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Original poster

Verbal agreement to contribute to holiday

269 replies

emkana · 06/03/2020 06:58

When my daughter was with her boyfriend we said he could come on holiday with us. He verbally agreed to contribute a percentage of the cost, and the full amount in case of separation.
He has now split up with her but is not willing to pay. Is there any legal
obligation on him?

OP posts:
Oldbutstillgotit · 07/03/2020 12:39

So you want him to pay for holidays but not go ? In what world is that reasonable ?
On a much smaller scale , many years ago a boyfriend and I bought tickets for a concert ( paid our own) . We were students so a lot of money for us . We spilt up just before the event and he tried to tell me I wasn’t to go as he had met someone . else . As I had paid I went . Uncomfortable but no way was I paying for something and not go.
I understand you are angry at the ex but you are being unreasonable and vindictive.

SouthWestmom · 07/03/2020 12:48

His parents take home £35000 a month?

1400 is 4% of their take home?

They take home £420,000 after tax?

Findumdum1 · 07/03/2020 12:57

I presumed she meant before tax as, if largely based on googling expected salaries for a profession, these would normally be quoted before tax? So 2 people on 200K or one on 300K and one on 100K. Fairly standard salaries for most professionals. Or maybe they are partners in law firms earning that after tax. Still irrelevant though.

Herja · 07/03/2020 13:01

Well, yes Confused. Of course I would OP. To make this comparable, the reason the company would have had to have cancelled, would be something like they'd decided they didn't like me.

If a company decided that my booking/item/whatever would not be made available to me, but I would still have to pay it because they thought I was a shitty person, I would absolutely insist on going/receiving it, just because I had paid for it. Who wouldn't insist on that?

Herja · 07/03/2020 13:03

I mean, I can absolutely see why you'd not want him to come on holiday with you, but if you want him to pay, then he has every right to go on it.

If you don't want him to come, then he doesn't come, but doesn't pay.

Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 13:04

Noeuf yes after tax

OP posts:
datasgingercatspot · 07/03/2020 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 07/03/2020 13:08

If I bloody pay that much for a holiday you can bloody guarantee that I am going.
You said it's a resort. So he can easily go off have a fantastic time with his new partner and not have to give you a second thought.

littleduckeggblue · 07/03/2020 13:11

You sound crazy. I bet your actions are embarrassing your DD.
It's an expensive mistake, but you have learnt a lesson from it

Cinnabin · 07/03/2020 13:24

I don't understand why you're getting such a negative reaction. Verbal agreements are absolutely enforceable, and it seems you have good evidence that such an agreement existed (text exchange with your daughter) I'm no expert, but it seems to me you'd have a very good chance. If I were you, I would definitely go the small claims route.

OhCaptain · 07/03/2020 13:27

The text exchange proves nothing.

If the exchange had been between the OP and the boy then that’d be different.

Anyway she seems to think that she can sue for the cost of the holiday but not hand over the booking details 😂😂😂

Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 13:28

@Cinnabin that's Mumsnet for you. You have to be prepared for an onslaught of messages like you see on here to then be able to sift out a few helpful and sensible ones. And by that I don't mean just messages that agree with me.

OP posts:
Nekoness · 07/03/2020 13:36

“Verbal agreements are absolutely enforceable, and it seems you have good evidence that such an agreement existed ”

They are but she doesn’t have a verbal agreement. Court asks... Did you agree to pay for the holiday? “Yes but...”. That’s a verbal agreement. “No, I thought it was a gift” That is not a verbal agreement. He’s already said he believes there was no agreement for the first holiday. He’s only agreed to pay airfare of £200 for a 2nd trip in writing.

I suspect the OP has been sending him lots of texts and has been asked to stop, which is why the other parent has stepped in. Harassment is a good reason for the parent to show up at small claims with him and then counter claim losing a day’s pay. How much would that be again on that 200k job, OP?

Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 13:37

There's been no harassment.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 07/03/2020 13:38

I sent one text and his reply was to speak to his mother.

OP posts:
datasgingercatspot · 07/03/2020 13:41

Don't see why you are even asking because you've already decided this young man should pay up (but not get to go) and that you need to go to court over this. He has the right to go if he pays.

Soontobe60 · 07/03/2020 13:45

His parents are so well off that £1400 is just 4 % of their monthly take home pay.
Now you’re being silly OP. No way do you know what their monthly take home pay is! If you believe them to be loaded why did you offer to pay for some of his holiday?

MadeForThis · 07/03/2020 13:49

Texts from your dd stating that her bf is intending to pay got the holiday is not evidence. You would need texts directly from him to stand a chance in court.

However if he paid in full for the holiday then he would be entitled to use his ticket.

Wallywobbles · 07/03/2020 13:53

Flights and bookings are becoming suddenly very transferable with CV. My non refundable non exchangeable tickets changed themselves yesterday.

notasportymum · 07/03/2020 13:55

I think some posters got lost on their way to AIBU and haven't noticed this is the legal board.

OP can issue a claim through court. The debtor may counter, or have to pay up. OP may lose and have to pay costs on top.
OP can try and take someone else and change the name on the booking.
OP can drop the whole thing and take it on the chin.

3luckystars · 07/03/2020 14:02

Let it go.

Have you got anxiety or additional needs yourself? No need to answer here but if you do maybe run this by a family member or your counseller in real life who knows the situation and knows you, and can advise you better.
There must be more to this than we know because most people would either transfer the booking (which is definitely possible on the accomodation element of it anyway) or would let it go.

I know you are angry and nobody can blame you, but just be glad she did not stay with him and move on. Don't hold on to the anger. Good luck.

3luckystars · 07/03/2020 14:05

Sorry I meant to say that my friend went to the small claims court, (it's a 2000 maximum here) she claimed for that, ended up with 1000 and it was an awful lot of hassle and she said it wasnt worth it. She got no apology.

Sorry you are going through this and I'm sorry your daughter is too. Best wishes.

Tessaraqt · 07/03/2020 14:05

OP, I know you are angry and it feels like it's the principle, but if you did win in small claims and he had to pay for the holiday, he absolutely would be able to insist on his right to go on the holiday he paid for. Legally, you can't make him pay for a holiday and refuse to allow him to go. If you persue this and make him pay but didn't give him the details, he could take you to small claims for his money back. It's not worth the hassle - at the end of the day you don't want him on the holiday, so cut your losses.

ChicCroissant · 07/03/2020 14:07

You've had legal advice AND someone else's personal experience of the same thing on page three of this thread OP.

SouthWestmom · 07/03/2020 14:43

Can you not just send a dignified message to say that you booked in good faith and are out of pocket and will he consider paying?

But you'd have to be sure your dd didn't do anything to cause the break up (cheat/ attack him/ whatever) through poor behaviour and have a response for why someone else can't pay to go.

Still - £700000 gross more or less to take that home. Wish I'd had better careers advice.

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