Relocating Child 300 miles away - 60/40 split

[NorthernMum86]

Hi,

I want to relocate myself and daughter after splitting up with my ex. Our daughter is 3 - in pre school in the local area.

We currently have a rough 60/40 split but the move would mean thats not practical anymore given he has her on 2 week nights a week plus a weekend split.

I want to move to be with a new partner, but he lives 5 hours away. So the current arrangement would need to change to something like School Holidays & weekends but he is pushing back against this.

What chances of this passing in court do i have?

thanks
NM

How terribly selfish of you OP.

Was a few years ago mins you.

Hopefully the courts haven't changed much and still put kids first.

Not much over a year though is it or you would have said 18 months to make it look better.

Far too soon to make decisions like this. I hope it fails for the sake of your ex and children.

Also you say your new partner is a widow, so there is no other parent to take into account. He could move, but he is too sensible to do that on the back of a year long relationship.

You want to destroy your child’s relationship with her father for a relationship of only a year?

Also how well do you really know this person if you live 5 hours apart?

Is this for real op?

Just when you think you've heard it all......

Unless the Dad agrees you will have to defend your choice to a social worker and judge.

Be careful involving the courts as they could make a decision that you will be very unhappy with. It will also cost you ££ and ruin the relationship with your Ex.

Get his agreement or consider a LDR until his children are older and you bf can move

What an awful thing to try and do. Would you honestly be happy if this was the other way round? Thought not. Don’t try and take someone’s child away from them for no good reason.

Couldn’t she stay with her dad a bit more and you do the commute 3/4 nights with your new partner and 3/4 back with her? I always think it is unfair that the children be to do so much travelling in these situations. Obviously, I have no idea what your job is.

How on earth would this work when the child starts school?

Sorry I misread that - I see what you mean now, but still not ideal at all

I'm not looking to argue here, was just asking. These forums can get quite heated. I just didn't want a bias opinion because i know what my request sounds like. I wanted a legal answer free from bias. I know the process now goes through cafcass and this is the stage it is currently at.

But given the fact my ex has no new partner, and on occasions he works close to the location we want to relocate too, it isnt within the realms he also moves down south?

My OH's ex wife tried to do this. His son is now with him full time as the judge did not look favourably on her viewpoint.

How well do you know this new partner of you live 300 miles apart. Let alone his/your dc? A year is not that long before uprooting away from everything she knows.

Why should your ex have to up sticks and move just to facilitate your sex life?

I used to be a solicitor and worked in the family courts representing parents who were splitting and trying to resolve custody issues.

there is almost no chance the court would allow you to do this. I say “almost” because occasionally judges make weird decisions, and because we don’t know all the facts so maybe you’re missing out something important.

but the starting point is that you will not be allowed to move your child this far from their father.

If by some unlikely chance it was allowed, then you would almost certainly be required to do all the driving/escorting your daughter by train, and to pay all the costs as this is your choice.

This would also be a cruel and batshit thing to do to your daughter even if it was legal. She will either grow up doing constant 5 hour journeys (missing out on all kinds of school parties, activities, time with friends etc) or you will destroy her relationship with her father.

If you want to be with your partner, and your child needs their relationship with their father, why aren't you considering becoming the non resident parent and only seeing them holidays etc? Then you child keeps their routine and nursery school etc

300 miles? 5 hours? That's really really unreasonable. Your poor child. No wonder her dad is kicking off.

If he doesn't want to why should he have to? Think of your child not your sex life

So you think your ex should either hardly ever see his DD, or up sticks and move with all the costs that involves just so you can be with a man you've been dating for a year?

Yabu.

This. He moves to you.

I would not on the basis of it allow you to move with the children. If you want to move I would suggest You allow your partner to become the resident parent and give you 50% of the holidays where you come and collect and drop them off at the new resident parents house.

If this man means so much after a year, would you consider leaving your daughter with her Dad and you do the 5 hour journey to see her and back every weekend? (20 hours of driving a weekend )

That pain and automatic reaction of NO way, is the same for her father.

I can’t see why your ex would want to move south to accommodate this , it’s one thing being away for work it’s entirely another trying to buy a house / rent in the south . If it’s a 60/40 split at the moment why not offer to leave your child with her dad and you have the odd weekend and holidays, if it’s good enough for him then it will be good enough for you .

I know you're looking for a legal viewpoint but please listen to what everyone else is saying.

My parents split up and one of them moved 400 miles away. It was horrible and I spent my whole childhood feeling anxious and unsafe. I resented my mother and her new boyfriend and I felt like she put his needs above mine. This has never left me. I've suffered with attachment issues my whole life. I've never felt wanted. My parents don't know this because I've never told them so they probably think everything worked out hunky dory.

Please do not do this to your child.

I'm interested to know how old the partners children are, and how long since their mother died. They will be impacted by this too.