole from me.

Right now you’re catastrophizing what might happen. There is a process for these things and you’ll likely need a pre-sentence report. Get some legal advice.