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Original poster

House left abandoned

90 replies

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:25

My 15 year old step daughter was with me today. My son was at a summer activity camp at his school. As I was leaving the house to collect him l, my step daughter told me her mum was due to pick her up in about 15 minutes. That was about how long I would be picking my son up so I asked her to wait for me to return home before leaving so our house wasn’t left empty and unlocked before I arrived home. Her mum came to pick her up a couple of minutes before I returned and refused to wait for to get back, screamed at my step daughter to get in the car and drove off leaving my house unlocked and empty. Is there anything I can do to fight her actions?

OP posts:
Andwhatfreshhellisthis · 31/07/2024 20:39

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:38

She doesn’t want one as she scared she would lose it. I’m not going to force her to have one

My kids had keys from aged 7 as it is important in case I was at work late and they got a lift home with a friend and that friend could then let them in and feed them etc

purpleme12 · 31/07/2024 20:40

Oh dear, I don't think this thread is going anywhere useful from OP's replies
OP it's pretty unanimous what the best thing in this particular situation is but up to you whether you want to do that or keep throwing reasons why that can't happen up

SeeSeeRider · 31/07/2024 20:41

Andwhatfreshhellisthis · 31/07/2024 20:39

My kids had keys from aged 7 as it is important in case I was at work late and they got a lift home with a friend and that friend could then let them in and feed them etc

Show quote history

Is there a backstory here, I wonder? is the step daughter scared of the nasty barky dog down the road? The scary shiny moon in the sky? Sounds like she has the OP dancing to her tune.

SaintHonoria · 31/07/2024 20:41

How do you know the mother didn't have to be somewhere at a certain time and had to quickly pick her daughter up?

Your step daughter told you she would wait but it's not her position to tell you that as it was her mother picking her up and she had to fall in with her plans.

Either you should have contacted the mother and asked her nicely if she would wait for you to get back or you should have left the step daughter a spare key which she could have locked up and posted back through the letterbox.

Also what are the chances of someone trying the door in a space of a few minutes whilst you were gone?

I haven't locked a front door in over fifteen years. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:45

I did check first, she said she would wait and then didn’t

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 31/07/2024 20:46

I think the point we're all trying to make is...
Let this one go and learn from it for next time

Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:46

She didn’t have anywhere to be, I did check, was told she would wait and then she didn’t

OP posts:
TappyGilmore · 31/07/2024 20:46

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:37

I would have but she said she would wait for me, it was her mum who caused the problem not my step daughter she was totally put in the middle.

The mum didn’t “cause the problem”. It’s not her job to make sure that your home is locked. And tbh if I was her, and I arranged to pick my daughter up at a certain time, I would expect the girl to be ready to go when arranged … I wouldn’t expect to wait for you to get back. She may have had something else that she needed to do or somewhere else that she needed to be.

leeverarch · 31/07/2024 20:50

Wow - so many people determined to blame the OP here, rather than the child's mother who sounds extremely unpleasant to say the least.

OP, I'd leave your DP to deal with this one.

titchy · 31/07/2024 20:52

Confused So rather than having a spare key by the front door so she could have locked the door you want to fight her mother for not dancing to your tune? Right.

gamerchick · 31/07/2024 20:53

You can't fight it. Let it go and learn for next time. Shell just have to wait outside for her mother. Poor bugger getting shouted at.

RantyMcRanterton · 31/07/2024 20:54

Next time SD waits outside the locked house for her pick-up. She has declined a key, fair enough, so the consequence is to wait outside. No biggie.

fdsgfd · 31/07/2024 20:55

Your step daughter is not to blame for her mother refusing to wait.

However she does need to be asked to take on age related responsibilities.... this includes having a key so she can lock up.

If she is scared of losing the key put your mobile phone number on the key ring.

Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:55

Yeah I will let it go. Thanks was only really checking if it was ok for her to legally leave a house unlocked, thank you for all your answers.for info, I’ve known 15 yr old since she was 4 and we are very close. I’m not going to force her to have a key if she doesn’t want one but this situation has never arisen before and hopefully won’t again. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:56

Thank you. Lots of people posting who don’t know the full backstory but I’ve got my answers 😊

OP posts:
RandomMess · 31/07/2024 20:58

It could be a good idea to get a key safe if your DSD doesn't feel confident carrying her own key. They come in so useful!

Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:59

No, I don’t want to fight her mother. I’m just asking if it’s ok to leave a house abandoned and unlocked when the owner is on their way home. Not looking for a fight, just what is ok/not ok in this unusual situation

OP posts:
TheShiningCarpet · 31/07/2024 21:00

You wanted to know if it was legal for your step daughter (who refuses a key - what a baby) to leave the house unlocked and unattended?

dont make a rod for your back

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 31/07/2024 21:01

So you rang the mother and asked her to wait? Why didn't you just change pick up time?

titchy · 31/07/2024 21:01

Not looking for a fight

Literally the last sentence of your OP....

Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:01

She didn’t arrange a certain time, we’re never really sure when she will get away from work, which is fine. It’s just this time, it happened to be at the same time I was picking my son up. She said she would wait for me and then didn’t. Just wondered if that was ok or not

OP posts:
Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:02

She doesn’t know what time she will leave work and I had to pick my son up

OP posts:
Original poster
KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:02

Calling a 15 year old girl a baby - bravo you bully

OP posts:
AllstarFacilier · 31/07/2024 21:05

There’s nothing that can be done from a legal point of view, as nothing happened. And if you had been broken into, it would probably still come back on you with the insurance as it was your step daughter who left the house unsecured.

Azandme · 31/07/2024 21:05

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:55

Yeah I will let it go. Thanks was only really checking if it was ok for her to legally leave a house unlocked, thank you for all your answers.for info, I’ve known 15 yr old since she was 4 and we are very close. I’m not going to force her to have a key if she doesn’t want one but this situation has never arisen before and hopefully won’t again. Thanks everyone

Yes it's "OK legally" to leave a house unlocked.

The only person responsible for your house are you and your DH/P as the adults.

SD isn't responsible as she's a minor. Her mum isn't responsible as it isn't her property.

It would have been nice if she had waited, but the reality is the responsibility was yours. You could have made SD wait outside. You could have given her a spare key to post back. You could have offered to drop SD home on your way back from picking up DS. You chose not to do any of these.

You can't put the responsibility for your property onto others. It's yours.

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