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Original poster

Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

257 replies

AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:00

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

  • no children.
  • he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
  • based in Scotland although married in England.
  • I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
  • he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

OP posts:
PurpleMustang · 29/04/2021 16:46

He certainly ain't your best friend right now so won't be offering you a 'good' deal. He just wants rid of you quick and cheap, hence the offer and the time limit. And tell him you are getting legal advice so will be as long as you need too. And don't move anywhere till it is done and dusted. He can't force you out, his name or not, you are married and that is your home. Good luck

Wegobshite · 29/04/2021 16:48

When he says you will get less
Straight back at him - so will you 😂

Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:49

@Rebelwithverysharpclaws I know, that's how I feel about it. I'm just about to come up to some difficult exams, I've recently had a close family member death and now he thinks this is the best time to drop the bombshell.

Thank you to all. I'm going to find out some more financial details.

OP posts:
Horehound · 29/04/2021 16:51

This happened to my brother. Together 12 years married for a few months. She ended it and turned out was having an affair..
He actually had to move out because he got a job in England and actually that served him better because the divorce then proceeded as a 50:50 split.
His name wasn't on the mortgage but I think he was on the deeds but I don't believe it matters because the house was clearly bought with the intention of it being a family home.
He has walked away with 135k. I'd not be listening to anything your husband says and seek legal advice asap. Ask them if you'd get a better settlement if you were living in England.

So sorry for you op.

phoebemcpeepee · 29/04/2021 16:52

Honestly, given the likely the pain of a messy divorce not to mention stress of living together now, I'd say give me £100k and I'll be off before Monday. Unless of course he's recently won the lottery then I'd sit tight.

SteveArnottsWaistcoat · 29/04/2021 16:53

Sorry to hear this OP, I hope you are ok and can sort this out.

I had no idea that in Scotland you’re in more of a vulnerable position? I always thought you were entitled to 50% even if your name wasn’t on the mortgage!

lesbonastraves · 29/04/2021 16:53

1/2 the value of the property and leave.

Horehound · 29/04/2021 16:53

You should be entitled to some of his pension btw and if he is a high earner then that could be a big contribution for you later in life. Do not dismiss his pension!

queenatom · 29/04/2021 16:56

@Wuurg

I think you are entitled to something from the house under the Matrimonial Property Act but not 100% sure. If you are in the Highlands I can recommended an excellent solicitor.
It's been a while since I studied any of this stuff but I believe you're correct - the "family home" will be in the pot on a divorce, regardless of whose name it's in. You also have a right of occupancy under the Matrimonial Homes (Family Protection) (Scotland) Act 1981. Scots law also tends to have greater protections for financially vulnerable spouses than the English system, which sounds like it could be in your favour.

Definitely definitely take legal advice before making any moves!

Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 17:01

Thanks everyone.

I've told him I'm going to see a solicitor before I give him any decision and he's turned fairly nasty, saying I'm obviously only doing that for financial gain. He's really against me speaking to one, which is very very suspect.

OP posts:
queenatom · 29/04/2021 17:04

@AJ500

Thanks everyone.

I've told him I'm going to see a solicitor before I give him any decision and he's turned fairly nasty, saying I'm obviously only doing that for financial gain. He's really against me speaking to one, which is very very suspect.

He's really showing his hand there, isn't he?! I can almost guarantee you that speaking to a solicitor will indeed result in a better financial gain for you, and why shouldn't you do that? So sorry that you're having to deal with this.
MunchyCat · 29/04/2021 17:10

He's definitely hiding some money then.

Do not leave that house until the very end. If he becomes abusive call the police.

trevthecat · 29/04/2021 17:16

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Always amazes me when someone drops a bombshell and then acts like it's the other party who are being unreasonable.

crimsonlake · 29/04/2021 17:29

In England this would not be classed as a short marriage where you leave with what you brought in...Not sure if it would be classed as a long marriage either, think that has to be over 10 years, but also the length of time you have been together beforehand could be possibly considered by the courts.
Do not leave your home and do not accept his £50k. You really need to seek legal advice.
Failing that post this question on the Wikivorce government funded divorce website where lots of legal eagles are willing to give you proper advice.

