Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

House left abandoned

90 replies

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:25

My 15 year old step daughter was with me today. My son was at a summer activity camp at his school. As I was leaving the house to collect him l, my step daughter told me her mum was due to pick her up in about 15 minutes. That was about how long I would be picking my son up so I asked her to wait for me to return home before leaving so our house wasn’t left empty and unlocked before I arrived home. Her mum came to pick her up a couple of minutes before I returned and refused to wait for to get back, screamed at my step daughter to get in the car and drove off leaving my house unlocked and empty. Is there anything I can do to fight her actions?

OP posts:
BrieHugger · 01/08/2024 00:51

Leave a spare key for this type of situation and tell her to post it back through the letterbox on her way out.

Noescapefromtheidiots · 01/08/2024 02:10

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 01/08/2024 00:46

Interesting. The houses I've lived in with thumb locks on the inside you just turn the lock or press in for the other kind before pulling the door closed from the outside and it's locked. Personally I had to dig my key out or get it back from the kids who'd gone down to the car every morning on the school run I'd get my front door lock at least changed.

Show quote history

I think you're talking about the latch button on the inside of a Yale lock, which can also be used to prevent the door being opened with the key from outside? That's not what I mean. The doors I'm talking about are hollow plastic (I think) you definitely can't just get a Yale lock fitted, you'd need a new door (and frame?).

Okayornot · 01/08/2024 07:59

Your options are:

  • lock the house and let SD wait outside next time.
  • give her a key to lock the house and put through the letter box
  • give her a key for herself if she wants one

All of the above are fine and would solve your problem.

Notamum12345577 · 01/08/2024 08:05

TappyGilmore · 31/07/2024 20:46

The mum didn’t “cause the problem”. It’s not her job to make sure that your home is locked. And tbh if I was her, and I arranged to pick my daughter up at a certain time, I would expect the girl to be ready to go when arranged … I wouldn’t expect to wait for you to get back. She may have had something else that she needed to do or somewhere else that she needed to be.

Show quote history

So you would give 15 minute notice and expect people to change their plans to accommodate that short notice?

foothandmouth · 01/08/2024 08:11

House was left unlocked for a few minutes at most. It's not a big deal. Also perhaps her mother was in a hurry. Don't create battles where they aren't needed

Gillypie23 · 01/08/2024 08:24

Why not just give her a key.

mouseyowl · 01/08/2024 20:04

Honestly, how you can create this much drama over a door left unlocked for 2 minutes. Unless there's a drip feed and you live in a bank?

MaidOfAle · 01/08/2024 21:50

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 31/07/2024 22:13

Did you have a key? Do you need a key to lock the external doors? I've never lived in a house where you need a key to lock up. Can't do the dead lock without a key but the other locks on the doors I'd just turn and pull the door closed and all locked up.

Modern Euro locks found in UPVC doors cannot be locked from the outside without a key. Some cannot be locked or unlocked from the inside without a key either, whilst others have a knob to twist on the inside.

This stops the occupier from locking themselves out by leaving the key inside the house and pulling the door shut behind them.

MaidOfAle · 01/08/2024 22:05

To all the people complaining about "drama" and "it was only a few minutes", it only takes "a few minutes" for someone to walk in and take the TV/violin/jewelry/etc and your home insurance is invalid because the door wasn't locked. Don't believe me? Check the T&Cs.

If you grew up somewhere like Birkenhead, Toxteth, Arthur's Hill, Scotswood, Sunderland, or Selly Oak, you never leave your door unlocked. It's just unthinkable to do so. Hell, where I come from, you're taught to lock the door when you're inside the house, night and day.

Tell me you've always lived in a naice area without telling me you've always lived in a naice area.

radio4everyday · 01/08/2024 22:07

Doesn't your front door lock when it's pulled shut?

Gagaandgag · 02/08/2024 22:38

Unless there's a drip feed and you live in a bank?

@mouseyowl 😂😂

@radio4everyday
Not all front doors lock as you pull them shut, ours does but I know plenty of people whose door doesn’t

mouseyowl · 02/08/2024 22:58

@MaidOfAle you make a fair point and although houses I've lived in have been burgled (I think 3 times in my family home, once in my student house) they were in nice areas and it didn't feel unsafe to occasionally mistakenly leave the house unlocked for a few minutes.
The burglaries were always when we were on holiday or out for the day.

However, do you not think the op is extreme in her distress (barely in mind the house was not burgled in the few minutes the door was unlocked) by posting in 'Legal' rather than 'Chat' or 'Relationships' or 'AIBU?'
Does the op hope to sue her SD?

MaidOfAle · 03/08/2024 05:10

mouseyowl · 02/08/2024 22:58

@MaidOfAle you make a fair point and although houses I've lived in have been burgled (I think 3 times in my family home, once in my student house) they were in nice areas and it didn't feel unsafe to occasionally mistakenly leave the house unlocked for a few minutes.
The burglaries were always when we were on holiday or out for the day.

However, do you not think the op is extreme in her distress (barely in mind the house was not burgled in the few minutes the door was unlocked) by posting in 'Legal' rather than 'Chat' or 'Relationships' or 'AIBU?'
Does the op hope to sue her SD?

I think OP was wondering what her legal options were for compelling SD or SD's DM not to do it again, because next time she might not be so lucky.

Baital · 03/08/2024 06:32

MaidOfAle · 03/08/2024 05:10

I think OP was wondering what her legal options were for compelling SD or SD's DM not to do it again, because next time she might not be so lucky.

Show quote history

Rather than compelling someone else to behave differently in future, why not take some simple steps that are within her control, e.g. spare key that DSD can post back through the letter box?

MaidOfAle · 03/08/2024 10:16

Baital · 03/08/2024 06:32

Rather than compelling someone else to behave differently in future, why not take some simple steps that are within her control, e.g. spare key that DSD can post back through the letter box?

Show quote history

Yes, but I don't think OP was thinking in those terms at the time of posting.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page