Page 3 | House left abandoned

KHarrison1910 · 2024-07-31T19:25:43+00:00

My 15 year old step daughter was with me today. My son was at a summer activity camp at his school. As I was leaving the house to collect him l, my step daughter told me her mum was due to pick her up in about 15 minutes. That was about how long I would be picking my son up so I asked her to wait for me to return home before leaving so our house wasn’t left empty and unlocked before I arrived home. Her mum came to pick her up a couple of minutes before I returned and refused to wait for to get back, screamed at my step daughter to get in the car and drove off leaving my house unlocked and empty. Is there anything I can do to fight her actions?

TheShiningCarpet · 31/07/2024 21:05

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:02

Calling a 15 year old girl a baby - bravo you bully

well honestly - unless there’s a massive drip feed, it is a bit babyish not to want a key to your own house at 15

Maybe direct your energy and attention on helping her build her confidence

good luck sounds like a challenging dynamic

Franjipanl8r · 31/07/2024 21:05

Can she legally leave the house unlocked?! Christ I’ve accidentally left my own house unlocked so many times I’d be serving a life sentence now if it were illegal to leave a house unlocked!

Silvers11 · 31/07/2024 21:06

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:59

No, I don’t want to fight her mother. I’m just asking if it’s ok to leave a house abandoned and unlocked when the owner is on their way home. Not looking for a fight, just what is ok/not ok in this unusual situation

@KHarrison1910 If she doesn't want to have a key, that's fair enough, but if this situation happens again, I would just give her a key for a few minutes, to lock up the house and then she can just put it straight back through the letterbox as she leaves.

It's not your DSD's fault that her Mother wouldn't let her wait - her Mum really may have not had time to wait, so that would be unfair to blame your SD for not doing as she agreed., although I'm not clear if it is her you are annoyed with, or her Mother

In general - no, of course it is not a good idea to leave a house empty and unlocked, but it isn't illegal!! But sometimes these things happen and nothing happened, fortunately, on this occasion

Gagaandgag · 31/07/2024 21:07

Legal as in if your house was burgled your insurance would be null and void?

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 31/07/2024 21:14

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:55

Yeah I will let it go. Thanks was only really checking if it was ok for her to legally leave a house unlocked, thank you for all your answers.for info, I’ve known 15 yr old since she was 4 and we are very close. I’m not going to force her to have a key if she doesn’t want one but this situation has never arisen before and hopefully won’t again. Thanks everyone

Well it's not a crime to leave someone else's house unlocked - how could it be??

Original poster

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:15

That’s what I was asking. I wasn’t sure so thought I’d ask. Definitely regretting it now 😂

OP posts:

Delphiniumandlupins · 31/07/2024 21:16

Stepdaughter was obviously caught between a rock and a hard place. It's one of those unexpected situations that you didn't have a backup plan for but you can now make one. Best would be DSD having a key or at least knowing where to find a spare so she can lock up (and post through letterbox). Is the mother usually erratic/demanding?

Original poster

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:22

There is accidentally leaving your own house unlocked and there there is intentionally leaving someone else’s house unlocked. I just wasn’t sure if that was an ok thing to do that’s all. It’s not something I would ever do

OP posts:

Original poster

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:28

Im not the parent though and im very careful not to overstep the mark so its a tricky situation

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DullFanFiction · 31/07/2024 21:29

Your step daughter didn’t have a choice.
You said it yourself. Her mum screamed at her to get in the car. Do you really expect her to say NO to her mum?

So yes you dsd said she’d wait. Yes she thought she’d be able to do that.

The problem for BOTH OF YOU is that you didn’t take into account her mum who didnt want to be made to wait.

Next time, you should BOTH assume that the person picking up won’t wait (a pretty common assumption tbh) and get organised around that assumption.
Tbh neither of you had any idea if the mum didn’t have something after herself. Or didn’t have a migraine and wanted to go back home asap or anything else for that matter.
Making plans for other people is never a good idea.

Original poster

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:31

I did check if she could wait and she said she would and then didn’t.

