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Original poster

ExH wants DD phone back with all the information including messages, emails and WhatsApp access. Can he ask for this?

224 replies

hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 22:19

I need help with the legal side of who owns the information that a mobile phone contains. ExH refused to pick DD up from her holiday with us. He has email me saying that DD lives with me from now on. This is a different subject but I think it is important for a bit of background.

DD has a phone contract that her dad pays, tonight he has called and said that as DD isn't using her phone anymore, contract is on his name and he pays for it, he expects the phone to go back to him with all the data, as he has called it, intact so he can have access to her email, messages, contact numbers and WhatsApp messages. He also expects access to any social media that she has.

My understanding is that all the information he is requesting is personal and that he should not have access to it. His argument is that as he pays for the phone contract and it is on his name, becayse DD is a minor, everything belongs to him and he expects me to send him the phone with access to everything.

Is this correct? Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
Fluenty · 11/01/2022 23:08

@saraclara

Why did he refuse to pick her up, and why is she now only going to live with you?
This. After ss got involved And she needed a new phone and number to protect her from her dad

she was still going to him and it was up to him to decide you should keep her?

I don’t get the time line here
Or why you wouldn’t just wipe the phone
What’s he realistically going to do? A child reset a phone they’re no longer using? A parent ‘accidentally’ reset a phone when helping their child transfer to a new phone
These are quite clearly not criminal issues

Original poster
hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 23:21

I know some of you may want all the background information but my question is only about the phone and the data it contains. Everything else I will not discuss it, sorry.

There are lots of issues and the welfare of DD is paramount to me.

Thank you for the advice on the phone matter

OP posts:
Backtomyoldname · 11/01/2022 23:24

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

I would remove everything from it to an external hard drive (or similar) and only then would I factory reset and return it. Just in case you need anything that was on it as evidence later.
This.

You/your DD may need to information be needed for child protection issues from the past/in the future.

Then wipe the phone - blame it on people in the shop where you got the new phone from ‘a misunderstanding’

Help DD lock down her social media so that he can’t pry/view/cause upset.

Teenagehorrorbag · 11/01/2022 23:29

I agree with a couple of other PPs that you should NOT wipe the phone until you've checked what it is he's concerned about. It sounds highly likely there is something he's worried about, and he wants you to wipe it.

Once you've had a thorough check - then wipe and return.

Don't try the 'fell in the loo' story. I dropped my Samsung in a fast flowing stream for 2 hours and it was absolutely fine. I think modern phones (3 yrs old...Grin) are a lot more robust than they used to be.....

ludocris · 11/01/2022 23:30

Just a note to bear in mind (in case you aren't already aware) that even if you reset to factory settings, some things like messages, photos etc will be in the 'cloud' and could be downloaded again. Equally WhatsApp is a cloud-based service I believe, so with knowledge of the right personal information, I believe that the message history could be downloaded even if it's wiped from the phone.

I think it can all still be deleted somehow (Google will probably tell you how), just be aware that just because it's been deleted from the phone, it doesn't mean that the data is no longer accessible.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 11/01/2022 23:33

Also.. make sure to change all her passwords and log out of all devices. Otherwise he would still have access from (for example) his home computer if she previously logged in on that.

saraclara · 11/01/2022 23:34

@hereagain99

Saraclara

Why did he refuse to pick her up, and why is she now only going to live with you?

The point isn't why he refused to pick her up or why she is only going to live with me. It is an 11 years story that I am not going to into details right now. My need for advice is about her phone and I only need to make sure that reseting to factory settings will not damage our possibilities to break free from him, both DD and myself. If you just want some gossip, this is not the post for it. Thank you.

For the record, I'm not a gossip. I simply thought that the reason for that might give some hint as to why he wants you to do this and whether you should/legally can.
Fluenty · 11/01/2022 23:36

@hereagain99 it’s not that we want all the background info
It’s that those are alarming things you said.
And the way you passed over them implied you had no idea how awful they sounded.

Good luck with your dds phone and the whole situation

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 11/01/2022 23:37

It might be a good idea to ask whoever is handling safeguarding whether they need to see anything on your dd's phone before deleting things.

It all sounds so complicated for you both - hopefully it will all be settled soon for you.

GalaxyPostcard · 11/01/2022 23:38

In your situation I'd be doing nothing (wiping it or sending it back), until you've spoken with the social worker or safeguarding team involved in her case.

TheDaydreamBelievers · 11/01/2022 23:38

Back it all up so you and DD have the info if needed in future. Then factory reset and return. He has no legal right to see the data saved on it at all

Thirtytimesround · 11/01/2022 23:40

OP I’m sorry that you’ve had such a horrible person in your life. I hope both you and your daughter are safe now.

He wants the phone either to bully you both, or because there is evidence on it that he wants to destroy (for example deleted photos that he has only just realised may still be in the ‘deleted photos’ folder, or that he wants to recover for his own use). I would be inclined to ignore him and not surrender the phone to him at all, citing safeguarding.

