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Original poster

My Employer wants my wife to quit her job.

190 replies

Bhollis · 26/04/2021 05:46

My employer has asked me to start working weekends and to be on call all the time. I am not able to do this as on the weekends I look after my children while my wife works.

My employer has said that she "may have to think about giving it up" so I can work my new hours.

Am I right in thinking that is a unreasonable change to ask for? Can he also said he needs an answer within 24 hours.

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 26/04/2021 08:52

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if I am repeating things that others have said.

Firstly, you do have a contract. It may not be written down, but you are working and being paid. You therefore do have a contract. Your employer doesn't have to give you a contract, but they should have given you written particulars of employment within 2 months of you starting work. It sounds like your employer may be in breach of this requirement.

Your employer cannot change your hours without your consent. However, if you have been there less than two years they could sack you if you don't agree. If you have got two years service you have protection. Your employer could try sacking you or making you redundant if you don't agree to working weekends but it is likely to be unfair dismissal.

Your employer certainly cannot dictate what your wife does.

Stand firm and don't let your employer bully you.

I0NA · 26/04/2021 08:53

How long have you worked for your cousin @Bhollis? If it’s less than 2 years then you have very few rights.

Please phone the ACAS helpline. It’s free and they will advise you of your rights and your options.

I’d also start looking for another job.

I0NA · 26/04/2021 08:54

Sorry I see that @prh47bridge just said that.

pam290358 · 26/04/2021 08:54

@User1487193432. The time served in the job is irrelevant where an employer is trying to change the terms of the original contract of employment, which in this case, although verbal, is still legally binding. If the employer tries to impose terms which make it difficult for the employee to carry on working there, he can still face an employment tribunal for constructive dismissal.

Nanny0gg · 26/04/2021 08:55

@Bhollis

It's his business and wants to start reaping the rewards of owning his own business.
If you can’t work from home, how can you be the first point of call 24/7.
Beefcurtains79 · 26/04/2021 09:00

What did you say when he said your wife might have to give up her job to accommodate your, lower paid one?
Who the fuck would even say such a thing out loud?

Lostlittlelady · 26/04/2021 09:01

Can he also said he needs an answer within 24 hours

Just tell him your answer is no. Simple

Random789 · 26/04/2021 09:04

If you are a man, it seems possible that your employer is disccriminating against you on the basis of sex -- unless he would also expect a woman's partner to give up their job to allow the woman to take on more responsibilities at work.
That would mean that your employer's behaviour would be illegal under the Equality Act.

Radio4Rocks · 26/04/2021 09:07

Tell him to stick it. Very unreasonable of your cousin.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 26/04/2021 09:08

If my DH came home and told me I had to give up work so that he could work extra hours for less money than I make then I know very well what my answer would be. Why does this person think your wife is going to accept that tempting demand offer?

LannieDuck · 26/04/2021 09:10

Love the idea of your wife expanding her business during the week instead.

If she makes £14k at weekends (2 days/wk), that suggests she could potentially make ~£37k over 5 days.

Do you make £37k working for your cousin?

Howshouldibehave · 26/04/2021 09:12

You’d think dog walking would be most lucrative during the week when people were at work!

What do you mean the £5k pay rise isn’t a pay rise?

Noodle765 · 26/04/2021 09:13

Just say no.

wetotter · 26/04/2021 09:15

@Howshouldibehave

You’d think dog walking would be most lucrative during the week when people were at work!

What do you mean the £5k pay rise isn’t a pay rise?

As his DW is not a dog walker, then when the peak times for that role exist aren't exactly relevant.

Dog training is also owner training, and peak times are evenings and weekends

pam290358 · 26/04/2021 09:17

@Howshouldibehave. The OP means that his wife has to give up a 14k job to allow him to take on the new role, which is 5k more than he earns now. Effectively a drop of 9k in the household income.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 26/04/2021 09:18

Your cousin is a pisstaking miser. If I were you wife, I'd tell you to leave before I gave up my job for you to toil for a twat like your cousin and ZERO way I'd quit my job. You need to find a new job, not your wife give up work.

LolaSmiles · 26/04/2021 09:24

It sounds like the cousin thinks that reaping the rewards of being a business owner involves offloading as much as he can without having any staffing strategy.

If he wants the perks of owning his own business, he came expand his team, recruit some staff for weekends and structure roles/responsibilities so that he has strategic oversight of the roles. I bet he doesn't want to do that though, because that will cost him more money than trying to bully a family member to pick up his workload.

I0NA · 26/04/2021 09:24

@Beefcurtains79

What did you say when he said your wife might have to give up her job to accommodate your, lower paid one? Who the fuck would even say such a thing out loud?
Someone who believes that their company is more important than their employees welfare.

Someone who believes that a man’s job is always more important than a woman’s.

Someone who believes that a father caring for his own children is doing a favour for the children’s mother.

Someone who believes that parenting and child care are women’s work.

So basically 75% of the population.

Youdose · 26/04/2021 09:27

tell you cousin to wind their neck in? And get a contract set up.

EdwardTeach · 26/04/2021 09:28

The technical answer to the WFH problem is that your office needs a VPN server that will let you connect to your office PC (running Windows 10 Pro) using Remote Desktop on your home PC (any Windows 10 version).

The answer to the employment question is that you should start looking for a job at a company run by competent professionals.

Ellie56 · 26/04/2021 09:35

@Bhollis

It's his business and wants to start reaping the rewards of owning his own business.
At the expense of your family? Hmm

Like PP have said, consult ACAS and look for a new job. Your cousin is taking the piss.

Nith · 26/04/2021 09:40

What do you mean the £5k pay rise isn’t a pay rise?

Fairly obvious, isn't it, if you look at it in terms of family income? The cousin expects OP to lose £14K for the sake of £5K and, of course, in the interests of giving the cousin free weekends.

HermitsLife · 26/04/2021 09:45

Fuck that OP. Your cousin is taking you for a mug and yes increased hours for an extra 5k is not a pay rise.

What you need is a new job, this will cause you nothing but trouble

MrKlaw · 26/04/2021 09:46

@Bhollis

It's Paye it could not be done from home as there is special software that can only be accessed from the office IP address
they could set up a VPN if they wanted. My wife has the same - was refused wfh because they had some stuff on the office network. Then COVID hit and magically a laptop and VPN appeared.
Notjustanymum · 26/04/2021 09:49

I feel for your poor wife: does your cousin just not care that not only is he affecting her earnings, but also her future pension entitlement?
Women are already shafted by the expectation that they will take maternity leave. If she has moved into a flexible working role around yours on returning to work after having kids, YOU shouldn’t be expecting her to change, and should tell your cousin so.