I've been so stupid, im scared to death

[Scaredashell13]

Please don't judge, I've made a horrendously stupid mistake and im so scared what's going to happen to me and my two children.
A couple of years ago I had a breakdown and started gambling again (I started gambling after my 2nd dc was born but stopped after a year with help). A long story short, in the space of 9 months I stole approx 36k from my employer who happens to be a local authority. They found out and I was subsequently sacked. I admitted everything and provided all evidence they requested such as bank statements etc. I have now registered with Gamban and Gamcare, my Drs have increased my medication which helped me get out of the dark place I was in. I considered suicide almost daily but my two children are the only reason i'm here. I have since worked on myself and have a new job and doing well....until today. I came home to a court summons in the post with a court date just after Christmas. This will be the first hearing and i'm praying to God I'm not sent into custody. I am absolutely petrified and have been sick with the thought of not being with my children (age 12 and 15). I'm so scared. I dont have any family, I was raised in the care system. I dont have any friends I can confide in, and im a single parent. What do I tell my children, how do I tell my children? I could face a prison sentence up to 10 years. I have reached out to a solicitor today and hoping they'll contact me tomorrow. I feel like im already slipping back into that dark place. Im so stupid and I wish I could turn back time. I just want to hug my children and never let go.

I'm so sorry, this sounds very frightening. Well done for facing up to it and getting help.
I think you again need to try and take control, good idea to see a solicitor, they will be able to advise you.
I think you need to try and think about what would happen, if the advice is that you might get a custodial sentence. I guess if you really don't have anyone who would take your children, maybe you need to contact social care and discuss it with them. At least then you/they can be prepared?
Wishing you courage and strength to get through this. You made a mistake but you are doing your best now and your children need you.

I recall there was a thread on here from someone in a very Similair situation. I can’t remember if there’s was gambling related but they stole from their employer and were very worried about the potential ramifications. In the end I think they got a suspended sentence due to their cooperation and willingness. I’ll try find the thread

This sounds very stressful. It really sounds like you’ve owned what you’ve done and have taken steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. They should all go in your favour I would’ve thought; the only person who can tell you this is a solicitor.
If you have absolutely nobody to look after your children I think you’re going to have to contact social services and think about foster care. I’d like to think it wouldn’t come to that for you as you’ve clearly worked on yourself, admitted what you’ve done and are remorseful for it. What I thought you would have been looking at a suspended sentence if this is your first offence?
If this is the first hearing, I’d be surprised if they put you in prison at this stage as I’m sure that is reserved for those who are a danger to the public or are likely to abscond before the next hearing?
I know it’s easy to say, but don’t panic until you’ve spoken to a solicitor.

I think you will get a suspended sentence, long as youve been co operative & willing to repay (which you have).

Thankyou for your kind words. I admitted to everything straight away, have said I will pay every penny back, and been complaint throughout it all. I know I made the foolish mistake and will have to face the consequences, I'm just scared now that its all becoming real and with very little time to prepare.

I'm sorry to hear this, OP, I understand how stressful this must be.

What you did was obviously very wrong, but gambling is an addiction and it sounds like you were possibly very vulnerable at the time it happened.

I don't know what's likely to happen and you need to get proper legal advice, but the fact that you recognise your mistake and you're proactively engaging with help might help your case.

FWIW, I don't think there would be any public benefit in sending someone like you to prison. I'm not excusing what you did, but it sounds to me like you need help and not punishment.

I hope things work out ok for you.

Breathe just breathe. Go get in the shower it will help calm you down.
Honestly I know your thinking worse case situation, but the prisons are full they will not be sending someone of this sort of crime to prison unless they’ve not played along which you have. prison spaces are being saved the very worse type of criminal.

Well done for turning your life around. Addiction is difficult to conquer and you’ve done it. You’ve been facing your consequences, you just need to continue to do so. I agree that a custodial sentence will help no one. One foot in front of the other. Good luck.

Okay, breathe. You are not the first person in this position and you won't be the last. You're evidently intending to plead guilty and you have quite a lot of mitigation. You can look at the sentencing guidelines here if you want to look / can bring yourself to. I'm assuming fraud not theft if the maximum is 10 years.

The sentencing guidelines on fraud at a worst case scenario would have you at "high culpability A" because it was over a sustained period of time (better case scenario would be "medium B" but let's go with worst case scenario for now).

Harm caused would be category 3, between £20k - £100k, and the starting point is based on £50k. You might not have stopped if you hadn't been caught, so let's call the intended harm £50k and take that starting point. Lesser impact to the victim who is not an individual.

Starting point for an A3 offence is 3 years, with a category range of 18 months to 4 years.

None of the statutory aggravating factors seem to apply from what you've said (would need to know more).

Lots of the mitigating factors do - remorse, no previous, sole carer for children, co-operated with investigation, early admissions, difficult background as you were in the care system, prospects of being in work high.

Then a third off for an early guilty plea.

