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Original poster

My partner was arrested for attacking me..

377 replies

Exasperated24 · 05/07/2025 17:07

I need urgent advice.

my partner attacked me earlier today and has subsequently been arrested. Can I ring the police station and tell them I don’t want it taking any further. Will they then release him?

I feel awful for him.

OP posts:
MrsEndeavourMorse · 05/07/2025 17:08

You can indeed, but is that wise? He's violent..

Poonu · 05/07/2025 17:09

I don't think it works like that.
Your reaction is normal.

Morebroccoli · 05/07/2025 17:09

MrsEndeavourMorse · 05/07/2025 17:08

You can indeed, but is that wise? He's violent..

And they may decide to proceed anyway if evidence is sufficient

Parker231 · 05/07/2025 17:09

Why on earth would you do that - the police will take any appropriate action. Hopefully charge him and a court date would then be set.
If he has attacked you, may sure it’s a condition of bail thst he can’t come near you.

itsgettingweird · 05/07/2025 17:09

Why would you do that?

I hope even if you plan to you are still splitting up?

Morebroccoli · 05/07/2025 17:09

Any children?

Roseblooms · 05/07/2025 17:09

Why would you do that? Did he feel awful for you when he was attacking you?

Bannedontherun · 05/07/2025 17:11

You feel awful for him because he has groomed you in to thinking he is vulnerable and hurt and you are the one that can fix him.

Doubtless he has repeatedly told you that you are failing to help him with his needs for your support.

failedatlifee · 05/07/2025 17:11

Yes you can, I did this although they still tried to prosecute him without me but luckily they weren’t successful.

PashaMinaMio · 05/07/2025 17:11

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Original poster
Exasperated24 · 05/07/2025 17:11

He’s been there for me through the most traumatic two years of my life and I just hate the thought of him sitting there in the cell.

i won’t get back with him but I feel like I owe him for ‘saving me’ these last two years.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 05/07/2025 17:13

You don’t attack people who you’ve apparently saved.

Are you sure you haven’t been groomed to see him as your saviour and in truth he’s controlling and that’s made you feel safe in a way.

ImNunTheWiser · 05/07/2025 17:14

Poonu · 05/07/2025 17:09

I don't think it works like that.
Your reaction is normal.

I agree, your reaction is normal.
And also, it doesn’t necessarily work like that. Now he has been arrested they will make their own decision on how they will proceed. They will listen to your opinion, and how it will affect things going forward with regard to charges, but they don’t have to adhere to your wishes.

Notaripoff · 05/07/2025 17:14

You don't owe him anything, lovely. You really don't. He's not allowed to physically assault you just because he's been nice to you. He doesn't ever earn that right. Please don't help him.

Original poster
Exasperated24 · 05/07/2025 17:14

I’m pregnant. And oh God I read posts like this on mumsnet all the time and think ‘get out woman. Are you crazy?!’

I appreciate all responses even though I haven’t responded directly.

yes my self esteem is that low but I don’t know what I’ll do without him.

I have kids (not his) and he’s so good with them. I know I can’t have him back but he’s done so much for me.

OP posts:
Morebroccoli · 05/07/2025 17:15

Exasperated24 · 05/07/2025 17:11

He’s been there for me through the most traumatic two years of my life and I just hate the thought of him sitting there in the cell.

i won’t get back with him but I feel like I owe him for ‘saving me’ these last two years.

Op you have a child

fgs parent up

and don’t do a bloody thing aside from support the investigation

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 05/07/2025 17:15

I won’t repeat what has been said, other than to say that the reaction you are having is normal and the police will be used to it. Can you speak to Women’s Aid or even take a look at the Freedom Programme? Because a relationship where a man attacks his partner rarely gets to that stage all of a sudden, without any psychological games having been played. You may need some help to sort through what has been going on.

Original poster
Exasperated24 · 05/07/2025 17:16

Thanks everyone.

His mum has just tried calling me. The kids weren’t here in case anyone asks. Not saying that excuses anything just saying as I know people ask.

OP posts:
Original poster
Exasperated24 · 05/07/2025 17:17

I just can’t stand the thought of him in a cell. I can’t stand the thought I’ll never see him again.

OP posts:
anyzen · 05/07/2025 17:18

How did the police know to arrest him?

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 05/07/2025 17:18

He hasn’t ’saved’ you. He spotted a good victim and he’s been grooming you. Please get help to get your eyes opened before your kids learn this behaviour is normal. And pregnancy is when an abuser will escalate. He isn’t different, he’s just another banal abusive man. Sorry.

saveforthat · 05/07/2025 17:19

Instead of thinking of him being lonely, try thinking about how scared you were when he attacked you.

Growuppeople · 05/07/2025 17:19

They’ll listen to what you have to say, but it won’t be up to you at the end of the day if they feel they can take it further they will. Been through it myself so thinking of you x

simsbustinoutmimi · 05/07/2025 17:20

You can, but it’s not guaranteed they will let him go.

and he’s not going to be very happy when he gets out, is he? He might attack you again.

simsbustinoutmimi · 05/07/2025 17:20

You can, but it’s not guaranteed they will let him go.

and he’s not going to be very happy when he gets out, is he? He might attack you again.