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Original poster

Daughter’s break-up and holiday nightmare

307 replies

LockdownBride · 06/06/2022 18:59

Hello,
My daughter was 18 in February, had been with her BF for 18 mths and they booked a holiday together for after their A-level exams in Greece.
DD paid for the trip upfront and he was going to pay her back, she had £4K child trust fund on her birthday. The holiday was £1200.
He ended it two weeks ago, right before her first exam and we are just beginning to see the light and get angry.
He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.
I think this is unreasonable as she will have to find someone to go with, pay transfer fees for a name change all at short notice.
If she cancels, she wouldn’t get a refund.
the holiday is booked with LoveHoliday.com

Any ideas or suggestions on her rights, if any, would be great 😬

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 07/06/2022 09:39

@rookiemere She trusted her boyfriend. At the end of the day someone was going to have to hand money over to another person to book/pay for the holiday so someone was going to have to trust the other person. Where is his responsibility here? Why is she getting criticised for believing him, and he's getting portrayed as fair and reasonable when he's cheated and left her high and dry for the holiday?

fruitbrewhaha · 07/06/2022 09:46

If he pays his £600 share then the half of the holiday is his to do what he wants. Whereas if he doesn't she can sell on his half to a friend. She must have someone who would go with her, can you help with the cost?

There was always a risk that they wouldn't still be together, they are young, it happens

pixie5121 · 07/06/2022 09:48

I don't think it's reasonable at all. If you agree to go on holiday with someone, it's a commitment. You don't get to just back out of it.

I would expect to still pay my half if I dumped someone I had agreed to go away with, even if they went with someone else. That other person might not want to pay full whack for a holiday what wasn't totally their own choice, but they may be willing to go if it's covered.

LeftFootForward · 07/06/2022 09:52

I think he's being reasonable about the holiday - agreeing to pay half if cancelled and nothing if someone else goes but what I can't get my head around is how he could end their relationship right before her exams. Anyone with any decency would have waited and supported her until they were over.

BluebellCockleshell123 · 07/06/2022 09:53

No matter if she cancels the holiday or goes in it alone, he still owes her the £600 that she paid out for his half of the holiday. If she finds someone else to go on the holiday with, then they should reimburse the ex-bf £600 minus the amount for the name change charges.

I’d be embarrassed if this was my son:

  1. he didn’t pay his girlfriend back immediately
  2. he cheated on her
  3. he broke up with her right before her A-Levels
  4. he is trying to manipulate her into not going on holiday
Pluvia · 07/06/2022 09:56

Wheresthebeach · 07/06/2022 09:39

@rookiemere She trusted her boyfriend. At the end of the day someone was going to have to hand money over to another person to book/pay for the holiday so someone was going to have to trust the other person. Where is his responsibility here? Why is she getting criticised for believing him, and he's getting portrayed as fair and reasonable when he's cheated and left her high and dry for the holiday?

I agree, in spades. This young man is getting a free ride from so many people here. He had a contract with her to go on holiday at a price of £600. We know this because he admits that he owes her £600 and has offered to pay it. I'm presuming, OP, that this is in a text or message or email? If not, het your daughter to text him, WA him or whatever, and have him put it in writing.

As he's the one dropping out of the holiday he needs to pay her the £600 now, with no ifs or buts — and I would also say that if she manages to get someone to go along with her he should also pay for, or at the very least go halves on, the cost of transferring the name. HE's the one who's dropped out: she shouldn't have to pay for his decision.

KettrickenSmiled · 07/06/2022 09:57

He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.

Seeing as he's just admitted, in writing, that he owes her half the £1200 holiday cost, you have the weasel bang to rights. he cannot set conditions - he needs to pay up, or explain to the Small Claims Court why he is withholding.

She needs to text him back - or you/dad, if she is feeling too upset - explaining that he owes DD £600, she paid for him in good faith, she expects the money paid back by XYZ date, or he will be taken to court.

