Relocating Child 300 miles away - 60/40 split

[NorthernMum86]

Hi,

I want to relocate myself and daughter after splitting up with my ex. Our daughter is 3 - in pre school in the local area.

We currently have a rough 60/40 split but the move would mean thats not practical anymore given he has her on 2 week nights a week plus a weekend split.

I want to move to be with a new partner, but he lives 5 hours away. So the current arrangement would need to change to something like School Holidays & weekends but he is pushing back against this.

What chances of this passing in court do i have?

thanks
NM

Your three-year-old has - as far as we can tell from the information you've provided - a loving, engaged father who has her 40% of the time. I simply cannot fathom how you could rob her of this relationship because of what you want. If you succeed in this move it's likely to have long-term emotional repercussions in her life and she will not thank you. Her poor dad too.

This is so sad op, and unlike those telling you not to spout your unreasonable BS in court, I recommend that you do, so the courts get a full picture of the type of person they are dealing with.
If you can't prioritize your DD over this then I don't imagine she will be put first in many other situations and I think you will seriously damaged her.
Do the right thing and let her live with her dad.

Presumably when if it went from 60/40 to the odd weekend and holidays the non resident parent would also end up shelling out more for child maintenance . I really can’t see why , if he’s serious about you , your new partner can’t move his kids at least there is no other parent to consider .

Yeah what a load of arseholes, with their inconvenient ‘morals’ which apparently have no place in making decisions about your child’s life 🙄

Your poor, poor daughter is all I can say.

How long has your boyfriend been a widower?

Have you met his children? Do they want a stepmother and stepsister?
Will you be moving into a new home or into his house?

Good luck with getting it. Plus you will need to drive her back for contact or at the very least, half way.

My friend is going through a similar process and has already moved, despite being advised not to. She will have to move back if ordered by the Court and its looking likely she will. She thought moving and getting a job would increase her chances but the Court are viewing it as her attempting to break down the relationship.

Why do you think your new relationship takes priority over your daughters relationship with her Dad? Or are you hoping it will break down and she will forget about him?

My sister was in this exact situation, she took both her sons to live with a new partner, ex took her to court and to her amazement won full custody. She saw them for a few years sporadically but ex remarried and she doesn't really have any contact with her adult sons now. Good luck

Would you still be so sceptical if the answers had been more in your favour? You wouldn't, would you?

Your daughters relationship with her dad is much more established than the relationship you want to move for. Move on your own if you're choosing to move

I hope your ex gets full custody

Your poor, poor daughter is all I can say.

Imagine having a mother this selfish. That poor poor kid.

Must be some solid gold cock your boyfriend has 🤣

My brothers ex tried to pull this stunt, he put a stop to it fairly easily, think we were all a bit surprised the courts 'sided' with him.

Niece now lives with him because even an 11 year old could tell mum was more concerned with her sex life than her kid.

Makes me sad that your kids aren’t being put first.

Just in case it's relevant too, Cafcass don't just look at the best interests of the child the court case is about but all the DC.

When we went through court ExH was living with his sister and her DC, Cafcass looked at the best interests of all 4 DC not just my DC. So if Cafcass think it'll upset your DPs DC to have you move in they will say that.

I'm sure that whatever the advice here said OP will be attempting to do it regardless. Completely and utterly selfish.

And hilarious that you think your ex will also move 300 miles to live nearer to your shag piece OP. Absolutely laughable. Except it isn't really is it, because there is a little 3 year old child involved that is going to be the one who suffers.

I agree. This is absolutely not in the best interest of a young child.

A judge would also not look kindly on the fact that this is a LDR and you've only been together a year. Especially since your ex currently has 40%.

And you have to question what sort of man would want his girlfriend to uproot her kid to move all that way away from her dad?

After just over a year of dating if I read that right. Urgh.

Cock is everywhere, unless this particular one is made of solid gold and spouts champagne this guy isn't anything you can't get closer to home.

Imagine trailing your daughter half way across the country for a man you barely know (I'm guessing you see him maybe once a month at most, so you've met around 12/13 times total, and it's very easy to hide who you really are over message/calls).

I don't think the court, nor your ex will facilitate your sex life.

Surely the sensible thing is that you move, and have your child only on weekends and school holidays? After all, if you think it's good enough for him, then you should be willing to accept it too...

I don't see why the children should miss out on a very close relationship with their father (and vice versa) because of your lifestyle choices. It's very unfair.

The rule is that the person who moves away needs to do the travelling.

So not only does that mean you having to travel 300miles every weekend and the time, energy and petrol it takes to do that.

He won’t be able to see her during the week so you’ll have to drop her off on a Friday and pick her up on the Sunday, but it’s too far to go back and forth so you’ll have to find somewhere to stay that weekend.

So it will mean you’ll get no weekends with your DD or your new partner and your life will just be working all week and then travelling all weekend - that is not fun for anyone and it’s pointless moving in with a new partner if you’re never going to see them.

A better option would be to stay out for now.

If your ex has his DC EOW that means you can stay with your new bf that weekend and on the weekends you do have DD then your new partner and his kids can travel up and stay with you.

If you want proper legal advice seek proper legal advice don't be posting on an internet forum.

Morally this would be wrong. Not nice for your child to move her away from her Dad.

Big mistake to disrupt your child's life for a partner for you.

Your childs Dad is just as important to her , as his childs schooling.

They have bonded, and a close relationship with him is in her best interest. Uprooting her, depriving both of them of a significant level of contact, is not. Its in yours!

Another that was brought up in this situation. She may never forgive you.

You can't do that op come on now.

Fantastic response here

OP, stop think with your fanny and put your childs needs first.