Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Daughter’s break-up and holiday nightmare

307 replies

LockdownBride · 06/06/2022 18:59

Hello,
My daughter was 18 in February, had been with her BF for 18 mths and they booked a holiday together for after their A-level exams in Greece.
DD paid for the trip upfront and he was going to pay her back, she had £4K child trust fund on her birthday. The holiday was £1200.
He ended it two weeks ago, right before her first exam and we are just beginning to see the light and get angry.
He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.
I think this is unreasonable as she will have to find someone to go with, pay transfer fees for a name change all at short notice.
If she cancels, she wouldn’t get a refund.
the holiday is booked with LoveHoliday.com

Any ideas or suggestions on her rights, if any, would be great 😬

OP posts:
lovesweetlovesweet · 07/06/2022 06:56

IssaBaby · 06/06/2022 19:59

If she cancels they will still both be out of pocket by 600? Not just your DD.
I actually don't see the issue.

How can you not see the issue? If he had paid her in the first place she would still have the £600 she was owed and then if she found someone to go with her (not very likely) could have gone away still.
He was the one who decided to split. It should me on him to sort this mess out.

GandTfortea · 07/06/2022 06:57

How is that a nightmare,relationships end all the time
boyfriend has the right to end the relationship for any reason he chooses ,and he’s being perfectly reasonable about the holiday
would you want him to stay with your daughter when he didn’t want to?

Robinni · 07/06/2022 07:00

What a dick to cheat on her and end it just before her A levels!! I hope she’s ok.

I think he is being reasonable with regard to the holiday - if she goes with someone else they should pay their half. Name change fees aren’t that much and she can split the cost of that with whoever she goes with.

All this sentimentality over it being “somewhere they chose to go together” is silly. She deserves to celebrate and she will have a fantastic time without him - I have been in this situation as have other friends and in all cases holidays went ahead and were brilliant with friends instead of Bf!!

Surely she has a friend who could go with her? Could you subsidise the friend to go as as an end of a levels gift?

speakout · 07/06/2022 07:15

I would go with her.

balalake · 07/06/2022 07:15

Nightmare? Get a grip please.

Find a friend to go with her as suggested. Given his bad timing, perhaps better to find out his true colours now than a lot later.

speakout · 07/06/2022 07:16

Sorry I have to agre- this is far from a "nightmare".

girlmom21 · 07/06/2022 07:17

@rookiemere but they will do name changes or allow her to rearrange the holiday quite often

Lovemusic33 · 07/06/2022 07:21

Sadly relationships end all the time, especially at that age. I don’t think it’s a nightmare but I can see why your dd is upset. I don’t think he should have to pay if someone else goes with her. Could you go with her if she can’t find anyone else? I think the ex bf is being reasonable.

Riverlee · 07/06/2022 07:24

Did they have any travel insurance? Would they be able to claim through this?

rookiemere · 07/06/2022 07:29

It's disinclination to travel as both parties are fit and well, no travel insurance will cover that.

erinaceus · 07/06/2022 07:45
  • Ask him to split the cost of the name change as well (he might not have thought of that), or
  • Sell her place to him instead if he has a friend he would like to go with, ask him for all of the money.
Abbaloverandmum · 07/06/2022 07:45

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 06/06/2022 20:26

It's reading a bit like that. He's allowed to break up with her OP. It sucks but it's better to do it before rather than on the holiday. I'd either go with her or see if she can find a friend to go.

Show quote history

Yes I have a friend who broke up whilst actually in Spain on holiday. Left her high and dry and to fly back herself. What a nasty thing to do.

HailAdrian · 07/06/2022 07:48

It may not be a 'nightmare' to you but I'm sure it really does to OP's daughter. I think she should cut her losses, take someone else and not rely on her cheating, scummy ex for anything. I don't think she'll regret going, it could be an amazing experience.

ToastedBunny · 07/06/2022 07:49

@LockdownBride i disagree with those saying that the ex is being reasonable. Why on earth should he get more favourable cancellation terms than the daughter? If he’d honoured the original financial commitment and paid his half then he’d be begging the DD now to find someone else and would take the hit on the name change.

He’s being an unreasonable arse to behave as though he has the upper hand and gets to dictate anything. Why should he be rewarded for not paying his bill on time?

The only reason he’d get the full £600 is if everyone makes a compromise except him ! ( The new friend by accepting a last minute holiday at full price and DD by paying the name change).
How is that fair?

You haven’t had much sympathy for your poor DD’s situation re the exams. I really hope she’s okay.

rookiemere · 07/06/2022 07:54

I googled Love Holiday and the name change needs to be done through the airline so it depends on who that is and what they charge.

LumpyandBumps · 07/06/2022 07:54

I feel very sorry for your daughter.
Do you realistically think the ex BF will pay anything? The holiday has been booked for around 4 months and he hasn’t paid yet?
The ex isn’t being reasonable in that he is putting all the responsibility on your daughter, and saying he will pay nothing if she finds someone else to take. It is likely that there will be costs involved in the name transfer, etc.
I doubt, however, that he will become any more reasonable or responsible as time goes by.
I think her best option is to tell him it is cancelled, get any money he is willing to pay now, and if all else fails, and she is brave enough, go on holiday alone.

Abbaloverandmum · 07/06/2022 07:59

RubricEnemy · 07/06/2022 05:57

Alternately, she goes to Greece by herself. Is it all inclusive? She'll have a great time!

l woudn't go alone. Maybe she wouldn't want to either.

Hillary17 · 07/06/2022 08:07

As unfortunate as it is, she just needs to find a friend to go with her that’s willing to pay the charges to change the names. Go and have a great time! The money is a goner and I don’t think he’s responsible for paying any of it. She should absolutely go on the holiday though, it’ll be great for her!

lapasion · 07/06/2022 08:10

I agree it’ll be difficult to find someone her age who has the cash. Can one of her friends go and pay half plus the name transfer? That way she’d get the holiday and only be down £300 or so. It’s still annoying to lose that money but it’s a good life lesson.

SheSaysShush · 07/06/2022 08:10

Did he pay her back?

He clearly doesn't want her to go on the holiday without him.

He is being unreasonable if he hasn't paid her back. The holiday belongs to your daughter.

Sswhinesthebest · 07/06/2022 08:17

Get the £600 then decide. But he should be paid back if she gets someone to go with her - minus the transfer fees.

icelollycraving · 07/06/2022 08:17

If he didn’t have the money when they were together, he’s unlikely to give it to her now they’ve split up.

Pluvia · 07/06/2022 08:18

If he was my son, he'd be offering to pay for his half of the holiday plus the admin fees involved in any transfer of names etc. I'd be really appalled that he cheated on his girlfriend and dumped her just before her A levels. I think that's a really shit thing to do and he would know it. You don't behave like that, even when you're 18.

Useful lesson for your daughter, OP. Money up front before booking, every time. If I were you unless a good friend is available to go, I'd go on the holiday with her and make sure she has a good time despite him.

Pluvia · 07/06/2022 08:20

How much are the fees involved? Small Claims Court might be a good way of getting him to pay up. He entered into a contract with her and now he's broken it. He will need to pay.

rookiemere · 07/06/2022 08:23

@Pluvia but he has offered to pay his half if the holiday is cancelled. If another person goes he quite rightly expects them to pay.
If he was a gentleman he might have offered to pay for a name change but legally I can't see he would be obligated to do it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread