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Original poster

My Employer wants my wife to quit her job.

190 replies

Bhollis · 26/04/2021 05:46

My employer has asked me to start working weekends and to be on call all the time. I am not able to do this as on the weekends I look after my children while my wife works.

My employer has said that she "may have to think about giving it up" so I can work my new hours.

Am I right in thinking that is a unreasonable change to ask for? Can he also said he needs an answer within 24 hours.

OP posts:
YoniAndGuy · 26/04/2021 09:51

Is this even for real?

Tell your cousin that their choice is to back the fuck off and give you the pay rise anyway or cause a massive family rift and get reported for unsafe and unlawful emploment practices.

Fonzitotsy · 26/04/2021 09:52

If there's no contract you are not an employee and they're not an employer. I assume your cousin isn't paying pension contributions or other benefits either? You probably shouldn't be working for your cousin anyway especially whilst being exploited like this as this might create family tension... Find a new job and let your poor wife be...

Lockdownbear · 26/04/2021 09:52

@Howshouldibehave

You’d think dog walking would be most lucrative during the week when people were at work!

What do you mean the £5k pay rise isn’t a pay rise?

There's a difference between dog walking and dog training. Dog training need the owner to learn too.

I'll assume what they mean by £5k isn't a rise, they'd be doing more hours and taking on a lot more responsibility. The £5k barely covers more hours but not the extra responsibility.
But if his DW gives up work, the household income will drop by 9k. Her 14k is lost but he gains 5k.
But by the time you consider the tax implications it will be worse than that because 11k of her income will be below the tax free allowance, his additional 5k will all be taxed.

indiakulfi · 26/04/2021 09:54

Even if there isn't a written contract isn't it the case that you have a default contract in employment law

Have a look at www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/rights-at-work/basic-rights-and-contracts/contracts-of-employment/

RedToothBrush · 26/04/2021 10:05

The correct response here is

"I'm sorry I can do that. You are asking me to ruin my marriage and take a financial penalty. If you don't like that sorry, tough. If you are going to try and emotionally blackmail me or manipulate me because you are my cousin, also tough. If you want to fire me, then I suggest you think about it very carefully because you haven't provided me with a contract and you are trying to shaft me and you are acting in a way which will put you into a position which is illegal. I will have no other choice but to follow this route because I need to put my family first. I consider the fact that you are not prepared to consider my family's position and why it is impossible for me to 'ask my wife to give up work' as shitting on my family, so alls fair if I go down the legal route, you've given me no choice but to consider."

"PS Maybe you should tell your wife should pull her finger out and get a better job and see how well that goes down. This isn't the 1950s or a third world country. Mate".

RedToothBrush · 26/04/2021 10:06

Then look for another job. This one isn't lasting.

Neither is your relationship with your cousin. He's a tosser who shits on his family.

Original poster
Bhollis · 26/04/2021 10:09

Thank all for your advice. I gave also contacted acas and they have advised me to put in a complaint first explaining the reasoning and let my employer make the choice to either keep me or fire me. He can't impose on my wife's job tho. He can only ask for me to find child care. As I am unable to it is a unreasonable ask.

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 26/04/2021 10:24

Well done @Bhollis - now, please come back and let us know how your cousin takes to hearing that news! I can imagine that it is not going to go smoothly but fingers crossed your cousin takes it well.

Justilou1 · 26/04/2021 10:46

Do you have an auntie you can have a word with? Your cousin is a dickhead. Get a contract.

Ideasplease322 · 26/04/2021 10:51

@Justilou1

Do you have an auntie you can have a word with? Your cousin is a dickhead. Get a contract.
Please don’t involve his mummy! You are adults. You need to resolve this like professionals.

To be honest, if this is your boss’s attitude I doubt he will magically become a good employer. Best to look for other work.

He’s you boss, he just happens to also be your cousin.

CarmelBeach · 26/04/2021 10:53

What happens if you turn down the job?

Newestname001 · 26/04/2021 10:56

OP your cousin/employer is treating you like a second class citizen and, worse, trying to do the same to your wife.

I'm glad you are pushing back and contacted ACAS. I do think, however, you need to find employment elsewhere with someone who's not trying to rule your whole wife, including your wife's, who has nothing to do with this selfish person's business. 🌹

AryaStarkWolf · 26/04/2021 11:02

Agree with many other PPs, look for a new job with a proper contract

NavigatingAdolescence · 26/04/2021 11:02

@Bhollis

It would be 5 days aweek at work but on call even on my days off. In the new job description it says I will be the first point of call when outside office hours.
This would be unlawful under the Working Time Directive. You cannot opt out of the rest break requirements.
EL8888 · 26/04/2021 11:06

As someone else said, you need to get a new job rather than your wife. Your wife is a person in her own right and can make her own decisions, she might not want to quit her job. There is zero chance l would be told what to do or not do by my husbands employer Confused

Magnificentmug12 · 26/04/2021 11:12

Why in the world would you ask your wife to give up CONTRACTED hours for more hours that are NOT contracted. That’s madness in a tea cup.

Magnificentmug12 · 26/04/2021 11:15

So you want your wife to give up a 14k weekend job so you can earn a extra 5k!??

That’s a 10k loss per annum.....really!!!!!

Wheresmybiscuit3 · 26/04/2021 11:17

You know your cousin is being unreasonable. Look for a new job I think

NotSorry · 26/04/2021 11:20

@worriedatthemoment

That may be so, but I've worked for myself for the last 8 years and the 3-4 jobs I had in the previous 28 years, I've never had a contract. As a PP said a verbal contract is still binding. It's never been a problem for me, I just wanted to let others know that lack of a contract doesn't mean someone isn't being paid PAYE

Eddielzzard · 26/04/2021 11:27

Shock I'd start looking for another job. Your cousin is way out of line.

EwwSprouts · 26/04/2021 11:33

No employer gets to say what an employee's spouse/partner work arrangements should be. Your cousin is abusing your family loyalty. You need a new job asap.

ittakes2 · 26/04/2021 11:39

A bit of a drip feed! You don't have a contract and you work for your cousin. He is a removal business and so not hugely surprising he wants weekend work. He's allowed to ask you - you can say no.

CheltenhamLady · 26/04/2021 11:49

@Bhollis

It's Paye it could not be done from home as there is special software that can only be accessed from the office IP address
Surely that could be changed to allow you to access it from home. Contact the supplier.
WalkingDownTheStreet · 26/04/2021 11:50

On call to do what?

foxyroxyyy · 26/04/2021 11:57

😂

Your cousin thinks you're a mug. No one can help you. Quit and find a job working somewhere you have a contract.