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Original poster

ExH wants DD phone back with all the information including messages, emails and WhatsApp access. Can he ask for this?

224 replies

hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 22:19

I need help with the legal side of who owns the information that a mobile phone contains. ExH refused to pick DD up from her holiday with us. He has email me saying that DD lives with me from now on. This is a different subject but I think it is important for a bit of background.

DD has a phone contract that her dad pays, tonight he has called and said that as DD isn't using her phone anymore, contract is on his name and he pays for it, he expects the phone to go back to him with all the data, as he has called it, intact so he can have access to her email, messages, contact numbers and WhatsApp messages. He also expects access to any social media that she has.

My understanding is that all the information he is requesting is personal and that he should not have access to it. His argument is that as he pays for the phone contract and it is on his name, becayse DD is a minor, everything belongs to him and he expects me to send him the phone with access to everything.

Is this correct? Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
Mariposista · 12/01/2022 00:02

How vile. Feel sorry for your poor daughter. What a bully

NotAGirl · 12/01/2022 00:23

Just a thought, he may be saying you are not to factory reset the phone to get you to do just that. If there is potential evidence on the phone of him mistreating your daughter that might be needed in court engage a computer forensics expert to copy the data such that dates etc are preserved before the phone is wiped.

Flowers Your poor daughter.

mellicauli · 12/01/2022 00:28

Give it to the solicitor for safekeeping while the legal case is ongoing. This keeps the data safe and he won't come round trying to get it off you if he thinks it will incriminate him.

greyinganddecaying · 12/01/2022 00:32

Definitely back everything up & check it's there on her new phone.

Before factory reset you need to log out of all accounts, preferably change password, delete apps (I also deleted all texts, contacts, messages) etc to make sure he can't access anything.

IGiveUpalready · 12/01/2022 00:34

What kind of phone is it? Can you buy a replica off of ebay and send that back (with another SIM)

GrannytoaUnicorn · 12/01/2022 00:35

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea

Just get her a new sim for her phone and ignore him.
He could still have the device itself blocked. The network operator will have the IMEI code which is unique to the device. If he reports it as 'stolen' they will immediately permanently block it, rendering it completely unusable in any way at all. Won't even switch on. They do this anyway, even if the customer doesn't specifically request it
TragicallyUnbeyachted · 12/01/2022 00:37

@hereagain99

Sorry if I have offended anyone, it was not my intention. I am aware of other legal issues in my daughter's case and we are working together, my DD and I, to ensure that we do things properly so we can put an end to this horrible situation.

I am gathering as much evidence as possible to prove everything that is happening and this includes her phone contents.

Thank you again all of you for your help and advice

If the contents of the phone may be important to an investigation or a legal case, don't factory reset it without talking to a lawyer/the police/social services/whoever is appropriate (but also don't give it back to him, obviously)
GrannytoaUnicorn · 12/01/2022 00:39

@DropYourSword

Stop stop stop!!

Does restoring it to factory settings irretrievably wipe all the data?

If so, is this actually a double bluff. If this is a safeguarding issue, is it at all a possibility that he might even be getting you to do the dirty work deleting something incriminating?

Any social media/email etc is fine as that’s stored elsewhere. But DON’T wipe this phone until you’re sure you have backups of photos, WhatsApp, text messages etc if there’s any hint of concern around them.

The only time I think a lawyer would be at all interested in you wiping phone would be if you’ve destroyed evidence.

This
SeaToSki · 12/01/2022 00:58

I have no idea of any of the legalities, but could you tell him that you dont have the phone as DD gave it to her case worker at Social Services and he should ask them for it back?

Before you tell him, get a professional to copy everything on the phone to a back up in your name, then also get DD stuff she wants transferred to her new phone. Then hand the phone over to the case worker with everything still intact. Then have DD change all her passwords so if he does delete stuff its just the copy on the phone and the originals are all preserved. Then if he tries anything shady, you can just ta da the originals and hoist him by his own petard.

saraclara · 12/01/2022 01:02

I think you need professional advice. If this could be evidence, simply downloading it from the phone might remove the proof that it ever WAS there. Once it's just saved onto a computer or onto a different SIM, it could remove the link to the phone rendering it useless as evidence.

