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Original poster

Verbal agreement to contribute to holiday

269 replies

emkana · 06/03/2020 06:58

When my daughter was with her boyfriend we said he could come on holiday with us. He verbally agreed to contribute a percentage of the cost, and the full amount in case of separation.
He has now split up with her but is not willing to pay. Is there any legal
obligation on him?

OP posts:
CatteStreet · 07/03/2020 10:20

You googled how much they earned? Confused

HoppingPavlova · 07/03/2020 10:20

He was due to share a room with my dd - where do you think he'd put a new girlfriend?

Well, if his family are as loaded as you keep mentioning, I imagine he will simply get another room, take his girlfriend and they will stay together. No one is saying he’s taking the girlfriend to room in with your DDConfused.

So, your DD may get the pleasure of them on the plane and at the accomodation. If he is made to pay, it would be unusual not up front up as that doesn’t make sense. It would be awkward for him fronting up alone and encountering you all given the situation which is why he would probably take the new girlfriend or at least a sibling or someone to counteract that. If money is no issue for them, why wouldn’t they do this? They are just refusing to pay you out of principle not because they don’t have the money.

CatteStreet · 07/03/2020 10:25

I'm afraid you're coming across as quite vindictive, vengeful and also rather envious of his parents' wealth. It's not a good lesson to teach your dd that every slight by another (and yes, I appreciate being dumped by text is quite a big slight) needs avenging.

HoppingPavlova · 07/03/2020 10:29

I know because he told us and because they are the kind of jobs where it's very easy to google what income is attached to these kind of jobs.

Again, unhinged. You are googling to try and understand the parents pay packets?

Irrespective, what the parents earn has nothing to do with it. You will be making the claim off a 19yo who is seen as financially independent from his parents. So, the question is what does he earn? The judge can’t order his family to pay you, they can only order him but if he has no money of his own then it’s going to prove difficult. It may result in small payments over time which seems silly given this will keep him in your DD’s life for an extended time.

itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 07/03/2020 10:32

Stating to think this lad got a lucky escape.

Findumdum1 · 07/03/2020 10:34

2 x 200K salary isnt necessarily "money is no issue" anyway. They might have a large mortgage and be paying 9 grand a week for an elderly relative's nursing home fees, or have huge debts from a failed business, or have a large gambling addiction, or whatever, for all you know. None of which would be relevant to this anyway as your issue is with their adult son who, presumably, isn't bringing in 20K a month.

notasportymum · 07/03/2020 10:37

I would too. And I’d pay for my new partner to go aswell. Some people really are just that petty well you recognise your own capacity for pettiness at least. Some people are decent and as good as their word, and don't treat others as incidental.

This 19 year old man has run off to his mummy because he can't deal with it, the likelihood of him having the stones to go on the trip are low, let alone take a new GF along. For all their wealth they've hardly raised a prized specimen, more a spineless drip. Hope none of you end up saddled with him as a son-in-law.

It would cost the OP nothing to send a court form to them.

A 20 year old I know caused £800 worth of damage to something. Insurance didn't cover it. Their parent lent them the money to pay the repair but they were made to understand they'd caused the damage and had to make good and pay it back.

All that said I would also try and fill the place with a friend and change the name on the booking.

Daisier · 07/03/2020 10:49

Googling the income isn't going to necessarily give you the correct answer.

PegasusReturns · 07/03/2020 10:53

You’re crazy Grin

And I suspect the Ex has an inkling of that. In which case he’ll be on that plane with a smile on his face if you force him to pay.

Wineislifex · 07/03/2020 11:11

You sound unhinged 🤣
Please apply for judge rinder cos I’d love to hear his side of the story 🤣🤣

EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2020 11:13

OP can you explain more about the conversation where he agreed to pay a certain about but a higher amount if they split up?

That sounds like the weirdest conversation ever, to have with your DD & her (then) BF? 😳

Russellbrandshair · 07/03/2020 11:14

WTF has the parents income got to do with this? The ex is a legal adult, his parents income is absolutely irrelevant to what the judge decides. No one goes to court to be told they have to pay up because their grandma is loaded or their third cousin once removed had a lottery win in 2007.
I’m sorry OP but you are coming across more and more unhinged the more you post.

