Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

[AJ500]

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

• no children.
• he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
• based in Scotland although married in England.
• I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
• he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

@AJ500 it does sound rather like we were / are married to the same man. Be prepared for way more pettiness and selfishness along the way. My ex made it clear he would be happy for me to be homeless, whilst he enjoyed our new refurbished 3 bedroom house.

For further clarity were you following him around to facilitate his job in the military?

Oh and is he definitively on £32k? During my divorce l found out my husband was lying about his salary, to many tens of thousands of pounds

It seems suspicious he does this just before the 10 year point in your marriage and makes a reasonable ish offer - perhaps he has consulted a solicitor himself and was told this is a reasonable amount but was nervous about solicitors fees which are bad!!!

I'm not seeing any evidence his 'Offer' is reasonable, it's more likely he's trying to rush OP out the door with a few quid in her back pocket, before she's had time to blink.

Definitely don't fold to pressure to agree before you know your rights. His pressure tactics on the £50k can only be motivated by a belief that he will be worse off if you know the true position. Try to make sure you know the true position before you agree, ask him to show you savings accounts, salary slip etc. Appreciate he might not be up for sharing...

Take a look at recent sold prices in your area or talk to an estate agent and get a more accurate sense of what your property is really worth and what the equity is. I understand that in Scotland, property acquired during the marriage is generally looked at as joint even if it was registered to only one spouse.

Morally, I wouldn't be chasing his pension etc if I had reasonable earning power, but my view might change if I'd sacrificed my career to support his and was now being shoved aside to accommodate an OW.

And don't move until you are ready.

In scotland you are entitled to 50% of the marital assets no matter who was working or supporting who. and you have an automatic occupancy right to the house, as in, you have a right to live there until you are divorced and you have both agreed to who moves out, so he legally cannot kick you out, so do not leave of your own accord either! Do not trust this person no matter what your feelings for him are or where... speak to a solicitor and begin proceedings ASAP without telling him, the marital assets will be counted from that time, so even if he tried to hide or transfer or spend funds they would still be counted. Sorry you are going through this, but please play hardball and try to keep your emotions out of it, many a woman has been cheated and screwed over by a man because they still had feelings for them (me included) ... don't be surprised if he has already been to a solicitor and knows what you are actually entitled to! Best of luck x

@EL8888 yes, we moved locations every two years due to his job.

You poor soul. This happened to me, more or less. The shock is terrible but your survival instinct will get you through it.

Lawyer up faster than a blink of an eye!

Completely agree with @Bluntness100 and have no idea what's going on here.

You are entitled to fifty percent of the matrimonial property as at the date of separation, that's your key date. So that's the date for assets, bank statements, etc etc.

Pension. The company is provided with the date of marriage and the date of separation and calculates a cash equivalent transfer value. Nobody can guess what that may or may not be.

Yes you have occupancy rights to the house but on the flip side it makes zero difference financially whether you stay in it or not. I appreciate you want to stay but leaving does not damage your position or affect your claim. Fifty percent of the equity if bought during or in anticipation of the marriage or increase in value from date of marriage to separation date if a long term asset. Arguments can be made re source of funds for deposit. So if one person put in an amount the can make the argument it should be deducted before the division.

There would be no basis for spousal payment based on what you say.

Same position for savings, so if someone separated today and spends twenty grand next week the date we are using is today.

Court is not used as frequently for financial division. We use a separation agreement negotiated between solicitors then a simplified divorce after one or two years. Court is expensive and unless significant assets and dispute should be avoided at all times. The agreement is not approved or signed off by the court, just by the parties and seen by agents of represented.

Glad you are seeing a solicitor.

Yes you may get some form of contribution based legal aid although many have stopped doing it for financial cases and take payment on settlement.

As I've said many times both here and to clients the law is so very very different in Scotland.

@AJ500

You should also get your house valued rather than rely on what he’s telling you the equity is. We’ve just had ours done and I’m amazed at how much more it was worth that I though. Plus homes are going for about 5-10% above home report value at the moment so don’t let him fool you into thinking you have lower equity than you do.

Although do remember if you were to sell there would be fees involved.

Glad to hear you have a solicitor to advise you properly though.

Is the date of separation the date he asked her to leave or the date she will leave.

