DM is homeless and penniless

[Pottlee]

I don’t know where to post this really, so apologies if it’s the wrong place.

My mum has been carer for her mum for maybe 5 years. Grandmother has now sadly passed away. Inheritance wise she has left a small amount behind, which is split between her two 60 ish year old ‘children’ (my mum and my uncle) - around £5-10k each. Mum and her brother have a fractured relationship but showed themselves to get on for the sake of their mum. Not sure it’s going to be as hunkydory now their mother has passed.

Now to the main point - my mum has nothing, like nothing to her name. She has no home (lived with her mum as carer), no money (other than the small inheritance) and no income at all. She has never worked so had made no contributions. She also had never claimed any benefits. The home she lived in with her mother will be sold and that money will go to an equity release company and to pay off a load of other debts.
What on earth happens to her now?
My uncle says she’s my responsibility now, but I would hate for that to be the case in that I don’t have room for her to live at my house, and harsh as it sounds I don’t want to become responsible for her for the rest of her life - hats off to everyone who can do it, but the idea of me having to care for her the way that she cared for her mum is just a no I’m afraid. We are close in a way but don’t get on in another. I couldn’t live with her. It would make my life unbearable and no doubt spell the end of my marriage because my DH couldn’t tolerate her daily either. My 2 DC love her but daily it would be disastrous. She is very lazy, judgemental, negative and nasty. And as I said would be able to make very little/no financial contribution.

So 1. Is she really regarded my responsibility now? 2. What should she do with regards of somewhere to live (she has no money for that) and income for the rest of her life? Is she not entitled to anything as she’s made no contributions or claimed anything at any point?

I’m aware I may come across as heartless because I don’t want to take her on so to speak, but I do want to help her set herself up somehow if she can. I’m just not in a position to be able to offer a place to live or financially.

please if anyone can advise who she can speak to or what she can do. Thank you.

Why would she be your responsibility? She's a grown adult.

She can claim universal credit and look for a job. Housing benefit will help to pay for very modest accommodation too.

Advise her to speak to citizens advice if she needs help apply for the benefits I mentioned

She needs to get on the housing list at the local council as well. She may well qualify for age-restricted housing - a lot of those start at age 55. She also needs to apply for benefits, although depending on the amount of her inheritance she may not get the full rate for a while.

She could apply to the council for social housing. She may be eligible for later living accommodation. What happened to the money from the equity release? Will there be any left over? She can also claim benefits or perhaps work.

For the over 55's there's more chance of getting a council place, I would think. I agree with everyone, she needs to go to the CAB or contact Age UK and get advice on what she can claim right now.

What did she think would happen when her mother died? Did she not plan for this? She must have had some idea of what she was going to do? She's only 60, why is she your responsibility?

Yes I think citizens advice is a good idea, thank you. I don’t know, but my uncle claims as I’m her next of kin and could house her if I absolutely had to (DC could share a bedroom to make space for her) that “the government” as he says would expect me to take her in to stop her being homeless because as far as they are concerned she doesn’t exist as she’s not on the electoral role or anything.

She's absolutely not your responsibility.

She needs to present to the council as homeless and be placed on the waiting list to be housed. This may be a hostel or b&b.

She's responsible for herself.

Absolutely head in the sand as far as I can tell and just didn’t want to think about what would happen next. Either that or she thought I would take her in or the inheritance would be more.

Your uncle is talking nonsense.
She needs to go to the council and register as homeless, given her age she's kindly to get a flat in an over 55s place. I live in the south and the general housing list is anything up to ten years but over 55s are fairly readily available. Otherwise she could look at the rent deposit scheme where the council front deposit and first month's rent if she's eligible for housing benefit.
If she had any medical needs, mental or physical, she will need to take evidence of these.

She is more than capable of working but is basically too lazy to plus has no qualifications or experience so doubt she would have much luck finding anything

if you house her the council will put her to the bottom of the list - as she is considered adequately housed. So don’t do that.

Why is she not on the electoral roll? Why didn’t she claim benefits like caters allowance? Makes no sence unless she’s here illegally.

Yep, as 61 year old with two children, I am my responsibility not there’s. I work and pay my bills and offer a little help to them. Aka, I’m not in my dotage. 61 is the new 41.

Ageee with above, your mum needs to take responsibility now and sort herself out. It’s nice to be able to bounce ideas off someone and process problems by using someone as a sounding block. Ultimately she takes responsibility not you.

No guilt Op. Simply reality.

My step aunt was in an almost identical situation. She was in her sixties and rehoused into an immaculate one bedroom age restricted flat within a couple of months. Whereabouts in the UK are you? This was in The Midlands.

If she cared for her mother for the last 5 years, how come she has no contributions? What did she do up to the age of 55?

If she's never worked or claimed benefits, no income whatsoever, what has she been living off? Your grandmother's income? What was her situation prior to caring for your grandmother?

No she is not your responsibility. She will need to apply for Universal credit as long as savings are under 16k. anything over 6k will reduce the amount she receives each month. If claiming UC then she will be expected to work unless too unwell to do so in which case she needs to submit sick notes. It will be very hard for her to look for 35 hours of work a week when she has never worked but unfortunately that is what will be expected in return for benefits to live off. Perhaps she could look at voluntary work to gain skills ?
As for housing, universal credit will pay towards housing but it may not cover private rent in full. She should contact her local council as sometimes there is more housing available for over 55's. Council may be able to help with a deposit scheme.

How old is she? Did she not claim child benefit when you were a child? Where did you live growing up? She can’t have been a cater for your mum all her life as she had her own family - you!
did she never work ever not even before she had you? Seems very unlikely to me

Maybe didn't claim carers allowance which would have credited her with NI contributions? Some people just don't claim what they are eligible for sadly.

She's going to have to present as homeless to the council. It's fair enough that you don't want her to live with you but it sounds like she could really use some help filling out forms and navigating the system. She will likely get a hostel type accommodation while she waits for something more permanent. She is entitled to benefits. Just not a pension. She's going to be very poor but there's not much to be done now really. This is exactly why women should never make their whole lives about caring for others. What a miserable end.

Your uncle is talking nonsense, neither you nor he are responsible for another adult. Your mother will be expected to spend whatever money she has on her own upkeep, and find paid work or claim whatever benefits she is entitled to. As pp’s say, Citizen’s Advice will advise her where she goes from here.

No she was born here and is a UK citizen but moved abroad for 15 years with an ex. When she returned to care for her mum she never ‘announced’ she was back.

Ypur uncle is talking out of his arse. My Uncle was in a similar position to your Mum. My Dad helped him apply for a council flat (he ended up with a little bungalow close to my parents), benefits (think it was universal credit and housing benefits) and helped sort how he gets his pension.

Considering your Mum has saved the family / state thousands in care fees and has spent her time looking after her Mum I'd hope that your uncle could manage a little compassion and gratitude.

Have a look here to see what your Mum can claim. https://www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator/Intro/Home?cid=3566a502-86bd-4cdf-81e4-4dec005100e2

She would be able to claim Universal credit assuming she could prove she is habitually resident in the Uk which shouldn't be hard if she has lived here for 5 years.

Lived abroad for 15 years with an ex. Before that lived off DHs income and never claimed. When she returned to England she never worked or claimed.