Herja · 07/03/2020 11:27

Just chiming in to agree that if I was forced to pay this as a teenager (now too actually), I would absolutely go.

If possible, I'd take my new girl/boyfriend, spend the day with them rather than you, but each meal time all over them in your eye line, and spend the night in the room I was obliged to pay for having phone sex with the new partner.

This is because I can be spiteful and vindictive. It doesn't upset me, I actively enjoy it (yes, I know. Bad person. But it takes a LOT for me to behave like that). Your daughters ex is also clearly a bit of a twat; personally, I can't understand why you don't think the ex actually coming is a real possibility. He'd obviously not be planning on going as an enjoyable holiday! The whole point would be for it to be awful and horrible for you and your daughter.

KaptenKrusty · 07/03/2020 11:33

Hahahaha this is hilarious - if I was the boyfriend I’d just go on the trip with new girlfriend just to spite you - and get a new room and you’d keep seeing me around and be pissed off! The only way you’d see any money towards the trip is if I was going on it.

😂😂

Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 11:55

I really do not think I'm the one who sounds unhinged.
Depressing to think that such low standards of behaviour are so widespread.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 12:00

As a side note, for him
to be able to come he'd have to have the booking details- how would he get hold of those d'ya reckon?

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 07/03/2020 12:01

By getting them from you when you try to force him to pay. 🙄

Findumdum1 · 07/03/2020 12:07

So you want him to pay, in full, for his holiday but then won't allow him to know the booking details so he can attend his holiday? Seriously, step back and think about what you are saying. If you do this, why wouldn't he take you to small claims court for not allowing him to attend the holiday he has paid for?

You really do sound ridiculous you know. You've got to take the emotion out of this about him dumping your daughter. What kind of message are you giving her? That every time you get a minor setback in life you should go nuclear and take people to court? She is going to face a lot worse in adult life than being dumped by a boyfriend! And I would have thought that being dumped by text message/chat is entirely standard these days for their generation isn't it?

Findumdum1 · 07/03/2020 12:10

If I was a 19y old boy and paid £1400 for 2 pre-booked holidays, I would damn well be going on them with a friend or new girlfriend too. In fact, if I was his parents, I'd be lending him the money to take a friend/girlfriend and for any costs associated with a new room.

You say he has agreed to pay the £200 for the flight? You know he's going to be on that flight right?

Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 12:16

I highly doubt it.
Do you really think a 19 year old girl would want to be part of a vendetta like that against an ex? It's laughable.

OP posts:
MimiLaRue · 07/03/2020 12:21

to be able to come he'd have to have the booking details- how would he get hold of those d'ya reckon

Um.... you have to provide all the paper work for small claims court, you also have to show it to the person you are taking there. This really isn't an issue. I also agree- if I was being forced to pay by a judge, I'd be taking my girlfriend, paying extra for her myself and rubbing in your DD's face. Yes, its not pleasant, but thats what people do when you escalate situations like these by taking them to court. They fight back. Thats humans for you.

MimiLaRue · 07/03/2020 12:22

Do you really think a 19 year old girl would want to be part of a vendetta like that against an ex? It's laughable

Yes, I do- she's getting a free holiday- who would say no to that???

Findumdum1 · 07/03/2020 12:25

you mean his new girlfriend right? Why wouldn't he bring her or a friend and just ignore you? I would. You cant have it both ways. Either he pays for the 2 trips, and can go on them or if you dont want him there, let it go and recoup your costs as much as possible.

You still havent explained why you cant get partial refunds? Is it because your daughter is now in a room of her own and you were relying on him to pay half? Get some of the flight costs back, move her to a single/cheaper room if possible. Take his 200quid instead of the £850 you seem to be saying would have been acceptable before and move on for your daughters sake. £650 isn't much to have a peaceful family holiday is it?

Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 12:26

So if you had a booking with a company where in case of cancellation you'd have to pay full price you'd still
try and insist on going? Cos you paid for it? Just to rub it into the travel company's face how unreasonable they're being? Right-o

OP posts:
MimiLaRue · 07/03/2020 12:27

Just to rub it into the travel company's face how unreasonable they're being? Right-o

Nope. I'd be going to rub it in the face of the mother of my ex who was taking me to court.

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