I think you would have a strong chance of it being 2 years or less, at which point the court is obliged to consider whether to suspend the sentence. If it is suspended you don't go to prison unless you commit a further offence during the period it is suspended, in which case the suspended sentence is activated AND you are sentenced for the new offence.

My best guess would be that you are looking at 18 months - 2 years suspended with a hefty unpaid work / rehabilitation requirement. Please stay connected to your GP and if you possibly can, make repayments. Good luck.

Regret is inevitable but it’s such a waste of your time- you can’t change what’s happened, but you can face the consequences and that in itself will set a good example to your children- that we take responsibility for ourselves and our behaviour and when we fuck up, we admit it and try to put it right. Granted, this is a particularly big fuck-up but it doesn’t have to define you and the rest of your life.

I know nothing about the law and how likely a custodial sentence is but I wish you luck. Be brave, you can and must do this. 🙏 💐

Have you managed to pay anything back yet op? Are you in a position to pay back any more? I’m sure your solicitor will advise you.

I do know someone who went to court for theft of a large amount of money from their workplace and they received a suspended sentence.

You did it whilst in the middle of a breakdown, and I believe that the courts do look differently at cases where severe mental health issues are the direct cause of the actions of the accused.

Yes I was just thinking of that one! I beleive she got a suspended sentence. She sounded very similar to you in that she had admitted her crime and was working really hard to make amends. The courts took kindly to this

Op please bear in mind that the threshold for custodial sentences is high due to lack of space. And that the fact it sounds like your children would be accommodated if you go to prison make it unlikely. The mags will write a pre sentencing report and may ask social services to contribute. They usually do.
you will get probation I imagine and they will support with employment and courses and all sorts. Op I think it could be worse x

This must be terrifying for you.

Well done for turning your life around and for taking responsibility for your past mistakes. You’re being honest and compliant - you can’t do more than that.

It’s so important for you to get support from a solicitor. Please also go to your GP. If they prescribed you the meds then they can also give a statement to say how you struggled and were under their care to get you well again.

Is there a gamblers support charity that can help you with advice on how to proceed with this. Or citizens advice?

You’re doing so well, but you need to show them you’re a different person too. You need to reiterate how your children depend on you and only have you. Hopefully that will be enough for them to give you a suspended sentence xx

So £36k stolen from a Local Authority, technically public money. Did they not call the Police?

I’m sorry OP - I know what you did was stupid but you’re trying to righten a wrong and I fully applaud that. I know someone who did the same but stole £20m and spent all of it (gambling). He got 7 years - fraud and transferring criminal property. I doubt, if you have a clean record, admit the crime and are a single mother to two children that it will be in the public interest to jail you (this was a man and the crime took place over three years). I think you have to accept that you’ll get a criminal record and plan accordingly. I really hope you’re not jailed.

In my first interview with the anti corruption and fraud team at the workplace, I said I'd like to start repaying and asked how I could do this, they said theyd need to confirm the full amount. I haven't heard from them since June 2024 until today.

I really hope they don't go with custodial. They will take into account the fact your kids don't have anyone else.

If you agreed to pay it back over however many years and maybe do community service surely that's an adequate punishment.

I think the prisons are so full they don't want to block them up with non violent crimes like this.

A woman in my local area stole a similar amount from a school she was a business manager of, didn’t serve any time at all. Suspended sentence and had to pay it back (monthly). You can prove you’ve sought help through gambling charities and with your doctors and are the sole carer for 2 children, I’d assume you’ll be given a suspended sentence.

The fact that you have co-operated with investigation, you are pleading guilty and you are so genuinely contrite and you’ve sought help will all stand in your favour. If the Judge considers a custodial sentence they will ask a Probation Officer for a pre sentence report - pour your heart out. But I don’t think it will come to that, I think you’ll get suspended. Please don’t be scared, you made a mistake, that’s all, you will rise from this stronger.

Yes, it is classed as public money. The Police haven't been involved, it was through the anti corruption and fraud team that are in the workplace. I was interviewed under caution by them, I think they have the same powers as the police.

Surely you have to be interviewed by the police/charged before you can be given a court date?

You must be terrified, I really feel for you.

I think that you’ll feel better if you have a really clear plan which you can get your head round, and which you can explain to the kids. It’ll be hard to do, but I think you’ll feel better once it is done.

Try and write down:

If I get a custodial sentence this is what will happen:

If I get a suspended sentence this is what will happen:

Think about where the kids will live, who will look after them, how can they access money, who will manage your finances etc etc. Try and make one folder with all useful info in it. Ask your solicitor to explain whether you’ll have time after sentencing or whether you would go straight to prison.

If you don’t have anyone to have the kids if needed, try and think who would be able to have them for two weeks so that there would be some sort of transition, and reduce the urgency so things would be less stressful for them.

Im no expert but I would say you wouldnt be remanded in custody. You have dependent children and you're not a violent offender. Addiction in any form is an illness. You need legal advice so speak to a solicitor, they will advise you on the best way forward. Meanwhile take care of yourself and take any help and support that is available