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Original poster

Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

257 replies

AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:00

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

  • no children.
  • he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
  • based in Scotland although married in England.
  • I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
  • he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/04/2021 16:02

How much equity is in the house please?

Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:08

Hello, I'm not sure of exact details off the top of my head but it'll be around the 50 - 60k mark.

OP posts:
DogsSausages · 29/04/2021 16:12

What a shock, has the house been valued, do you have any joint finances. Would you bbe able to live in uni halls or flatshare if you have no family or friends you could stay with.

Quincie · 29/04/2021 16:13

Speak to a solicitor as this seems complicated - shame your not on the deeds, married in England so maybe you need someone who knows English law, I think you might be entitled to some of his pension so 50k might not be enough.

Quincie · 29/04/2021 16:14

Don't move out - get proper advice first.

Grumpycatsmum · 29/04/2021 16:15

In Scotland he can't just kick you out as you have cohabitation rights.

Palavah · 29/04/2021 16:16

Don't go anywhere yet. Get legal advice.

Also investigate what the uni may be able to offer you.

DogsSausages · 29/04/2021 16:19

I wouldnt just leave the house, uni may have a legal advice department, have you read the Gov info site on divorce in Scotland.

Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:20

@DogsSausages uni halls would be impossible as it's distance study. I don't particularly want to move back to England where I'm originally from, I'd ideally like to stay in Scotland. I agree though, what a shock. Feel a little sick at the thought of all this.

OP posts:
Wuurg · 29/04/2021 16:20

I think you are entitled to something from the house under the Matrimonial Property Act but not 100% sure. If you are in the Highlands I can recommended an excellent solicitor.

clpsmum · 29/04/2021 16:22

I would tell him you'll go as soon as the £50k is in your account tbh

ProseccoThyme · 29/04/2021 16:24

I'd get legal advice - where are you in Scotland? I have a good solicitor who is doing free virtual initial appointments just now. Usually it's about £300. Let me know if you'd like details.

MadMadMadamMim · 29/04/2021 16:24

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

At this point I'd look him straight in the eye and say, Oh, they will be involved, without a doubt. I will NOT be moving out anywhere without taking legal advise on my position and exactly what I'm entitled to, don't worry. This won't be your decision.

Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:25

Thanks all. I don't want to be too outing but I'm in the central belt area.

His idea is that he wants me to decide by the weekend what I will be doing (FFS two days..!!) and then if I don't decide he will be going to a solicitor and in his words "that means you'll get even less".

OP posts:
Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:26

@ProseccoThyme I'm in the Edinburgh area. Happy to pay that if it means I know where I stand.

OP posts:
ProseccoThyme · 29/04/2021 16:26

I'm Edinburgh too - will try to PM you

lanbro · 29/04/2021 16:28

Sounds like he's pushing you to take the lump sum as he knows you're entitled to more, I'd call his bluff

DeclineandFall · 29/04/2021 16:29

Do you know anything about his finances? Does he have cash or investments stashed away or is it just the house? The fact he doesn't want you to see a solicitor strikes me he is pulling a fast one.

DogsSausages · 29/04/2021 16:30

Has he said why he wants a divorce all of a sudden, you can get DIY divorces but I dont think you can take a lump sum with that. Do you have something like citizens advice where you are. What does he plan to do if you refuse to move out and say ok go to the solicitor then.

Rebelwithverysharpclaws · 29/04/2021 16:37

He is one nasty bully trying to get you to agree to something that is very likely not in your best interest. Do not move out, get legal advice. Get hold of and copy his financial docs as soon as possible. He sounds like a cunt.

MunchyCat · 29/04/2021 16:38

What about savings? Do you have a joint account? Does he? Can you try and access his account/look for some paperwork?

If there are no savings anywhere and only 50-60k equity then i think I'd take his offer.

If he has £ squirrelled away however you'd be entitled to a share of that.

breatheinskipthegym · 29/04/2021 16:41

Check whether you’re eligible for Legal Aid. Solicitors’ fees get out of hand very quickly.

StormTreader · 29/04/2021 16:44

Dont you get a share of his pension pot as well if you're married? If hes a high earner then that could be a fair whack on top of the house equity. Plus a share of savings, plus the house equity potentially....

I've never once seen a thread where they say "I involved the lawyers and ended up with less than what he offered", it always seems to be a lot more once you have someone fighting for what you're actually entitled to.

And this will be why he wants to hurry you out:
"
You'll need to agree who owns goods you bought during the marriage. If you can't agree, the court assumes you own them jointly.
......
At the end of your marriage, the court can give you or your partner rights to the home or can take rights to occupy the home away from either of you. As long as you're both still living in the home, whether it is owned or rented, you both have rights to live in it.
....
If one of you is a sole owner or a sole tenant and the other partner leaves the home, they may have to go to court to enforce their rights to get back in."
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/relationship-problems-s/getting-divorced-s/#ordinary_divorce

Wastedusername · 29/04/2021 16:46

I know a man who persuaded his wife not to get a solicitor when they divorced asking her 'who do you trust more, me or a solicitor?' She should have gone with the solicitor as she definitely came off worse off after it. She'd been a SAHM all her life. He had an excellent career on the basis of that.
She got the house and that is all. He kept all of pension, their second property, all of their savings and investments and she got no spousal maintenance.

In England there is a presumption of 50% split and you negotiate from there.. Doesn't sound like he is offering you anything like that - how much is his pension worth and other savings and assets? He has probably already consulted a solicitor, knows you are entitled to more and that it why he is pressure selling you into this offer.