DM is homeless and penniless

[Pottlee]

I don’t know where to post this really, so apologies if it’s the wrong place.

My mum has been carer for her mum for maybe 5 years. Grandmother has now sadly passed away. Inheritance wise she has left a small amount behind, which is split between her two 60 ish year old ‘children’ (my mum and my uncle) - around £5-10k each. Mum and her brother have a fractured relationship but showed themselves to get on for the sake of their mum. Not sure it’s going to be as hunkydory now their mother has passed.

Now to the main point - my mum has nothing, like nothing to her name. She has no home (lived with her mum as carer), no money (other than the small inheritance) and no income at all. She has never worked so had made no contributions. She also had never claimed any benefits. The home she lived in with her mother will be sold and that money will go to an equity release company and to pay off a load of other debts.
What on earth happens to her now?
My uncle says she’s my responsibility now, but I would hate for that to be the case in that I don’t have room for her to live at my house, and harsh as it sounds I don’t want to become responsible for her for the rest of her life - hats off to everyone who can do it, but the idea of me having to care for her the way that she cared for her mum is just a no I’m afraid. We are close in a way but don’t get on in another. I couldn’t live with her. It would make my life unbearable and no doubt spell the end of my marriage because my DH couldn’t tolerate her daily either. My 2 DC love her but daily it would be disastrous. She is very lazy, judgemental, negative and nasty. And as I said would be able to make very little/no financial contribution.

So 1. Is she really regarded my responsibility now? 2. What should she do with regards of somewhere to live (she has no money for that) and income for the rest of her life? Is she not entitled to anything as she’s made no contributions or claimed anything at any point?

I’m aware I may come across as heartless because I don’t want to take her on so to speak, but I do want to help her set herself up somehow if she can. I’m just not in a position to be able to offer a place to live or financially.

please if anyone can advise who she can speak to or what she can do. Thank you.

"The government" are not able to make you house her.

You can choose to house her if you want to. You do not have to. She is not your responsibility.

She should present as homeless to your local council.

Re benefits: if she was caring for children at any point she may well have built up "credits" towards a state pension as the government count a certain number of years caring for kids towards the years you need to be entitled to a state pension.

Other than that, she will not be entitled to contributory benefits but may be entitled to others.

Does she have any physical or mental disabilities?

If she does claim benefits she will be expected to be looking for work.

No she is not your responsibility, and you do not have to do anything you don't want to do. No doubt 'the government' (or council) would be thrilled if you did take her in, as then they would not have to do anything - but you are not at all obliged to do so.

If she's homeless the council will offer her housing. It's up to her to sort it out. You can help her liaise with the various agencies if you want to, but personally I'd step back and let her do it. Don't make it your problem.

This is true. Multi millions goes unclaimed due to lack of awareness of the help available, but all most who think about those needing to claim benefits want to focus on are the “frauds”.

Correct, she never claimed carers allowance

She has been incredibly foolish and she is not your responsibility.

@Octavia64 if she was caring for children at any point she may well have built up "credits" towards a state pension as the government count a certain number of years caring for kids towards the years you need to be entitled to a state pension

only if you claimed child benefit during those years.

Even if she does not have enough NI credits for a state pension, she would still be eligible for pension credit. However that is not the immediate problem - she has seven years to go likely until reaching state pension age so she needs to work out how to find a job.

Sorry being brief with replies now and need to head out shortly so won’t be able to reply or answers questions for a bit but any advice still being posted is very welcomed. Thank you.

The whole value of the house will be going for equity release and debt?

Your grandmother managed to maintain debt and release equity? Where did that money go?

You may find you mum has had a lot of money already.

She isn't your responsibility. She needs to speak to citizens advice and get the ball rolling ASAP

Did she claim child benefit for you when you were born? She might have 16 years credit if so for her state pension

Don't house her, that would be the worst thing you could do. She, as everyone has said, needs to present as homeless (once the house is sold) to the council and she will be housed. You stepping in would interfere with that.

You don't have to announce you are back in the country, presumably she has evidence of British birth certificate/passport and has likely had a NI number if she ever had child benefit.

You don't need to sort this out, she does.

If she does claim benefits she will be expected to be looking for work.

Exactly this - she might want to think that she doesn't have a state pension but, even if she did, she's too young to take it - she's of working age.

As for no qualifications or experience, well she's been caring for your grandmother for five years. That's pretty good experience at being a carer so would she consider it for a future job?

She is NOT your responsibility.

OP she needs to apply to her local housing department as a homeless applicant. They won't house her until the day her mum's house is sold probably but they will have a duty to her. Does she have proof of address at that house?
She also needs to make a claim for universal credit urgently. She will be classed as a jobseeker and expected to show evidence of looking for work.

She is definitely not your responsibility and where did she live prior to the caring roles. CAB definitely for advice and they will then help her to register with the council, perhaps look at over 55s social housing (of which there are often places), alms house type schemes and check out her benefit entitlement. She is homeless, an adult, she could sofa surf but she would still be homeless and when she registers for universal credit, they will be looking at the work she can do, as she is still 7 years from state retirement age. Also, if her mum had a need for a carer, why was she not claiming UC and Carer's allowance?

Good point, I will question that

Still wouldn't be enough for full state pension even assuming she can gain another seven years from working from now. Did she work abroad - if so did she have any private pensions from that time ?

is She registered with a GP /dentist? (Even if private, not NHS, she has an address registered). She’s a UK citizen, she’ll be able to claim some benefits and housing, once she’s homeless. Do not move her in with you as then she’s not homeless.

get her to apply for benefits now. But if she refuses, step back and do not take over.

Not your responsibility at all..

She goes to council, states homeless, she will go into temporary accommodation till she gets a council place..could be a while. But thats the process everyone goes through..

Go Citizens advice to see about benefits..

She will be expected to work, no qualifications isnt an issue as the Job centre and government funds training and qualifications up to level 3.

Totally this

She can make a claim for UC today online to get some money coming in. Will take about ten minutes to set up. then when she gets accommodation she can just add rent element. Don't delay waiting for CAB appointments, there is only one benefit she can claim right now. which is UC. If she is now liable for your mum's council tax until the house is sold then she should also apply for single person occupancy discount and council tax support.

So she's currently in your grandmother's house.

She needs to stay there until it is sold. This will give her time and an address to manage things for a while. I imagine it will take a little while to sell anyway as it will need to be cleared out.

Your uncle seems very keen to get her out of the house and for someone else to deal with her/be responsible for her.

Who is executor of the will and have you seen it? I'm guessing your uncle - I think your mother needs to see the will and the finances, not rely on what her brother tells her.

In terms of inheritance/debts - there is no inheritance until all her mother's debts are paid.

There should be a fair idea of what the house is worth and the sum total of debts against the current total assets.

It is quite possible there will be nothing left, or even a debt.

Your mother needs to take advice and get onto the social housing list.

You need to do nothing that you do not want to do.

Unless your uncle is offering help or housing to your mother he has no say in what happens to her.

My uncle says she’s my responsibility now
Well he’s wrong. Stop listening to all the nonsense he’s spouting. In fact stop listening to him about anything.
Your mother is responsible for herself, like all of us are.

Don't try to take her in; she won't get help from the council.

She needs to go to the council, contact cab, and figure out where to go from here.

This ^
Do not house her.
If you do, she will be considered “adequately housed” and the authorities will sign her off.
Keep this situation at arms length.

In any case, your kids wont always want to share a bedroom if you did take her in. For their sake and your sanity, don’t do it.

She needs to whip up a CV, pronto. Tell her TimesNewRoman 12 is best.