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Original poster

Are there any legal steps I can take

146 replies

112233aa · 27/04/2023 19:29

Another neighbour one so please bare with me.

Background: I have 3DC, one of which has a disabled badge and has various hidden disabilities. Outside my house is 2 public spaces, due to having no drive one of which we've parked in since we moved in (the same one every time if t matters) they have parked in the other one.

If anyone parks in 'their' space the husband gets shitty with you. for example he's purposely parked in a way that someone hasn't been able to even get in their car to move it, becomes verbally aggressive and he's even parked outside someones house blocking their drive as they've parked their car in 'his' space.

The local council have been out and put markers out for a disabled bay outside of our property. Ever since this he's been making life difficult for us. Parking in ways that DC couldn't get in the car without difficulties, staring at us continuously when we leave the house, coming out of the house whenever we are to just stare.

It all came to a blow the other week when as I got home he started shouting and swearing at us. "we were all frauds, scroungers, scum, not really disabled"etc and he was "going to report us". Later that night I was moving my car he came barrelling out of his house and started shouting at me. Telling me to move my car and he wants to swap spaces. I said no and he repeatedly carried on, shouting and pointing before going to get his keys and coming back out.

I tried to go in and he continued stood in-between my car and my house, being generally verbally abusive and vile and his wife came out to watch from the doorstep. All we kind of got from his verbal attack was he didn't want a blue badge space there and as DC could walk he wasn't "actually disabled" and they know "for a fact the only reason he has blue badge was because I told them what to say, which obviously isn't possible or true. His wife chimed in with some other stuff about how she "knew" things about DC and his needs and how she can report him as he can walk. (she works for the NHS and could look him up if she wanted). I went inside as she was screaming obscenities and just some unpleasant stuff about my DC.

I reported this incident to the police but due to staffing issues they wouldn't investigate further despite video footage. Since then they've continued to try and intimidate and harass us. Whenever we leave the house he leaves his house this is caught on our camera. Whenever someone comes to visit they take photos of them or stare out the window of them recording them making them uncomfortable.

Today I received an email saying a complaint has been made against my DC and his blue badge. It listed various false allegations that they have said to us they were going to make and others that wouldn't even be possible. They also stated that they have taken photos and videos of my DC outside our home. God knows how many they have of us doing things.

Obviously I explained everything to them and they were very sympathetic but this is becoming unbearable. My children can no longer go outside our property due to them taking photos of them and people no longer want to come round due to them. I've also logged this with the police. I suffer from anxiety and I now don't feel comfortable leaving my home.

Is there any steps I can take?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/04/2023 19:33

Escalate with the police as this is a hate crime, he is intimidating and abusing children. I would be speaking/emailing/writing to the police daily. I would look at escalating via the complaints procedure.

afromom · 27/04/2023 19:40

As the pp says, I would escalate to the police every time as it happens. I don't have legal knowledge but rather than neighbour issues I would see if you could get this logged as discrimination/a hate crime, which I expect they would have to take more seriously. Your DC has a protected characteristic that they are using to abuse you.

If his wife stated that she works for the NHS and could look up his records, and you have her name, I would also contact the local hospital hr department/ or wherever she works if you know it and report her for that quote alone. That's an appalling abuse of power and confidentiality!

RandomMess · 27/04/2023 19:54

If the wife looked you up it's a sackable offence.

I would put in a GDPR request to see who has accessed your DC medical records and why. If she has you can make a complaint or ask why she accessed them as she's been threatening to.

This is all logged on their system.

Original poster
112233aa · 27/04/2023 21:18

RandomMess · 27/04/2023 19:33

Escalate with the police as this is a hate crime, he is intimidating and abusing children. I would be speaking/emailing/writing to the police daily. I would look at escalating via the complaints procedure.

I've logged all incidents as harassment and discrimination but they simply say it's all he said she said and nothing can be done 😞

OP posts:
TellerTuesday · 27/04/2023 21:23

Do you have a partner living with you OP or are you a single mum? I'm presuming the latter but forgive me if I'm wrong. He's basically just a bully and if you are a lone parent I would be getting a male friend, family member to come round & have a word in his ear.

Definitely keep on at the police and I would make contact with the NHS Trust that his wife works at and complain about that also.

JJJSchmidt · 27/04/2023 21:28

You have received some good advice above, you could also consider making a self referral to your local early help team as victimes of crime and stressing the impact on the children of witnessing these things You could also report the member of NHS staff to lado as accessing his information inappropriately could be within their remit, and would at least ensure it came to the attention of her employer and was sufficiently investigated.

Original poster
112233aa · 27/04/2023 21:28

Im a single parent with 0 involvement from their father etc. He very much is a bully. All the incidents he has had regarding this matter is with woman. He won't get into it with their husbands/other men on the street. He also works for the navy so I think he thinks he can get away with it.

