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Original poster

Social services trying to get my kids adopted

234 replies

Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:06

Please don't judge me I dont really have no one to talk to I've been going through a court battle since June last year foghti g to keep my kids and everytime the judge Sat's they don't meet the threshold I recently joined a dating website out of stress and boredom I started talking to a guy and invited him to my house ss found out and
Threatened to go back to court to get my kids into care my final hearing is 6 weeks away and I'm scared I will lose my kids

OP posts:
youaremyrain · 31/03/2019 21:07

What are SS's concerns?
How long after meeting this man in person before you invited him to the house?

LovingLola · 31/03/2019 21:09

How old are your children?

NoSquirrels · 31/03/2019 21:09

Why were your DC taken into care? What steps have you taken to address concerns?

Dating is a bad idea if you have any history of poor relationships and that’s why the DC were taken. They need to see you are 100% committed to being a mother, not a lover/someone’s partner.

Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:10

3 weeks I was in a dv relationship previously but we broke up and I have been under the microscope since

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 31/03/2019 21:10

Or are your DC still living with you at the moment?

Lougle · 31/03/2019 21:10

Have social services got concerns that you put your children at risk through the men you are with? I expect that inviting a man you didn't know to your house is quite worrying to SS. What have you said to them? Have you said that you realise it was a bad decision?

I'm sorry you're facing this. I hope the court makes the right decision for your children Flowers

IvanaPee · 31/03/2019 21:11

Why did you invite a stranger to your house with your children there?

What compelled you to do that knowing that SS have concerns?

It sounds very serious. Are you getting counselling?

I don’t ask to be harsh, I ask because I feel like you need to know why you would do this??

Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:12

I haven't seen him since and have told them it will not happen again as I've been working hard to be the best mum I can and thanks

OP posts:
Mooey89 · 31/03/2019 21:13

Where are the children now?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/03/2019 21:14

Ok you have just left a DV relationship that Involved children and have SS involvement. You have zero time or space for dating. That’s reality. No dating. None. Every single bit of energy you have must go into complying with social services and doing everything exactly as they say.

MadameAnchou · 31/03/2019 21:15

Erm, so stop dating.

Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:15

I've tried to refer myself for counselling with no luck have been under alot of stress and yes I realise now I shouldn't have done it that's why I said at the top please don't judge because I. Feel bad enough as it is

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:16

They live with me on an interim care order

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:17

It's not dating it was just once and I said at the top please don't judge

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:18

I have been single since June and I saw him more like a friend

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/03/2019 21:18

Nobody is judging. They’re telling you why SS are concerned (you put your Dc at risk by inviting a stranger into your home) and what you need to do. (Comply with SS)

IvanaPee · 31/03/2019 21:19

@Mum I don’t ask to judge but honestly, if you get bored read a book or binge watch something on Netflix. Don’t invite strange men to the house where your children live!

LIZS · 31/03/2019 21:20

How recent was dv episode? Ss do not want to take children away, or try to have them adopted, unless there are serious concerns about their safety and wellbeing and your ability to prioritise their needs. What specific measures have they given you to meet? Did the dc witness dv and ss are perhaps wary of relationships as a result.

abeautifulmess1234 · 31/03/2019 21:21

Why are they worried about the kids in the first place? What concerns do they have x

OldAndWornOut · 31/03/2019 21:21

Your court battle started in June last year which is also when you had the man round?
Well, it does sound as if you need guidance.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 31/03/2019 21:22

No one is judging you. Honestly. Just trying to understand what's been going on.

So each hearing the judge thinks the threshold hasn't been met. That's good. Have you been told what to work on.

Dating and bringing someone you've only known 3 weeks into the house wasn't a good move but you know that. Had the children met him during that 3 week dating period? If not then at least you can emphasise that momentary lapse in judgement etc.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/03/2019 21:22

No I think the DV relationship ended in June and that’s when SS got involved. I’m guessing the police were involved.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/03/2019 21:22

New man is recent

Original poster
Mumofallboys · 31/03/2019 21:23

I've been single since June I have been complying with them and I realise now I shouldn't have done that but I don't know how to prove to them that it won't happen again

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 31/03/2019 21:23

OK, kids are still with you, great.

What are SS asking that you do (and do not do)?

Do you understand why they’re involved and what they need to see?