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Original poster

Daughter’s break-up and holiday nightmare

307 replies

LockdownBride · 06/06/2022 18:59

Hello,
My daughter was 18 in February, had been with her BF for 18 mths and they booked a holiday together for after their A-level exams in Greece.
DD paid for the trip upfront and he was going to pay her back, she had £4K child trust fund on her birthday. The holiday was £1200.
He ended it two weeks ago, right before her first exam and we are just beginning to see the light and get angry.
He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.
I think this is unreasonable as she will have to find someone to go with, pay transfer fees for a name change all at short notice.
If she cancels, she wouldn’t get a refund.
the holiday is booked with LoveHoliday.com

Any ideas or suggestions on her rights, if any, would be great 😬

OP posts:
newname12345 · 07/06/2022 08:25

@ToastedBunny Why would he be begging? He is happy for the holiday to be cancelled and lose his half. What he doesn't want is someone else having a very cheap holiday at his expense (ie the cost of the name change which I guess might be £100).

HeleenaHandcart · 07/06/2022 08:27

I’m really surprised that people think it’s ok he hasn’t paid straight away. She’s not a bank or a middle man, he wanted it, he pays . If he then wants to negotiate selling it on that’s fine, maybe he’ll lose less than £600 if a friend can buy half.
Sadly legally I doubt she’ll get anywhere.

HeleenaHandcart · 07/06/2022 08:29

Also, it’s fair he has the option to go with a friend and she sells her half. That’s equal

iCorvidae · 07/06/2022 08:32

Yutes · 06/06/2022 20:24

no. Not just you.

Show quote history

OP definitely thinks that the ex should pay for it all £1,200

Even if her DD goes on the trip with someone else. She's annoyed that they split 2 weeks before DD exams, which is ok you are allowed to be annoyed as a parent, but if she is able to do a name change and someone else can go (maybe the OP) then ex should really only pay the admin fee for changing the name

If she cant find anyone else, and then doesnt go , he should pay his half

Noisyprat · 07/06/2022 08:34

Firstly I hope you've highlighted to your daughter the importance of not lending money like this. Money up front always.

He has said he will pay if it is cancelled but she won't get any money back. Where is the guarantee he will do this? I bet he won't give her 600 and you've no way of getting it. Do not even think about endless claims.

Personally I would see if she can get a friend to go either by offering to pay for the holiday yourself or saying you just want 2/300. If that doesn't work I would go with my DD. Frankly I think you'll lose all the money if you don't and that would be a real shame for your DD.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/06/2022 08:39

I'd tell hi I'd cancelled, get the £600 and go with her yourself OP. Probably not very honest but what's he going to do about it?

Wheresthebeach · 07/06/2022 08:49

He should have paid months ago, and he didn't. I don't see how that's reasonable or fair. He's behaved appallingly and your DD is rightfully upset. The holiday is just rubbing salt in the wound. He should pay her what he owes, and then if she can find someone to go that person can pay him, and they can sort the name change. He's made this mess and is leaving her to sort it. Not right IMO.

The timing is terrible, and the way he has behaved with cheating is just awful.

SweetMystery · 07/06/2022 08:50

LockdownBride · 06/06/2022 19:21

I totally get that, she’s also allowed to feel anger at being hurt and having plans broken and changed, as well as her heart.
He cheated on her. They’re 18, shit happens, she’ll get over it but he should pay for what he committed to and not leave her high and dry.
I think she will cut her losses, cancel and get no refund but get him to pay his half, at least then she gets something. She’s still down £600.

Yes, definitely cancel. She gets half the money back at least.
Horrible situation but he is being reasonable re. money.

rookiemere · 07/06/2022 08:52

@Wheresthebeach they're teenagers though, not a married couple. Break ups happen and often the pressure of exams etc is the catalyst for that.
He hasn't behaved well, but the DD should have insisted on the money up front.

newname12345 · 07/06/2022 08:53

BitOutOfPractice · 07/06/2022 08:39

I'd tell hi I'd cancelled, get the £600 and go with her yourself OP. Probably not very honest but what's he going to do about it?

If he has the details of the holiday he can check online whether its been cancelled or not. If he can't and he's not trusting he might also say he will pay (in person) on the day the holiday starts.

swapcicles · 07/06/2022 08:54

Can you move the holiday?
Say it's been cancelled and go at a later date with someone else.
He hopefully will pay his half. I suppose it might be a bit cheeky but he's hardly been decent either!