Hopetobeamumof4 · 07/06/2022 10:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

KettrickenSmiled · 07/06/2022 10:01

Getoffmyshoes · 06/06/2022 19:03

I think he’s being perfectly reasonable! Why would he still pay if she’s taking someone else?!

Ah, another Cheeky Fucker.

Because she paid FOR HIM in good faith, & he changed his mind.

If you were my colleague, & I asked you to buy me a sandwich because I was working through lunchtime, how would you feel if you put it on my desk, & I asked you to take it away because I'd changed my mind, & won't be reimbursing you?

Now multiply that cost by 300.
Still think it's reasonable - now it's costing YOU?

Hopetobeamumof4 · 07/06/2022 10:02

Ahhh im so sorry I’ve posted my post on this thread by accident. My IT skills are crap x

KettrickenSmiled · 07/06/2022 10:03

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

You've accidentally posted in the wrong place @Hopetobeamumof4 - you need to start your own thread to get responses.

I doubt any girls will be able to advise you though, as girls tend to be discouraged from becoming mothers, so you might want to address your post to some women.

mam0918 · 07/06/2022 10:04

In a court of law if she takes someone else they got the service so it THEM that pays not the person who did not recieve the service.

Your daughter has 3 options:

  1. cancel, lose her money and he pays his half
  2. go alone and have the holiday and he pays his half
  3. take someone else and they assume his cost aswell as place

The 4th option is they go together (could do their own seperate things) but Im guessing they already decided thats not an option.

A possible 5th option depending on airline or booking t&cs etc... might be to transfer credit to another holiday but theres likely fees. If they allow it though she maybe able to split the credits and they each can book their own holiday somewhere.

GrendelsGrandma · 07/06/2022 10:05

In this situation I would get her to ring up and give the holiday company the full sob story. They might well give her credits or something so she can go at a later date.

Really though, teenagers are fickle, it would have been best for him to give her the money before she booked. I don't think he should have to pay for someone else to go on holiday.

mam0918 · 07/06/2022 10:07

KettrickenSmiled · 07/06/2022 10:01

Ah, another Cheeky Fucker.

Because she paid FOR HIM in good faith, & he changed his mind.

If you were my colleague, & I asked you to buy me a sandwich because I was working through lunchtime, how would you feel if you put it on my desk, & I asked you to take it away because I'd changed my mind, & won't be reimbursing you?

Now multiply that cost by 300.
Still think it's reasonable - now it's costing YOU?

Show quote history

You cant change the law.

In actual fact its up to him to sell his place on the holiday and that would leave OPs daughter going with a stranger so what hes doing is in her best interest.

If she doesnt take anyone he has to pay but she cant demand he pay for another person to have a free holiday.

SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am · 07/06/2022 10:07

I wouldn't cancel until I had the 600 quid personally - if he's left it so late anyway, then I wouldn't trust him to pay up, or to pay up the full amount.

If the money's already spent, I'd find someone else to go (even at a reduced rate - since 600 quid is lost anyway, why not have the holiday and see it as costing whatever is left from what a friend can't pay) and as a massive Fuck You to him (I took the kids on an amazing holiday we'd been talking about for ages together after I ended it with their dad - it was cathartic).

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 07/06/2022 10:09

LockdownBride · 06/06/2022 19:21

I totally get that, she’s also allowed to feel anger at being hurt and having plans broken and changed, as well as her heart.
He cheated on her. They’re 18, shit happens, she’ll get over it but he should pay for what he committed to and not leave her high and dry.
I think she will cut her losses, cancel and get no refund but get him to pay his half, at least then she gets something. She’s still down £600.

He committed to half the cost of the holiday. He's now fulfilling that commitment by offering half of the cost of the holiday. I'm sorry OP, I understand that you feel protective of your daughter but he is being reasonable.