My only fear is, now they haven't got what they've wanted they're going to get worse and worse.

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 27/04/2023 21:30

Get a camera and ring door bell.
The police should act if they don't go higher and make a complaint, you are being harassed

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 27/04/2023 21:31

If he works for the navy report him there as well

Eggseggseverywhere · 27/04/2023 21:34

Ask you MP for navy details and report him. Our ndn harassed us and stood by while his dp verbally abused us. He was a 999 call operator. We reported him and her.. The abuse stopped.

RandomMess · 27/04/2023 21:35

You need to use the phrase hate crime and abuse of children.

Please look up the complaints procedure. Them going and talking to the neighbours probably would have mopped it in the bud. Also consider contacting your local MP about the lack of police action.

Absolutely make the GDPR request about who has accessed your DC medical records.

peonypurple · 27/04/2023 21:39

He's in the Navy? Perfect, call and report him to them! My DH is an officer in the Navy and said report him so he will get a bollocking from his seniors and be embarrassed

peonypurple · 27/04/2023 21:40

Forward the footage to his base

Original poster
112233aa · 27/04/2023 21:41

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 27/04/2023 21:30

Get a camera and ring door bell.
The police should act if they don't go higher and make a complaint, you are being harassed

I have both of those however they still Weren't interested 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
112233aa · 27/04/2023 21:42

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 27/04/2023 21:31

If he works for the navy report him there as well

There's a few in the area and I'm not sure which one he's at and I've no idea how to get the details to complain

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 27/04/2023 21:43

RandomMess · 27/04/2023 19:54

If the wife looked you up it's a sackable offence.

I would put in a GDPR request to see who has accessed your DC medical records and why. If she has you can make a complaint or ask why she accessed them as she's been threatening to.

This is all logged on their system.

This is what I would do. You might as well as she won't know you've done it so it's doing something without actually having to have a confrontation.

I've had similar neighbours. It was the worst time of my life. We need had to move to get away. You can't 'win' because they are lunatics.

Kyse · 27/04/2023 21:52

It's shit but if you have a friend/relative who is male and looks scary, get them round a few times

My neighbour was complaining about everything. One day my dad was here, trying a casserole I had made (sausage so nothing smelly!)
Door is hammered on, I open it and it's the neighbour swearing at me about fucking cooking smells blah blah. Opened the door a bit more, he saw my dad and his face... it was priceless
Before that my dad had been "he's elderly, be nice" which turned to "don't open the door, fuck that"
Never heard a peep out of him again

Don't respond either, just totally ignore them

Winter2020 · 27/04/2023 21:55

Hi OP,
Your situation reminded me of this case in some ways
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk/2009/sep/28/fiona-pilkington-suicide-mother-police

Not the same of course but you would have thought the police would have learned enough to at least be a supportive presence.

I agree with other posters - tell the police you want this investigated(and recorded) as a hate crime against a disabled person. As for he said/she said - surely it's the police's job to investigate?

Police errors contributed to suicide of tormented mother Fiona Pilkington

The Independent Police Complaints Commission is to launch an investigation into the way the "distressing" case was handled

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk/2009/sep/28/fiona-pilkington-suicide-mother-police

drpet49 · 27/04/2023 22:06

RandomMess · 27/04/2023 19:33

Escalate with the police as this is a hate crime, he is intimidating and abusing children. I would be speaking/emailing/writing to the police daily. I would look at escalating via the complaints procedure.

This. It is Unacceptable the police have done nothing so far.

TizerorFizz · 27/04/2023 22:20

Is there a police commissioner? There must be. I don’t understand why the police think it’s ok to do nothing. Why do we put up with this ineffective useless bunch of state employees?

Nat6999 · 27/04/2023 22:26

Contact the Police & Crime Commissioner for your local force & the Chief Constable, give dates you have reported it.

lkkjhg · 27/04/2023 22:41

Contact your MP and ask them to intervene as Police are failing to deal with the abuse of a vulnerable person

Boomboom22 · 27/04/2023 22:45

Yes def go higher. Pcc or mp or both. Copy in police. When you say logged is this with 101 only? Maybe call to go higher but you need to use the right words. I'm sure posters can help.

endofthelinefinally · 27/04/2023 22:49

RandomMess · 27/04/2023 19:54

If the wife looked you up it's a sackable offence.

I would put in a GDPR request to see who has accessed your DC medical records and why. If she has you can make a complaint or ask why she accessed them as she's been threatening to.

This is all logged on their system.

Yes. Do this asap. You need to look up the name of the designated Caldicott Guardian at both your GP surgery and whatever hospitals/clinics your son has been registered or seen at. That is the person who is responsible for checking access to records.

Careerdilemma · 27/04/2023 22:53

Are they in social housing? If so contact the council/housing association as they may have powers to deal with anti social behaviour in tenants.

Also definitely contact your local MP for support and advice. They can be surprisingly effective.