Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

257 replies

AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:00

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

  • no children.
  • he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
  • based in Scotland although married in England.
  • I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
  • he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

OP posts:
MrsRockAndRoll · 19/07/2021 20:53

Congratulations on your exams. Can you document the verbal & emotional abuse? Set up an email address he doesn't know about and keep it there

CliffsofMohair · 19/07/2021 21:08

This is a long shot but don’t forces families and ex forces families access support through specific organisations? SSAFA?
This wouldn’t be the first time they would encounter abusive partners. Forces Sweethearts is another good resource on MN for serving /ex serving families.

www.ssafa.org.uk/about-us/how-we-help

Record the abuse, if you can. Use ear pods where you can’t.

CliffsofMohair · 19/07/2021 21:09

Equally you would be well within your rights to call the police each time he sounds off. Verbal abuse and intimidation is abuse.

CliffsofMohair · 19/07/2021 21:13

www.supportline.org.uk/problems/armed-services-and-ex-services/

More forces support helplines ( ex serving as well as serving). There are Scotland specific numbers there too

Tallisimo · 19/07/2021 21:34

He is talking bollocks, I suspect. You really must get some legal advice and find out what your options are. He is a bully and seems to keep changing his mind, probably just another tactic designed to undermine and upset you.

QueenBee52 · 19/07/2021 22:31

He's a vile RAT... do not leave your house OP Flowers

QueenBee52 · 19/07/2021 22:32

Congratulations on your exams Flowers Star

TinkerPony · 21/07/2021 10:42

Congratulations passing your exams FlowersWine

QueenBee52 · 21/07/2021 12:51

@AJ500

How are you? have you managed to source a decent Lawyer to get some legal advice 🌸

Marshy86 · 21/07/2021 15:49

It's all very suspicious OP, protect yourself. Can you put a lock on one of the bedroom doors so you can go in and lock the door behind you when you need a breather ?

VodselForDinner · 21/07/2021 22:46

@AJ500 I mean this is the nicest way but I can’t believe you passed your exams. The pressure you’ve been under is horrendous, so you’re obviously Super Woman and I am in awe.

Well done!!!

AJ500 · 27/07/2021 15:19

Just to let people know I have a proper appointment with solicitor next week, a good one who is within my budget. A friend of mine is coming with me for personal support.

Have had some personal emergency family issues that have taken up my time so I've been down with them in England due to it.

Husband has been to a solicitor who has informed him that he's entitled to more of the equity as he used an inheritance sum for the deposit, he's also been told he's entitled to start collecting more "monthly rent" from me as he says we're now officially separated. Why does that last bit smell like BS? I've paid money into bills/food etc every month but now he wants a proper "rent" style payment from me every month if I want to stay here until I find somewhere new to live.

Thanks to everyone saying well done regarding exams - very very difficult to achieve but I'm glad I did it. Will get me through the tough times.

I'm looking for full time work and have an interview next week so fingers crossed!

OP posts:
LadyEloise · 27/07/2021 15:37

Rooting for you AJ500
Glad you have real life support.
Best of luck re job.

QueenBee52 · 27/07/2021 18:14

@AJ500

Just to let people know I have a proper appointment with solicitor next week, a good one who is within my budget. A friend of mine is coming with me for personal support.

Have had some personal emergency family issues that have taken up my time so I've been down with them in England due to it.

Husband has been to a solicitor who has informed him that he's entitled to more of the equity as he used an inheritance sum for the deposit, he's also been told he's entitled to start collecting more "monthly rent" from me as he says we're now officially separated. Why does that last bit smell like BS? I've paid money into bills/food etc every month but now he wants a proper "rent" style payment from me every month if I want to stay here until I find somewhere new to live.

Thanks to everyone saying well done regarding exams - very very difficult to achieve but I'm glad I did it. Will get me through the tough times.

I'm looking for full time work and have an interview next week so fingers crossed!

bullshit... you also OWN that house ...

did he ring fence his Deposit NO.. so that's unfortunate for him..

50/50

tell him you'll see him in Court 🌸

QueenBee52 · 27/07/2021 18:15

why would you pay Rent for staying in a house you OWN.. think about it..

He is chancing his arm big time .. don't engage in his bollocks 🌸

BeaBeaBuzz · 27/07/2021 18:24

Total bollocks, I wouldn’t believe a word he says. Stay strong OP you’re doing amazingly through all of this

AJ500 · 27/07/2021 18:39

Thanks, I did think that was BS. I have a feeling he's going to become sneaky about all of this - I've unfortunately read many threads of a similar nature where the spouse almost has a personality switch overnight when solicitors start to become involved. I think this may happen here.

Will update when spoken to solicitor.

OP posts:
Tallisimo · 27/07/2021 19:48

Hmmm. Seems like he is happy to tell you a load of tosh. Don’t believe a word of it, he’s making it up as he goes along. Good luck with your solicitor meeting, and great you have a friend coming along for moral support.

ProseccoThyme · 27/07/2021 21:17

In Scots law there is some argument that he would be entitled to more as he has put in more towards a deposit.

Is he thinking that he will buy you out, then charge you rent like a tenant?

Bear in mind that solicitors always give you the "best possible that you can hope for" but will never get. The answer is somewhere between what both your solicitors say. But you both need to compromise.

MrsRockAndRoll · 27/07/2021 22:09

Good luck for the interview and the solicitor meeting!

Charging you rent 😂 Just wow!

Marshy86 · 29/07/2021 11:22

Hi Op, when did he come into the inheritance? Not sure if it's different in Scotland but that's definitely not the case in England. Don't agree to anything until you've spoken to your solicitor and got their opinion and if he starts to make things more difficult tell him to direct all communication via solicitors

QueenBee52 · 29/07/2021 20:55

Good luck OP.. Flowers

GettingItOutThere · 29/07/2021 22:01

good luck OP, hes 100% hiding something, not just another woman but probably a shit load of money too

Outbutnotoutout · 30/07/2021 12:15

Keep fighting this, and stay put, I know it's been said but 🤷‍♀️

What a knob, he is feeding you alsorts of shit hoping you will fall for it.

If he gets nasty and your scared you could always report him to the police.

QueenBee52 · 30/07/2021 20:25

If you return to the house... and you find he has changed the locks..

The property is jointly owned neither party can change the locks without the agreement* of the other person*. Both of you have a right to access and to occupy the property.

Remember this OP 🌸

Swipe left for the next trending thread