Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

[AJ500]

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

• no children.
• he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
• based in Scotland although married in England.
• I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
• he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

Move exactly half the savings into a separate bank account at a different bank.

@youshallnotpass9 I've been thinking whether there's an OW waiting in the wings and this is why he's suddenly in a rush.

Just want to say thanks to everyone, I'll read through the comments again when I've had some sleep. I really appreciate everyone taking their time to comment.

When you think about it, trying to rush you into a decision is a typical scammer’s tactic.

Photograph EVERYTHING you can get your hands on, joint savings acc etc.
You may be entitled to legal aid because of your income, this may take a while to come through but worth the wait.
The godsend is you don't have children.
I left with my 2 kids as hubby of 13yrs had an affair.
I paid solicitor bills, still paying them off, didn't wait for legal aid, didn't go after his pension and took only half the sale from the house.
Let him blackmail, gaslight etc all he wants. Do not fall for his lies, always doubt what he says i.e my solicitor says this so your must be wrong. Always check with your own solicitor.
Stick it out, through all the stress, tears, gossip, possible loss of friendships, anger and take him for absolutely everything you can get. Who cares if its for your financial gain now, especially when he wants you out!
Don't feel guilty for him or worry how he will cope.
Think solely about yourself with this situation.

[quote AJ500]@youshallnotpass9 I've been thinking whether there's an OW waiting in the wings and this is why he's suddenly in a rush.

Just want to say thanks to everyone, I'll read through the comments again when I've had some sleep. I really appreciate everyone taking their time to comment.[/quote]

most certainly there is someone waiting in the wings..

Get everything you are entitled too OP 🌺

As you’re a student would you be looking for some spousal support too? I don’t know the criteria of this but the majority of divorces I’ve known about where the wife is not earning or earning very little have asked for support in the months (years!) following divorce...

In England you'd be entitled to a chunk of his pension - I'm not sure if that stands in Scotland - but get advice

He's utterly disgusting. Presumably he's been mulling this over for some time (and yes, to those that suggest he's got another woman waiting). But he told you out the blue yesterday that your marriage is over, that's it. Get out.

He's a fucking disgrace if he thinks any woman should gratefully say, Yes sir, thank you sir and agree to leave by the weekend after 10 years together, simply on his say so!

Who the fuck does he think he is? I'd be seeing a solicitor and taking my time over considering what was best for me. And I'd go for every single penny I was entitled to because of the wank way he's gone about it. Talk about lack of respect.

First he tells you that he wants a divorce, then he tries to buy you off and then, when that doesn't work he claims you are 'only doing that for financial gain. '

You are very well rid and very sensible to talk to a solicitor. Knowing something of his savings snd pension would very helpful when you get that advice.

All the best.

Your husband has some audacity doesn’t he, casually telling you the marriage is over and he will give you 50 grand for your trouble if you can be out by the weekend. Stay were you are until you have a proper legally binding financial agreement in place. It really sounds like he just won’t pay this money, and you won’t be able to fight as you will have no money and rent to pay.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s a hell of a shock. He’s not on your side now though so don’t have any scruples about not taking your fair share.

Marriage is a partnership, if it ends you take what your entitled to. I hope you’ve got real life support too.

Also don't forget that 50% of the contents of the house are yours or the
Estimated value thereof.

Honestly what an awful situation and what a stonewalling bully!

@Narwhalsh

As you’re a student would you be looking for some spousal support too? I don’t know the criteria of this but the majority of divorces I’ve known about where the wife is not earning or earning very little have asked for support in the months (years!) following divorce...

I doubt that's possible on 32k unfortunately. It's a relatively low salary. SM tends to only be applied on 100k plus earners.

What a bastard. Get to a solicitor ASAP. Good luck.

I agree with a pp you need to move half the savings

One solicitor has got back to me to ask me to call her tomorrow. She's offering a face to face appointment which is what I would prefer as husband is working from home so wouldn't want to discuss things over the phone.

Thank you to everyone. I agree, I hate the fact he's dropped this bombshell and is acting as if nothing is wrong. He keeps repeating that 50k is a good lump sum, as if he can just expect me to jump up say "wow, thanks" and fuck off into the sunset. the more he's saying it the more I think there's an OW.

I'm in shock, feel sick, bad headache from crying but hoping I'll wake up a little more positive.

Thank you all.

Spousal maintenance is rare, it’s long marriages with one partner unable to retrain and work generally. Asking is not the same as getting and judges prefer clean break.

I’m not sure what’s going on on this thread but people are piling in saying rhe op is entitled to more than she’s ever ever likely to be, or that even exists. I’m really glad she’s seeing a solicitor. Because some folks are acting like it’s lottery win time.

The base starting point is fifty percent of assets, joint savings, and house equity. The pension is very low. There will be little money in that pot in terms of its cash transfer value. He is also a relatively low earner. The op will be expected to sustain herself.

Right now based on the numbers given the op is entitled to approx 30k, and maybe a few grand from the pension. But as said, a judge may not award her that if she goes that route.

Military pension earned whilst young could be worth ££££££££

I'm in shock, feel sick, bad headache from crying but hoping I'll wake up a little more positive

I’m sorry, yes it is likely there is someone else, and please don’t get your hopes up based on some of the nonsense being posted on here. You’ll just be hurt more when it does not come true. Speak the solicitor but act fast, the pension is the differential here, and if he speaks to a solicitor he may reduce his offer.

@RandomMess

Military pension earned whilst young could be worth ££££££££

That’s proper bullshit and I speak as woman married to an ex military man,

It’s your ‘marital’ home bought after you were married so you have a claim to your fair share of the property and its contents. Don’t forget to claim your share of his pension for the duration of your marriage too. Fair share may not be 50% but more often than not it is.

He cannot force you out as it’s your marital home. Not having your name on the mortgage or deeds is somewhat irrelevant, you have rights in this regard.

The only things you’re not entitled to share are things like inheritances (unless used to buy the marital home), personal gifts and things purchased for individual use prior to marriage (or the start of your serious relationship)

Seek legal advice it will protect you better than relying on the man who just dumped you out of the blue to be honest and do what’s fair.

He believes he can keep everything in the marital property too huh... he's just a darling isn't he

@Bluntness100
I did say COULD be

My DH pension forecast looked shit for years but now it's suddenly seems to be looking much better especially when I compare it with mine!

I know this will be unpopular opinion but he’s only on £32k and you’re in your early 30s with no children who chose to study and work part time. And people are talking about spousal support and HIS military pension. Id understand if he was a very high earner and you were a SAHM in your mid 40s but you have many years left to earn a significant wage. What happens if in 10yrs you out earn him, will you pay him support?