It certainly isn’t a crime for a daughter to keep a gift from her dad even after he changed his mind about it. As to the data, that is hers, and you would be breaching GDPR laws if you pass it to him (as a poster above said).

ArchibaldsDaddy · 11/01/2022 23:41

Erm…control freakery at its finest/worst. My guess is that he’s fishing for intel on what you/she is saying about him.

The content belongs to your DD - the phone itself is simply a vehicle for the media.

If the contract is his, then the phone does belong to him…but the hardware only.

So…in short: Factory reset (easily googled), return, and disengage.

Thirtytimesround · 11/01/2022 23:41

My concern for you is that if you wipe the phone you may destroy evidence. If you back it up I don’t know enough about phones to know if it woukd eg copy all the deleted videos and chats and map movement history records that a phone saves even after they are deleted. But I don’t know if that is an issue.

Lalliella · 11/01/2022 23:41

saraclara isn’t a gossip, she’s a lovely person! It’s just that background information would be useful for us to know whether to suggest you keep everything or delete everything from the phone, and why he might be making this request. I’d save everything just in case then wipe. Have you discussed this with your DD and asked her what’s on her phone that her dad might want?

Freddiefox · 11/01/2022 23:43

I think you need to be a bit careful tbh. If you have social services involved if look to them for advice.

If you wipe it, you could wipe evidence, or look to try to be hiding something.

Ha s you looked through her phone? Is there any thing you can see could cause problems?

BashStreetKid · 11/01/2022 23:45

If there have been safeguarding concerns, it sounds as if you should definitely take a copy of all the data but not allow your ex any access to it. It might be needed as evidence.

Faretheewellmyfairyfay · 11/01/2022 23:47

Personally I'd store it in a safebox (if I could afford that and had access to one near my home) as-is. I wouldn't give it back and I wouldn't delete anything. If he wants the phone, he can go to court for his property (which would probably be seen as a gift anyway). You can argue the toss there (I doubt very much he'll do this and I doubt he'd win if he did.)

I agree he's bluffing. Or double-bluffing and there may be an issue.

I'd get legal advice tbh. And if you do decide to give it back, back up everything that is on the actual phone twice, and the SIM card once (and keep the SIM card too). And keep one copy of this data somewhere safe, outside your home. In my opinion.

Chloemol · 11/01/2022 23:48

Just delete to factory sessions

He doesn’t have the right to have her personal data

If he kicks off share the link up thread to the ICO

Original poster
hereagain99 · 11/01/2022 23:50

Sorry if I have offended anyone, it was not my intention. I am aware of other legal issues in my daughter's case and we are working together, my DD and I, to ensure that we do things properly so we can put an end to this horrible situation.

I am gathering as much evidence as possible to prove everything that is happening and this includes her phone contents.

Thank you again all of you for your help and advice

OP posts:
Wreath21 · 11/01/2022 23:52

Tell him to go fuck himself and that the phone got lost/dropped in a river.
However, have a chat to your DD about what might be on her phone eg any evidence of his mistreatment of her. If she thinks there is any, keep hold of the phone (in a safe place) in case that evidence is needed later.

Obviously there is a lot of backstory here but remember that what this man wants is completely irrelevant and you do not have to obey him (the only thing he could possibly be legally entitled to might be replacement cost of the phone but he has no right to any of the data or information on it. It's worth remembering that no parent has a 'right' to monitor or view a child's social media interactions despite what smug bullies might insist.)

EasterIssland · 11/01/2022 23:53

@Teaandcakeordeath83

Please make sure you somehow save whatever is on the phone before you factory reset. If there's evidence on it that he wants either rid of or access to then I assume it is also information that could potentially be useful to you and your dd in keeping him away/ aiding in the safeguarding investigations.
This. Why does he want to access the info. What could cause him trouble that is in that phone and why does he want it ? Sure if he’s scared of whatever is in that phone he’d allow you factory resetting tho ?

I think you need legal help tho on the next step.
Good luck. Hope everything goes ok for your girl !

HoppingPavlova · 11/01/2022 23:57

Just make sure you get a copy of anything on there that may incriminate him before you wipe it.

JustLyra · 11/01/2022 23:57

@hereagain99

Thank you everyone for the advice. I believe resetting to factory settings is the way forward after transferring everything to the new phone. I will have to get the new cables tomorrow to transfer everything Smile
Do not reset that phone while there is a social service investigation going on

There could be anything on there, and if there isn't he could easily accuse you of wiping it to hide things.

saraclara · 12/01/2022 00:00

@hereagain99

Sorry if I have offended anyone, it was not my intention. I am aware of other legal issues in my daughter's case and we are working together, my DD and I, to ensure that we do things properly so we can put an end to this horrible situation.

I am gathering as much evidence as possible to prove everything that is happening and this includes her phone contents.

Thank you again all of you for your help and advice

Good luck. And I'm sorry that your daughter is going through such tough times.