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partner has our child and is refusing to return to the UK
201

davejohns · 18/06/2022 22:52

So we went for a holiday to her home country in the EU, and I had to return a week early for work reasons. On the eve that she and our child was suppose to fly back, she said didn't want to come back. I'm trying to keep things amicable at the moment and intend to fly back out there and resolve things, and is it stands we are not separated, but if that falls apart legally is that still abduction if I do not consent to our child not returning?

This is a very stressful time for me. Thanks for reading

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 18/06/2022 22:53

Assuming the country is in The Hague convention, yes. You'd need to go to court here to apply for an order of some kind. You need legal advice.

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 22:56

Yes, I intend to do that. It's just I'm trying to be understanding with her at the moment. As a father with joint parental responsibility I'm worried it'll won't work in my favour and make things worse once courts are involved.

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Feelingoktoday · 18/06/2022 23:00

I think you get out there ASAP ie now and talk to her to find out what is going on. If she refuses to change her mind you need to get legal advice ASAP. You are the child’s father I assume? Courts will not be impressed with your partner I’m sure.

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 23:04

If this can't be resolved amicably, is there no deadline or anything like that. For example, if we can't resolve this months down the line, as long as i refuse permission its still abduction?

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 23:05

And yes I am the father.

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PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 23:06

You need to get urgent legal asvice

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 23:07

i will ring a solicitors tomorrow. I'm just worried that if this gets messy I'll never see my child again.😓

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spotcheck · 18/06/2022 23:11

Is she refusing to return ever, or is she just wanting to stay with her family for awhile more?

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 23:12

refusing to return ever but is happy for me to move over to be with them.

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MoveBitch · 18/06/2022 23:16

Was this spoken about before, or just completely out of the blue?
Also how old is the child?

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oviraptor21 · 18/06/2022 23:18

What country are your child and the mother in?

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 23:18

She's said how unhappy she is living in the UK, but this was pretty much out of the blue. At the very least I'd expect her to return and discuss things.

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davejohns · 18/06/2022 23:23

so this is abduction yes?

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oviraptor21 · 18/06/2022 23:26

It sounds like it could be.
No. 2 - wrongful retention on the link above

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Pinotpleasure · 19/06/2022 00:18

@davejohns - please do look at this website from “Reunite International” - the British charity which helps parents involved in international child abduction and custody disputes.

They also have an advice (phone) line and a list of solicitors who are experienced in this field:

www.reunite.org

All the best for a speedy and amicable resolution.

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Wallywobbles · 19/06/2022 04:53

Speed is of the essence at the beginning of situations like this. And work is really not a good enough reason to not be out there and seeing a lawyer. I'm not sure if you'd need to see one here or there.

You will need a specialist lawyer. And preferably one that deals with the right country. Tell us which one and someone will be able to give you more help.

I live abroad and I always knew I'd lose my kids if I tried to leave the country permanently with them.

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davejohns · 19/06/2022 05:40

The reason I haven't done so immediately is that we haven't separated yet. Are you saying by committing abduction that could mean the mother could lose custody in the UK courts?

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dreamersdown · 19/06/2022 05:58

You need to answer the questions people are asking you if you want good advice.

  • what country are they in?
  • what nationality is your child?
  • are you married?
  • are you on the birth certificate?
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davejohns · 19/06/2022 06:05

dreamersdown · 19/06/2022 05:58

You need to answer the questions people are asking you if you want good advice.

  • what country are they in?
  • what nationality is your child?
  • are you married?
  • are you on the birth certificate?

PL
Dual Citizenship
No
Yes (shared parental responsibility)

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Wakemeup17 · 19/06/2022 06:20

Why does she not want to return?
What was the relationship like back in the UK.
If there was abuse in the relationship ship that she can prove it will not be that straightforward to get the kids back to the UK if that's what you want.

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davejohns · 19/06/2022 06:22

She is homesick. The relationship has been strained with this pressure but there was no abuse in the relationship.

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Wakemeup17 · 19/06/2022 06:23

davejohns · 19/06/2022 05:40

The reason I haven't done so immediately is that we haven't separated yet. Are you saying by committing abduction that could mean the mother could lose custody in the UK courts?

It's unlikely she will lose custody.

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mathanxiety · 19/06/2022 06:33

What precisely do you mean by 'strained'?

And are you on the birth cert?

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davejohns · 19/06/2022 06:35

just the normal stresses of having a baby and her homesickness. and yes i'm on the birth certificate. I state that already.

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