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Original poster

ExH wants DD phone back with all the information including messages, emails and WhatsApp access. Can he ask for this?

224 replies

hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 22:19

I need help with the legal side of who owns the information that a mobile phone contains. ExH refused to pick DD up from her holiday with us. He has email me saying that DD lives with me from now on. This is a different subject but I think it is important for a bit of background.

DD has a phone contract that her dad pays, tonight he has called and said that as DD isn't using her phone anymore, contract is on his name and he pays for it, he expects the phone to go back to him with all the data, as he has called it, intact so he can have access to her email, messages, contact numbers and WhatsApp messages. He also expects access to any social media that she has.

My understanding is that all the information he is requesting is personal and that he should not have access to it. His argument is that as he pays for the phone contract and it is on his name, becayse DD is a minor, everything belongs to him and he expects me to send him the phone with access to everything.

Is this correct? Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
ShaneTheThird · 11/01/2022 22:48

Oh god op factory reset asap and send it back recorded delivery so he can't claim he never got it. Protect poor dad from him at all costs. Hope she's ok.

ShaneTheThird · 11/01/2022 22:48

Poor dd*

saraclara · 11/01/2022 22:50

Why did he refuse to pick her up, and why is she now only going to live with you?

BlueSky8 · 11/01/2022 22:51

On the email he says I should not reset it to factory settings

Still doesn't meant you can't op.

I want, doesn't always get Wink

Reset it.

GoldSilverGlimmer · 11/01/2022 22:52

Wipe her phone, definitely don’t give it back as it is, giving him access to all her friends and social media, where he could impersonate and interact “as her”, that really would be a problem.

Just wipe and return

GoldSilverGlimmer · 11/01/2022 22:53

Factory reset and delete all data.

PurpleSweetPeas · 11/01/2022 22:53

@Brenna24

Whoops. It is a shame that you reset it back to factory settings when you bought her a new phone. Had you known earlier then you could have discussed it. Wink
This is perfect!
ImInStealthMode · 11/01/2022 22:54

Is there a river near you, preferably fast flowing? Accidentally drop it in.

He didn't insure it?? Silly him! Shame.

TracyMosby · 11/01/2022 22:55

he may want to delete things he thinks incriminate him if there were safeguarding concerns
This is what i thought too. Could this be the case?

If not factory settings. But i wouldn't be sending it to him. If he wants it he can get it himself.

NorthSouthcatlady · 11/01/2022 22:56

Ignore ignore ignore. It’s clear from the information you have provided how entitled and controlling he is. He can fuck off. I can see why he’s an ex

PatchworkElmer · 11/01/2022 22:56

Just tell him you wiped it before receiving his email.

titchy · 11/01/2022 22:56

As others have said restore factory settings. If there are safeguarding issues with his parenting then for you to allow him full access to all her data would be a massive safeguarding fail on your part.

Redglitter · 11/01/2022 22:57

On the email he says I should not reset it to factory settings

In thar case you definitely should!!

Hes has no right to her stuff. That's personal. No wonder he's your ex

gamerchick · 11/01/2022 23:00

Could it be that is exactly what he wants you to do..to wipe the phone yourself to delete anything incriminating on it?

Siepie · 11/01/2022 23:00

Screenshot or back up to the computer anything that could potentially incriminate him, in case you/DD need it later.

Then factory reset the phone before returning it.

urbanbuddha · 11/01/2022 23:01

Reading the link above if your DD is 12 (Scotland) or competent (rest of UK and presumed to be 12ish) it's DD's decision what to do with her data. The phone might be his but the data is hers. So if your DD doesn't want her father to have access to her email, messages, contact numbers and WhatsApp messages and any social media that she has, then he can't have it. Ask her and, assuming she says "no", then just restore it to factory settings. You don't have to tell him it was her call but you'll be on the right side of the law.

Original poster
hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 23:01

Saraclara

Why did he refuse to pick her up, and why is she now only going to live with you?

The point isn't why he refused to pick her up or why she is only going to live with me. It is an 11 years story that I am not going to into details right now. My need for advice is about her phone and I only need to make sure that reseting to factory settings will not damage our possibilities to break free from him, both DD and myself. If you just want some gossip, this is not the post for it. Thank you.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 11/01/2022 23:02

Stop stop stop!!

Does restoring it to factory settings irretrievably wipe all the data?

If so, is this actually a double bluff. If this is a safeguarding issue, is it at all a possibility that he might even be getting you to do the dirty work deleting something incriminating?

Any social media/email etc is fine as that’s stored elsewhere. But DON’T wipe this phone until you’re sure you have backups of photos, WhatsApp, text messages etc if there’s any hint of concern around them.

The only time I think a lawyer would be at all interested in you wiping phone would be if you’ve destroyed evidence.

AlternativePerspective · 11/01/2022 23:03

I wouldn’t damage it, as tempting as it would be. As it’s his property he potentially could take legal action over damage to the actual phone. So I would just reset the factory settings and return it to him. He. Literally has no legal recourse.

TBH I would check it first to see if there is anything incriminating on it, and would screenshot any of it.

Thenose · 11/01/2022 23:03

He can ask, yes, but you don't have to bloody give it to him. It sounds like he's likely to cause mischief with it/use it against her. Wipe it. There's nothing he can do.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 11/01/2022 23:03

Her school had to contact social services so there are some safeguarding concerns from when DD lived with him. Probably that's why she is with me now

Probably? You don't know? He has washed his hands of her and what happens next? If you delete the data you also delete any evidence that he has been negligent; or your DD has been abused/groomed/harassed at school etc etc. Did the school report an issue to social services? Are you discussing with your solicitor what happens next if this is a formal change?

If her email account is shared off his iPhone account he can remotely wipe the phone anyway if it was set up. He can also access her emails and edit. Can't speak for other tech.

Original poster
hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 23:04

Thank you everyone for the advice. I believe resetting to factory settings is the way forward after transferring everything to the new phone. I will have to get the new cables tomorrow to transfer everything Smile

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 11/01/2022 23:06

Why was she living with him?

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 11/01/2022 23:06

I would remove everything from it to an external hard drive (or similar) and only then would I factory reset and return it. Just in case you need anything that was on it as evidence later.

Teaandcakeordeath83 · 11/01/2022 23:08

Please make sure you somehow save whatever is on the phone before you factory reset. If there's evidence on it that he wants either rid of or access to then I assume it is also information that could potentially be useful to you and your dd in keeping him away/ aiding in the safeguarding investigations.