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Original poster

My Employer wants my wife to quit her job.

190 replies

Bhollis · 26/04/2021 05:46

My employer has asked me to start working weekends and to be on call all the time. I am not able to do this as on the weekends I look after my children while my wife works.

My employer has said that she "may have to think about giving it up" so I can work my new hours.

Am I right in thinking that is a unreasonable change to ask for? Can he also said he needs an answer within 24 hours.

OP posts:
MzHz · 26/04/2021 07:43

Does your wife’s job - weekends only? Earn her more money than your job as it stands?

Or are you saying the increase you’d get isn’t as much as she earns for working those two days?

It may be that a switch in responsibility is needed here? Maybe she should more days/hours and you work less and both of you cover the childcare around one another

UhtredRagnarson · 26/04/2021 07:44

Say no. They can either accept it or try and sack you. Have you been there more than two years?

userxx · 26/04/2021 07:47

That would be a no. Working with family can be tricky, boundaries can be crossed, an employer you weren't related to would never suggest such a thing. Just because you share grandparents doesn't mean he can take the piss.

TheJackieWeaver · 26/04/2021 07:47

First off, it is absolutely unreasonable for your employer to hold any opinion at all about your wife’s job, let alone try to dictate terms for it.

Secondly, he sounds like an awful employer. Start looking for a new job, for you.

HowWeAre · 26/04/2021 07:50

What does your wife want?

MiddlesexGirl · 26/04/2021 07:51

Even without a written contract there will be a verbal contract and implied contractual terms. However it's obviously easier to prove the terms with a written contract.
Citizens Advice has a useful overview www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/rights-at-work/basic-rights-and-contracts/changes-to-employment-contracts-overview/ and ACAS as mentioned above is also good.

Alternista · 26/04/2021 07:52

No, and you could probably take legal action against him if he forced you. However given that a) he’s family and b) you’ve been happily working without a contract (why??) I’m guessing you’re not going to want or feel able to do that.

So- get job hunting, urgently.

The software thing is bollocks by the way.

Nith · 26/04/2021 07:56

Why can't your cousin be the first point of call outside normal hours?

Original poster
Bhollis · 26/04/2021 07:57

The payrise is 5k per year. My wife only works weekends as a dog trainer and makes 14.5k before taxes. This pay rise is not a rise

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 26/04/2021 07:57

Employer badly misspoke.

What they meant was 'you will need to find childcare for the additional hours if you are to take up this role, as you must not work whilst also looking after DC'

Up to you how you do it

Or find a new job. Do you actually want the new role? Is it progression?

DelBocaVista · 26/04/2021 07:58

I would be bloody furious if my husbands employer suggested I quit my job so he could work. What decade is this?

Does he think we still live in a time where women routinely gave up work once they got married?

Cowbells · 26/04/2021 07:58

I would say that doesn't work unless you are on a proper contract which pays a rate for being on call, unsociable hours etc that is equivalent to what she earns. And I'd start looking for a new job. It doesn't sound like he's acting professionally with you, maybe due to family connections.

LannieDuck · 26/04/2021 07:59

It doesn't make financial sense, and it sounds as if you don't want to do it.

...so say no?

RosesAndHellebores · 26/04/2021 08:01

This is a family issue rather than a work issue. I imagine the family is close knit and some of the family do not wish your wife to work and you to be doing childcare.

How employable are you elsewhere op? To take the new role so your wife cannot work would be an act of vicarious misogyny if I am reading correctly between the lines here.

LIZS · 26/04/2021 08:04

@Bhollis

It's Paye it could not be done from home as there is special software that can only be accessed from the office IP address
That is nonsense, if nothing else this past year has demonstrated how remote working operates across many sectors, even those with security and financial responsibilities.
ineedaholidaynow · 26/04/2021 08:05

Is being on call 24/7 actually legal?

Original poster
Bhollis · 26/04/2021 08:05

It's his business and wants to start reaping the rewards of owning his own business.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 26/04/2021 08:06

it could not be done from home as there is special software that can only be accessed from the office IP address

There is an IT solution to be able to do this. I can access my work’s special software through the work VPN. They supplied a dongle that slots into the back of my PC to enable this.

I agree that you need to get advice from ACAS. I think your cousin is taking advantage because you are family. I doubt that they would be able to hire anyone else under those terms of employment.

pam290358 · 26/04/2021 08:10

A verbal contract is legally binding and can be shown to have been in place by the hours you have worked so far - this is known as ‘implied terms’. A contract of employment is a legal requirement so if you haven’t got it in writing then the verbal contract to which you are currently working is legally enforceable, so your employer can’t just change the terms of your contract as he likes. Any new terms must be mutually agreed, and if your employer imposes terms which he knows will make it difficult for you to meet your responsibilities, that may constitute constructive dismissal. You really do need to seek advice, firstly from ACAS and then possibly legal advice from a good employment solicitor.

Quincie · 26/04/2021 08:11

OMG - get your wife to train you in dog training - there must be huge demand at the moment.

Or at least you leave job and let her up her hours and work through the week. Seems you could be missing a great opportunity here.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 26/04/2021 08:11

no you can't resign surely?
just no to the weekend work.

IbrahimaRedTwo · 26/04/2021 08:14

And you didn't just laugh at him? I would have done. What would make him think her work is any of his business?

PyjamaFan · 26/04/2021 08:16

This sounds like a toxic workplace.

And it's why working for family can be so problematic.

worriedatthemoment · 26/04/2021 08:19

@NotSorry in the uk its law to have a written contract within a few months of starting a job

nauticant · 26/04/2021 08:20

Ask him to make the request in writing before you'll even think about it. If he sends it in writing, pretend to think about it and then say "no". Having the written request, even as an email or other electronic message, could be useful.