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Original poster

ExH wants DD phone back with all the information including messages, emails and WhatsApp access. Can he ask for this?

224 replies

hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 22:19

I need help with the legal side of who owns the information that a mobile phone contains. ExH refused to pick DD up from her holiday with us. He has email me saying that DD lives with me from now on. This is a different subject but I think it is important for a bit of background.

DD has a phone contract that her dad pays, tonight he has called and said that as DD isn't using her phone anymore, contract is on his name and he pays for it, he expects the phone to go back to him with all the data, as he has called it, intact so he can have access to her email, messages, contact numbers and WhatsApp messages. He also expects access to any social media that she has.

My understanding is that all the information he is requesting is personal and that he should not have access to it. His argument is that as he pays for the phone contract and it is on his name, becayse DD is a minor, everything belongs to him and he expects me to send him the phone with access to everything.

Is this correct? Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 12/01/2022 07:48

Since there is an ongoing case I wouldn't return the phone or restore it to factory settings.

Perhaps say to him her phone has been / will be handed over to social services as part of the ongoing investigation and you are sure they will return it in due course.

Better still, get proper advice from those on the case about what to do. There's a reason he wants that phone so badly and it may be important he doesn't get it.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/01/2022 07:53

Backup the phone before any reset. He doesn't need to know and if you need the information in future there is potential to recover it.

You can't give more info here, but I would check in with someone who does have the details of your case (unless this is just part of a long pattern of controlling behaviour). Is it at all possible he is trying to cover up evidence of wrong doing rather than just harrass?

C8H10N4O2 · 12/01/2022 07:55

Oh also reset any passwords, make sure nobody is using the number for DD.

newnamenewyear · 12/01/2022 07:55

@IncompleteSenten

Since there is an ongoing case I wouldn't return the phone or restore it to factory settings.

Perhaps say to him her phone has been / will be handed over to social services as part of the ongoing investigation and you are sure they will return it in due course.

Better still, get proper advice from those on the case about what to do. There's a reason he wants that phone so badly and it may be important he doesn't get it.

This is good advice. I'd worry that it might not be possible to back up everything on the phone. I've lost all my Whatsapp messages before, when tranferring to a new phone, despite using their back up process.

And I don't know how you back up text messages?

PinkTonic · 12/01/2022 08:00

You need to speak with your caseworker at social services or even your lawyer if you have one regarding this matter for advice

This. Not random people on MN who have no clue of the background.

Based on what you’ve said, why is he contacting you directly and why are you giving any credence to what he says? The whole situation sounds off to me, but appreciate that may be because of lack of background for valid reasons. That said it’s not appropriate for strangers here to be giving advice on wiping the device. You have access to professional support.

Ireallymustgetup · 12/01/2022 08:02

I would also check he doesn’t still have access to anything via googlephotos (my ex still has sharing set up to me), one drive etc

LookItsMeAgain · 12/01/2022 08:07

My advice would be to counter his request for the phone back and unwiped by saying that as she hasn't been using that phone, you no longer know where the handset/SIM is and your DD is not using the phone so if he wants to cancel the contract he is free to do so.
That way, he could cancel the SIM and unless he actually knows the IMEI (unique identifier for the handset) he can't block that but the data remains on the handset and you hang on to the handset.
Or you could say that your DD got the handset wet and it's rendered it useless so you got rid of it meaning that you've nothing to hand back. Then just store the handset in a drawer and carry on as you're doing.

Moneypennysfreedomfund · 12/01/2022 08:08

I wouldn’t wipe anything or hand the phone over in case there is data which is needed later on re safeguarding. I’d get her a new phone, store the old one and ask him to get a court order. I’m smelling a rat here. If he’s playing the I’m the parent I want to check the phone simply say you will check it if you feel it is necessary. Was checking the phone pre agreed with your DD?

How has your daughter reacted to your ex wanting the phone back,? I cannot believe any youngster would be wildly happy about it.

I wouldn’t damage the phone.

StrifeOfBath · 12/01/2022 08:17

Sorry OP, if SS have been involved and there are legal issues, I think you should be asking SS and your solicitor this, not MN.

Especially if the phone contains evidence.

If you have already reset the phone I would just say ‘oh sorry, already wiped it when Dd got a new phone’.

But ask the professionals, who DO know the whole story, not MN.

Good luck, it sounds a horrible situation.

