Exes solicitor sent letter to not contact him again

[Iamunhinged]

Long story short he ghosted me after being together some years. He also blocked me on social media and phone etc.

I sent him a registered letter just asking him what went wrong, he sent a letter back and then a week later I get this. I have no way of contacting him anyway and reading his letter I have no wish to but what do you do when you receive something like this? Do I respond to the solicitor? Do I ignore it? Its basically said not to contact him and not to contact his friends. I was actually friends with one of his friends and we only ever chatted about meeting up so I find that odd but I wont contact her again just in case.

Seems a very extreme thing to do and I dont know what the cost of the letter was (he is northern ireland and I am down south so it would be different) and I have no idea of any of this legal stuff.

There is no backstory, there is no huge thing I am omitting it really is as says above. Any advice?

Yes, but if you are blocked by all means of contact, then yes, you have to move. The fact that it was a registered letter than a normal letter really raised the bar. If you sent a normal letter it would not quite as bad. A normal letter could be seen as misjudged. Registered is escalating.

I am sorry that there are kids involved, but you need to move on.

@Mariannas funnily enough a big fight we had had MONTHS before and he could never get over it etc Thing is he did not say this at all not before the holiday, not during, not after. He said nothing. Thats his issue I think though is being avoidant. Honestly the last day we saw each other we were lying in bed drinking coffee as normal, chatting away and then I had to come home and he was collecting his kids. I drove him to his car as we had been out the night before. He kissed me and hugged me as normal and by the time I got home and looked at my phone again I had been blocked eveywhere.

@Spottedshell bit extreme though? I was thinking mid life crisis or breakdown hence the letter to see if he was still alive etc.

And he raised it again by not only sending a normal letter but a solicitors letter AFTER the normal letter

Almost feels like he is trying to provoke a reaction

@purplecorkheart I did honestly not realise registering a letter would be deemed as such. Obviously I dont send many letters but thats something I will take on board.

Same! I know when he’s limping out of another failed relationship and back at his mothers because I get text messages and voicemails. Years later. It’s hilarious.

You dont have any personal property at each others houses do you?

I wonder if he mentioned it to a friend who also thought sending it was registered was strange and said so hence the letter from the solicitor after. Perhaps he has a friend who works there and was able to send it free of charge for him.

Maybe he watched Baby Reindeer and decided to take proactive action immediately after seeing what happened when Donny tried to appease Martha and then friend said by answering your registered letter it may lead you to doing something else too.

For whatever reason he felt he needed to. There is no reason to respond but just steer clear. Or you could respond and say you have received this and having had his response to your letter you considered the matter resolved anyway.

Just make sure you give those damned envelopes the side eye when you hurry past a post office!

@Theunamedcat but how could I react when I have no access to him and specifically being told not to contact him? I mean i would have to drive to his place and then I actually would look crazy!

@EatCrow now that is interesting. I never would have seen him as the cheating type but I guess i never thought of him like this either.

@Theunamedcat nothing of importance no.

No, I never assumed another woman Iamnotunhinged, I was just replying to another poster about my ex.

@Spirallingdownwards I cant imagine he has even watched baby reindeer. Not his thing but again maybe I knew an alternate him. Ironically all of his friends are also down south and he only has one up north who I have never trusted but I will never know.

@EatCrow there are envelopes for registering? I never knew this. I just popped letter in envelope and went to teh post office. 9.50euro to send it too.

@purplecorkheart "Once blocked on social media most people would have left it."

That's definitely not true. Not a single person I know and talk to about relationships would do that. That's completely cold, unfeeling and inhuman.

Nobody's response to a multi year relationship where they simply get blocked one day is to "just leave it."

That's ridiculous.

You're almost implying she's some kind of psycho for seeking a basic response.

Sorry OP I think your repsonse was pretty level headed and rational and his is very odd.

Would the solicitor expect contact from you?

I seem to be in the minority, as I don't think sending a registered letter to your partner of several years - in response to being unexpectedly dumped and then ghosted - is that extreme a reaction. Certainly not one that justifies a solicitor's letter, unless there's a huge back story.

OP, I'd be wondering if someone else is on the scene and there's been a cross-over between relationships with the 'other woman' not knowing you exist. He ghosted and blocked you - job done - so the registered letter may well have spooked him. Now he's making absolutely sure you don't inconveniently pop out of the woodwork again by scaring you off with the threat of legal action.

@ironorchids thank you I did wonder if I was the crazy one reading some responses!

@DoreenonTill8 Not a clue. I have no idea of law and never came across anything like this before.

Totally ignoring everything though, again I am the opposite end of Ireland so not sure about Northern Ireland post but apparently it was 8.15stg for the postage from the solicitor and it says international tracked and signed but I was not home when it was delivered. Should this have been signed for? It does say on the sticker that it should have been signed for but my doorbell shows the postie just putting it in the letterbox. Not that it means anything I was just curious.

I’m not sure if there are pre-registered envelopes, just having a josh ☺️

I think it’s interesting that you are surprised at some of his actions now, almost as if you’re seeing a very different side to him. Which there very likely is, one he cleverly kept hidden. You obviously caused him some deep injury during that row you mentioned and he has never forgotten it has he, kept it locked away then, boom - he hurts you very much, most unexpectedly. I had this kind of thing too. It made me feel like I was going a bit crazy at the time. It all makes perfect sense when I look back.

It's an escalation game don't play it just move on and ignore

@littleburn hes just so level headed though normally that this just seems so odd and because we are over an hours drive from each other its not like I can just bump into him although i guess i can rule out nothing. I just cant believe he spent money on this. He does not part with money easily.

🤣🤣🤣

I agree, it’s important to understand so you can move on.

Block his friends too

Was he mean with you?

we had just come back from a holiday with his and my kids and a few disagreements but thought maybe it was the hol. Came home, went out as normal for dinner, I came home the next day and found he had blocked me everywhere so I was wondering what happened.

This is totally bizarre and no, you're not unusual or weird for wanting to know what happened!

His responses of sending a registered letter is weird and OTT.

I'd have all kinds of questions- especially as your dc are friends.

You are not being U here.

@EatCrow no no not at all I dont mean it that way I just mean as in he is not one to spend money without good reason. Food and drinks and nights out and all that fine. Would not scrimp on things like the house or kids but if he could save a few quid somehow he would if that makes any sense? Im horrendous with money and I buy things frivolously but he is a bit more frugal than I. Now I think of it I cannot think of one bloody example but he would tell you himself he watches the unnecessary spends which is why I find this so strange because he clearly found it necessary to see a solicitor but I dont know why.