OP posts:

DullFanFiction · 31/07/2024 21:32

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:59

No, I don’t want to fight her mother. I’m just asking if it’s ok to leave a house abandoned and unlocked when the owner is on their way home. Not looking for a fight, just what is ok/not ok in this unusual situation

Honestly, if I was the mum, I’d have thought you were pretty careless to leave my dd on her own with no means to lock the house when you knew I’d be picking her up.
Id also assume you’d have thought about it and thought it was ok to do (otherwise you’d have given her a key right?).

Original poster

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:33

I asked if she would be ok to wait and she said yes. Then she didn’t and drove off while I was walking home with my son.

OP posts:

DullFanFiction · 31/07/2024 21:33

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:31

I did check if she could wait and she said she would and then didn’t.

Yes
But it’s not your dsd who is making the decision to stay or leave ! It’s her mum.
Her mum never said she’d be waiting right?

Original poster

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 21:34

Yes the mum said she would wait and then didn’t.

OP posts:

Delphiniumandlupins · 31/07/2024 21:48

Sorry. It seemed from your posts that you were blaming the teenager for leaving, not the mum. Maybe she feels safe leaving her own house unlocked so wasn't worried about yours. Maybe she's just nasty.

MaidOfAle · 31/07/2024 21:49

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:35

She said she would wait for me, so I left the house unlocked. Then her mum wouldn’t let her wait

You have a husband problem. He needs to take this up with his DD and his DD's mother. Either he lays down the law with DD and tells her to have her own key, or he negotiates with his ex to wait.

This is not your kid, not your ex, not your problem.

ETA: sorry, I just realised that this trending thread is in Legal, not Relationships. Hope that the above helps anyway.

Noescapefromtheidiots · 31/07/2024 21:51

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:35

She said she would wait for me, so I left the house unlocked. Then her mum wouldn’t let her wait

She's 15. It wasn't her decision to make. It was her mum's decision and her mum decided no, which is fair enough since you could have been delayed for any amount of time for all anyone knew. Your partner's ex owes you nothing, not even 2mins of her time.

RedHelenB · 31/07/2024 21:56

TheFlis · 31/07/2024 20:29

Why doesn’t a 15 year old have a key?

This. Obvious solution.

RedHelenB · 31/07/2024 21:59

KHarrison1910 · 31/07/2024 20:55

Yeah I will let it go. Thanks was only really checking if it was ok for her to legally leave a house unlocked, thank you for all your answers.for info, I’ve known 15 yr old since she was 4 and we are very close. I’m not going to force her to have a key if she doesn’t want one but this situation has never arisen before and hopefully won’t again. Thanks everyone

Leave a key by the door. If it happens locks the door and posts it through the letter box. Then she doesn't have to keep the key. Her mum isn't to blame for this.

SirChenjins · 31/07/2024 22:00

Get your DH to sort this out with his ex and get a key safe.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 31/07/2024 22:13

Did you have a key? Do you need a key to lock the external doors? I've never lived in a house where you need a key to lock up. Can't do the dead lock without a key but the other locks on the doors I'd just turn and pull the door closed and all locked up.

Noescapefromtheidiots · 01/08/2024 00:33

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 31/07/2024 22:13

Did you have a key? Do you need a key to lock the external doors? I've never lived in a house where you need a key to lock up. Can't do the dead lock without a key but the other locks on the doors I'd just turn and pull the door closed and all locked up.

Plenty of doors have only one lock in the handle instead of a Chubb and Yale. There's a thumb lock on the inside. On these doors, if it's not locked with either the key from outside or the thumb lock from inside, it's open to anyone who presses the handle down from either side.

DelphiniumBlue · 01/08/2024 00:37

I don't quite understand - if you close the front door, is it not locked? As in, you need a key to open it again? If it doesn't lock on closing, then get a Yale or similar lock put on.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 01/08/2024 00:46

Noescapefromtheidiots · 01/08/2024 00:33

Plenty of doors have only one lock in the handle instead of a Chubb and Yale. There's a thumb lock on the inside. On these doors, if it's not locked with either the key from outside or the thumb lock from inside, it's open to anyone who presses the handle down from either side.

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Interesting. The houses I've lived in with thumb locks on the inside you just turn the lock or press in for the other kind before pulling the door closed from the outside and it's locked. Personally I had to dig my key out or get it back from the kids who'd gone down to the car every morning on the school run I'd get my front door lock at least changed.