LadyPenelope68 · 12/01/2022 08:18

@hereagain99
DD already has a new phone, ExH doesn't have the new number to protect her.
That helps then, restore to factory settings and tell him she deleted info/transferred info ages ago when she got her new phone. It just say she deleted it all long before ge asked for the phone back.

BertramLacey · 12/01/2022 08:19

I am gathering as much evidence as possible to prove everything that is happening and this includes her phone contents.

That's a good idea. If someone wants possession of data, or wants data wiped, the first question should be, what does that data reveal about them that they don't want you to know?

Good luck OP. I hope it works out for you. It sounds like a horrible situation.

BeardyButton · 12/01/2022 08:20

If you can afford it - pay for a solicitors letter and send back with phone (back to factory settings). Have the solicitor explicitly set out the law and say that you have made copies of all relevant information from phone.

Bullies only react to strength.

RabitWhole · 12/01/2022 08:26

He pays for the line rental and the physical handset. That does not mean he 'owns' any of the data contained on the phone and cannot demand access to it.

ScrambledEggForBrains · 12/01/2022 08:32

If the phone is an Iphone make sure you change all passwords. I’ve wiped my old iPad, however when I signed into iTunes on my new iPad it restored everything including contacts and photos!

Beautiful3 · 12/01/2022 08:37

I don't care what he says, that is a violation of her privacy. I would reset it, so it's completely wiped and return it. I'd ignore further correspondence.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/01/2022 08:41

I agree with those saying to speak to SS and/or police about this. Do take random advice from MN where people have no real knowledge about the situation you have found yourselves in.

In the meantime…Ensure your DD changes ALL her passwords to every account. Also to change her method of account check to her new phone number. I’d also get her a new email address and use that for all her Facebook/Snapchat back ups/identity checks.

Good 🍀 luck

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/01/2022 08:42

Do NOT take random advice that should read

DeerMyDear · 12/01/2022 08:49

She all passwords, removed all apps, wipe all internet history.

And then send the phone back. He does own the phone. He doesn’t own access to her accounts.

notacooldad · 12/01/2022 08:49

Thank you everyone for the advice. I believe resetting to factory settings is the way forward after transferring everything to the new phone. I will have to get the new cables tomorrow to transfer everything smile
I would do, as others suggested, a recorded delivery to cover yourself..

tintodeverano2 · 12/01/2022 08:50

@GalaxyPostcard

In your situation I'd be doing nothing (wiping it or sending it back), until you've spoken with the social worker or safeguarding team involved in her case.
Yes I agree with this - even if they don't need to see the phone, it will be on record that he wants access to all of her data.
VeganVampire · 12/01/2022 08:54

Buy a secondhand phone (same model) and give him that one instead. He can't complain that he's out of pocket.

Dahliasrule · 12/01/2022 08:57

If the phone has all her contacts on it, it would be a breach of data protection laws. Her contacts have not given their permission for hi to have that info.

dwengo · 12/01/2022 08:59

Hi, from a legal point of view, he has no right to access personal data. The only person who has rights to it is the Data Controller

That would be either the DD or depending on the age, her guardian, which based on your first paragraph, would be you.

So legally speaking I would not worry about his demands, just politely decline.

All data stored on the phone belongs to DD or guardian.

If he wants it back, I would recommend factory resetting the phone and clearing the sim card of any data.

ArrrMeHearties · 12/01/2022 08:59

Reset the phone to factory settings and give it back to him. He can't do anything with a wiped phone now can he

SolasAnla · 12/01/2022 09:03

@hereagain99

On the email he says I should not reset it to factory settings. Her school had to contact social services so there are some safeguarding concerns from when DD lived with him. Probably that's why she is with me now.

Some of you have clearly seen which kind of person he is. That's why I need to make sure that if I reset it to factory setting, which was my first thought, he cannot legally prosecute me for interfering on a phone that has his name although DD uses it.

DD already has a new phone, ExH doesn't have the new number to protect her.

What age is your child?

Don't do anything yet and contact the school.
Find out why the school want SS involved. If it is a case that your child was using the phone for something she should not have been doing you need to be made aware. And you will need to deal with it within your home.

If it's something he has done you risk destroying 'independent' evidence. If it is something which should result in him not seeing your daughter, SS may take a dim view of removing the data if it puts your child at risk.