Bananarama21 · 07/06/2022 10:11

Why can't you go with her and gave her the 600 then you both have a holiday together? Seems to most logical thing to do.

sjxoxo · 07/06/2022 10:11

In your position I’d go with her and add her best friend in and make a great time of it. He’s behaved quite reasonably I think but I’d go on that holiday and have a bloody great time with your daughter Xo

Manekinek0 · 07/06/2022 10:16

He is being unreasonable but honestly I think £600 is a cheap lesson learned.

I have friends who have been left scrambling to find lodgers after break up because they took on unaffordable tenancies solely in their name. I was left in mountains of debt after a DV relationship where there was always a reason to why the bills had to be in my name.

Hopefully she can find a friend to go with, minimise the loses and have an amazing summer.

pixie5121 · 07/06/2022 10:18

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 07/06/2022 10:09

He committed to half the cost of the holiday. He's now fulfilling that commitment by offering half of the cost of the holiday. I'm sorry OP, I understand that you feel protective of your daughter but he is being reasonable.

Show quote history

But he's not. If he only pays his half, she loses £600 and a holiday if she can't find anyone else to go. On what planet is that reasonable?

You agree to go on holiday with someone, you pay for it. You either reimburse them the entire cost of the holiday if pulling out means they can no longer go either, or you pay your half and someone else goes. It's not 'paying for someone's free holiday', when said person might well not have chosen to go on that holiday normally. They still have to use up annual leave and pay for food cancel other plans...why should they have to pay full whack for flights and accommodation on top of that because some selfish arse landed their mate in the lurch?

I was supposed to go to France with a friend this week and had to cancel because of an urgent hospital appointment. Totally 100% not my fault and obviously I'm really upset about it, but it's not my friend's fault either. I've transferred her my half of the transport and accommodation and she's taking her mum. Her mum couldn't have afforded it and wouldn't have chosen it herself, but since the main costs are covered, it's an attractive option now. This is the only reasonable thing to do.

maddy68 · 07/06/2022 10:18

Another one thinking he's taking a reasonable and fair approach to this?

WouldBeGood · 07/06/2022 10:20

Late to the thread, but her share might be covered by travel insurance?

Sallypally0 · 07/06/2022 10:20

She’ll get no money back if she cancels, she’d be down £600 at least

They will both be down £600

His financial liablity (morally if not legally) for the holiday is half of the £1,200. He should not have to stump up the admin charges if she takes somebody else.

He has given her two options and they are both very reasonable.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/06/2022 10:21

Livelovebehappy · 06/06/2022 22:17

My daughter has split with her bf, and same situation - holiday to Marrakech booked the week after my DH and I return from a cruise. I’ve stepped in to go with her, and paying her ex for his ticket. Problem is I guess there’s another £200 to pay on top for a name change, which is extortionate, so any friend that goes with your dd will need to pay £800 in total which is a big ask.

In this situation to lose the least money - I suspect the daughter /fam would have to largely subsidise the name change...

If I was a pal interested in going I wouldn't be wanting to pay the original cost of holiday PLUS the 200£ name change... 🙄🤔

pixie5121 · 07/06/2022 10:22

KettrickenSmiled · 07/06/2022 10:01

Ah, another Cheeky Fucker.

Because she paid FOR HIM in good faith, & he changed his mind.

If you were my colleague, & I asked you to buy me a sandwich because I was working through lunchtime, how would you feel if you put it on my desk, & I asked you to take it away because I'd changed my mind, & won't be reimbursing you?

Now multiply that cost by 300.
Still think it's reasonable - now it's costing YOU?

Show quote history

Yes, exactly! It blows my mind that anyone thinks this is OK.

It's like asking a colleague to do you a favour and buy you a sandwich, they buy you one and then you say "oh I don't want it anymore, you'll have to give it to someone else and get the money from them." Why would another random colleague pay full price for a sandwich they didn't ask for and don't want? They might be happy to eat it if it were free, but they don't want to pay £4 for it. If they'd wanted that, they'd have bought their own sandwich.