To be honest, I don't have a clue. I just think you need expert advice on how to go about this without removing some kind of evidence or link to him.

SandyPanda · 12/01/2022 01:08

You really need to find out what's happening - no probably and don't do anything until you know if there's content on the phone that he needs for some reason

gsaoej · 12/01/2022 01:12

What an idiot he sounds.

A phone is a piece of hardware. Restoring it to factory settings does nothing to the value of it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/01/2022 01:27

You're modeling good boundaries to her (and us Grin) by doing what you think is right.

The data will,still be there if he's in the right, which he's not.

Frannibananni · 12/01/2022 01:29

Factory reset, no explanation needed. If he insists on a explanation here it is - he can go fuck himself he is a shitty person and a terrible father.
Tbh I would do a reset, get her a new phone and plan etc and not go out of my way to give the old one back. He can come get it.

newnamenewyear · 12/01/2022 01:41

Do make sure you transfer it all over, including Whatsapp messages and texts in case there's something incriminating there.

(Whatsapp can be a bugger to transfer in my experience).

Maxiedog123 · 12/01/2022 01:47

If SS is involved, perhaps you should be giving the phone to them

Bollindger · 12/01/2022 01:56

He wants something off that phone.
Info on DDs private life if he can, which he will use against you.
Do not offer it back to him.
Turn off the data, and the Internet on it. Remove the SIM.
Then just bag it up and leave to run out of battery.
Let him try suing a minor, he will be laughed out of court.

FortunesFave · 12/01/2022 01:57

You sound oddly uninformed....what do you mean about social services getting involved and "that's probably why she's with me"

I mean....you're her Mother...you'd know exactly why she's suddenly with you!

Either way...of course the data is not his. You don't say her age but as her parent, even if she's under 16, you can control her data just as much as he can. It's not his even if the phone is ....delete it all. Even better, change ALL her passwords or make new accounts for her with a new email so he can't hack her accounts.

caringcarer · 12/01/2022 02:04

He might like to order you and dd about, but you are separated and don't have to listen to him. He is a bully and total control freak. Your dd will be far happier living with you.

StruggleStreet · 12/01/2022 03:23

If it’s an iPhone I think you also need to sign out of iCloud/AppleID before doing the factory reset

MuesliNameChange · 12/01/2022 03:53

OP I'd be very hesitant to do anything with the phone without talking to your solicitor or caseworker. The people advising you here aren't legal experts. Make sure you show your solicitor the messages where your ex asks for the phone and all the data, and also tell them all the background about SS and safeguarding concerns. Tell them your plan is to transfer and copy all the data and then wipe the phone and give it back to him, and ask if there is anything else/different you should be doing.

Shmithecat2 · 12/01/2022 03:55

@BoobsOnTheMoon

What a fucking twat.

Restore the phone to factory settings and return it to him. He's delusional and controlling to think he has any right to the data!

This.
Palavah · 12/01/2022 04:01

@MuesliNameChange

OP I'd be very hesitant to do anything with the phone without talking to your solicitor or caseworker. The people advising you here aren't legal experts. Make sure you show your solicitor the messages where your ex asks for the phone and all the data, and also tell them all the background about SS and safeguarding concerns. Tell them your plan is to transfer and copy all the data and then wipe the phone and give it back to him, and ask if there is anything else/different you should be doing.
THIS.

If there is any CSA on that phone then you should not be transferring any data - you'd be potentially incriminating yourself.

Take legal advice, and /or hand the phone to the safeguarding lead for safekeeping.

Nat6999 · 12/01/2022 04:12

If it is Samsung, use the app to transfer everything across to her new phone, then do a copy from the old phone to a laptop or hard drive before wiping the old phone.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/01/2022 04:27

Why do you have to return the phone at all? Seeing as he is the contract holder of the phone, your ex may be able to retrieve data from it. I imagine on handing over the phone to your dd, he didn’t say, this is my extra phone that I’m allowing you to use. I therefore would think he gave your dd the phone. In any case, you should get professional advice quickly on how to store any incriminating data.