FacebookPhotos · 07/06/2022 09:00

He should have already paid her, so should do that now. If she then finds someone else who wants to go they can negotiate how much the other person is willing to pay.

StageRage · 07/06/2022 09:01

The issue is that if she can’t magically contour up a replacement, and cancels, she will lose HER £600 as a result of his cancellation.

Fair enough for him not to pay if she finds a replacement for him… but tough on her if she can’t.

I doubt there is any legal recourse, though.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/06/2022 09:02

The only reason he’d get the full £600 is if everyone makes a compromise except him ! ( The new friend by accepting a last minute holiday at full price and DD by paying the name change). How is that fair?

But it’s not a case of him ‘getting £600’. The OP’s daughter has already paid the money out - he’s paid nothing. If she can’t prove an agreement for him to pay her back, he could easily argue that she was going to treat him to the holiday, but is now changing her story because she’s bitter about being dumped.

The ex isn’t ‘getting’ anything. He’s already got the money. What OP’s daughter needs to do is minimise her losses. And I’m afraid ‘But it’s not faiiiirrr!!!!’ doesn’t cut it as a legal argument.

LIZS · 07/06/2022 09:02

Have you checked whether she is fully liable if cancelling? Any chance of even a partial refund?

Plumbella · 07/06/2022 09:03

So he cheated on her and broke up with her? I don't think he'll pay the £600 - just wants you DD to cancel so she can't go.

SeaDogs · 07/06/2022 09:05

Fine for him not to pay if she finds someone else, but if she doesn’t he should pay the whole amount not just his half.

Eggshausted · 07/06/2022 09:10

So she got the 4k from the Government for free?

prh47bridge · 07/06/2022 09:16

Why on earth should he get more favourable cancellation terms than the daughter?

In what way is he getting more favourable cancellation terms than the daughter?

If she cancels the holiday, he will pay £600. They would both be down £600 and neither of them would have a holiday. They would be in exactly the same position as if they were still together and had decided to cancel.

If she goes with someone else, that person should pay £600. There is no justification for him paying for a holiday for someone else. She would be down £600 plus the cost of the change of name (which, having checked Love Holidays' terms, should be minimal), but she would have a holiday, so she is in pretty much the same position as she would have been if they were still together and had gone on the holiday. You seem to think this is unfair. I struggle to see that. At most he should pay for the change of name in this scenario.

I don't know if going on her own is an option. What he would do in that situation hasn't been stated but, in my view, he should pay £600. So they would both be down £600 and she would have a holiday.

Those are the only scenarios available. I really don't see that he is getting more favourable cancellation terms.

Onceinawhileuser · 07/06/2022 09:25

She can find a friend to go with or can go on her own. Then she won't lose out financially, or only marginally. If this is your idea of a "nightmare" you've lived a very lucky life. A chance for her to start to be independent?

Pluvia · 07/06/2022 09:27

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/06/2022 09:02

The only reason he’d get the full £600 is if everyone makes a compromise except him ! ( The new friend by accepting a last minute holiday at full price and DD by paying the name change). How is that fair?

But it’s not a case of him ‘getting £600’. The OP’s daughter has already paid the money out - he’s paid nothing. If she can’t prove an agreement for him to pay her back, he could easily argue that she was going to treat him to the holiday, but is now changing her story because she’s bitter about being dumped.

The ex isn’t ‘getting’ anything. He’s already got the money. What OP’s daughter needs to do is minimise her losses. And I’m afraid ‘But it’s not faiiiirrr!!!!’ doesn’t cut it as a legal argument.

This is ridiculous. The fact that he's already offered to pay £600 is an admission that he agreed to the contract in the first place.

SamPoodle123 · 07/06/2022 09:30

I would tell him he must pay his part, and then just go on the trip alone.

Pluvia · 07/06/2022 09:30

It certainly would cut it as a legal argument in the Small Claims Court.

Everyone is so quick to teach the OP's daughter a lesson and so easy on a young man who has behaved in an execrable way. If he was my son I'd be livid that he should jeopardise a young woman's academic hopes and hit her financially. He's going to be one of the deadbeat guys so many MNetters complain about.

starsparkle08 · 07/06/2022 09:35

I think the ex boyfriend is dictating too much . What if he doesn’t pay the £600 if she cancels ? Then your daughter will be down £1200 .
I think he owes his half anyway as he should have paid this on booking . This just my opinion.

Whoatealltheminieggs · 07/06/2022 09:38

Good lesson to learn young about not giving/ loaning men money. He should pay her back if she cancels but I can see why he doesn’t want to give it to her if she’s taking another