Fundays12 · 29/04/2021 17:32

Get a solicitor you are most likely entitled to around half of the house as you have been married so long. Scottish law is different so you need proper advice. If your property is in Edinburgh it's probably worth a fair bit. Refuse to leave the house to.

DogsSausages · 29/04/2021 17:38

He will turn nasty because you have called his bluff
Try and get all your paperwork together and copies of all finances for both of you. If you leave the house he could use that against you. Dont agree to anything. He will have to wait a while for a divorce if you dont agree to it anyway. Let him stew. Are you keeping notes and recording your conversations with him.

EL8888 · 29/04/2021 17:39

Don’t leave the house! Also get some legal advice. Yeah maybe he does want an answer ASAP but it doesn’t work like that Confused. Out of curiosity how far away is your 10 year anniversary? Reason l ask is when l got divorced (in England), then l think my solicitor said relationships over 10 years are counted as “medium term relationships” and l could expect a better settlement than a short term relationship. But l appreciate things may be different in Scotland.

For clarity my ex husband offered me £5k to get out of the house and clapped out 8 year old Vauxhall. I got over 10 times that and could have got way more, we were married but my name wasn’t in the deeds or mortgage. But l paid 50/50 on mortgage, DIY etc. I didn’t touch his pension as we had no children, my career was going ok and l was only mid 30’s. But l could have done if l had chosen to. He badgered me to leave every night for weeks, despite the fact l reminded him l had nowhere to go and legally had been advised not to

DogsSausages · 29/04/2021 17:41

He needs grounds for divorce so will need a solicitor. DiY divorce wont allow lump sum payments.

Erkrie · 29/04/2021 17:43

Why shouldn't you do it for financial gain? It's him that's leaving and chucking you out. Why should he get to rip you off in that process too?

EL8888 · 29/04/2021 17:46

Just seen your update. Yep he is annoyed as he starting to see you won’t roll over like he had hoped. Sorry to hear about this, l know it’s all highly stressful and difficult. But a solicitor is 100% required here. My ex was hilarious and suggested we “shared” a solicitor to get divorced Shock. I had to explain it doesn’t work like that and no, lm not being difficult. Turns out he was having an affair with a friend of mine and wanted me gone to play house with her. I ruined that a bit by not being a walkover and him having to re-mortgage the house to pay me off

minniemomo · 29/04/2021 17:51

I would ask him for a breakdown of the equity (valuations from multiple agents at least one you instruct) his pension etc. £50k might be a generous settlement if he doesn't have much in the way of assets and the equity is only £50-60k. You can rent somewhere with that - some universities have sole occupancy flats or bedsits. If he wants to separate, however much you don't want it, be practical and get what you can financially

HebeJeeby · 29/04/2021 17:57

Well of course you are going to see a solicitor for financial gain! Turn it back on him, why doesn't he want you to see a solicitor - Oh, for financial gain I expect! Who cares what he thinks! He can't turf you out with 2 days notice and expect you to be grateful for an offer of £50k. I bet if he's offered that then you're actually entitled to a LOT more. As others have said - savings, pension etc... all need to be considered. He's not doing this for your benefit.

Original poster
AJ500 · 29/04/2021 17:57

@EL8888 in just under eight weeks will be our ten year anniversary.
Yeah my husband has just said the same thing 'let's share a solicitor' wtf!?!?

I've emailed some solicitors to see if I can set up an appointment.

I've been reading conflicting things but he bought the house after we married, am I therefore entitled to some of it? Or half? My head is all over the place so I feel what I've been researching has not sunk in (I'm in shock to be honest).

OP posts:
MintMatchmaker · 29/04/2021 17:59

Do you know what assets you have other than the house? Get together as much paperwork as you can.

MintMatchmaker · 29/04/2021 18:00

A solicitor will not represent you both. It is a conflict of interest.

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