Op you are definitely doing the right thing make sure the lawyers appointment happens before any agreement I'm so sorry x

For the military pension aspect its really easy to get an estimate on how much its worth providing you know the relevant dates of when he joined, when he finished and what years he promoted into a new rank. Just google armed forces pension calculator. Starting point is 50% of the amount of time you were married when he was in service. For example my DHs ex had 13yrs worth of pension right, her offer was 40k but couldn't access til pension age. She took 10k cash as clean break.

@CombatBarbie

For the military pension aspect its really easy to get an estimate on how much its worth providing you know the relevant dates of when he joined, when he finished and what years he promoted into a new rank. Just google armed forces pension calculator. Starting point is 50% of the amount of time you were married when he was in service. For example my DHs ex had 13yrs worth of pension right, her offer was 40k but couldn't access til pension age. She took 10k cash as clean break.

But remember it is not what’s in the pot but what the cash transfer value is. It is not pound for pound.

Completely agree with @Bluntness100 and have no idea what's going on here

I know right? The maths is easy other than the unknown pension value, but it’s a small pension. Usually posters are quite spot on in these questions but it’s like they are competing to say how much the op can get, when the maths is very clear, it’s about 30k exc pension she’s entitled to, taking into account equity and joint savings. People are baying likes she’s found a meal ticket for life.

Oddest thread ever

@AJ500

Men rarely leave a relationship out of the blue without another woman loitering in the background.Maybe that's why he wants you gone quickly and quietly;so you can't file for divorce based on adultery and he can save his own skin as it looks bad on him and his OW if people know they were having a affair.

Hi everyone.

Just been reading through your comments.

Just told my mum and brother, they're down in England but my mum said I could potentially move into hers for a while if needs be. I desperately want to be with my family at this time but I'm staying put until I have all the facts.

Right now I'm fact gathering before I think of a decision. I have important exams in six weeks and I've told husband that they are my priority right now. Alongside this I have also booked a solicitors appointment, and also going to book a GP appointment as I've barely slept/not ate and I'm coping pretty badly.

Op listen to @brokengate, she knows what’s she is talking about.

@England101 - it’s not that your opinions are unpopular, it’s that they are uninformed. I’m taking a guess from your user name that you are not well acquainted with Scots Law on divorce.

Many people seem to have misread the OPs first post where she says clearly that they live in SCOTLAND because they are advising her on the law from some some other country, which isn’t relevant.

Spousal support is awarded very rarely in Scotland.

Pensions saved during the marriage ARE a matrimonial asset. People here can call it HIS pension and talk about “ going after it” all they like and it won’t change the law. The OP doesn’t have to “ go after “ matrimonial assets, she already owns them jointly with him. You might as well say that he is trying to “ go after “ her share of their pensions.

An imminent inheritance can’t be driving his precipitous behaviour as it would not be a matrimonial asset unless he brought into the marriage.

I’m also pretty shocked by the number of posters here who seem to think it’s their place to tell the OP that this might well be a good deal and she should take it. No one here has the FAINTEST idea what the assets are and therefore cannot make an assessment. That combined with the fact that most of you don’t even seem to know the law on this means that giving that kind of advice is utterly irresponsible and pretty unkind TBH.

You do know, don’t you, that not a single solicitor would give an opinion based on what the Op has said here? Yet so many of you are giving her the foolish advice to take his deal.

If it’s a good deal now it will still be a good deal when she has has legal advice and all the matrimonial assets have been declared and evaluated. The OP can instruct a solicitor without her husband doing the same - it’s his choice.

OP you may feel that you are coping badly but you are making a lot of smart decisions under extreme stress. So you are doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

You have reached out to your family AND sought professional advice - all good moves.

Also please contact your personal tutor and let her know about your personal situation. Can you also contact Student Support at your college / university ? Remember Monday is a holiday so do it today.

Do you have local friends who you could meet up with right now for support ? Remember you can meet in a cafe or go out for a walk.

Op I would bet heavily he does have an OW so please prepare yourself for finding out this news.

He's a bully who planned this and is probably cheating on you. The fuck I'd leave the house.

Doing this 6 weeks before your exams is a particularly thoughtless move. Don't let him affect your results

No one here has the FAINTEST idea what the assets are and therefore cannot make an assessment

Other than the pension transfer value she’s clearly articulated rhe assets.

It's highly likely she's underestimating the equity in the house, given that it is a house in Edinburgh and things are bonkers here just now. In fact, given the sum mentioned and the fact the H is planning to remortgage, I'd take a guess that the equity is £100k at least. But of course that is a guess and she needs legal advice and house valuations.