Social services trying to get my kids adopted

[Mumofallboys]

Please don't judge me I dont really have no one to talk to I've been going through a court battle since June last year foghti g to keep my kids and everytime the judge Sat's they don't meet the threshold I recently joined a dating website out of stress and boredom I started talking to a guy and invited him to my house ss found out and
Threatened to go back to court to get my kids into care my final hearing is 6 weeks away and I'm scared I will lose my kids

2 dv relationships

Before the “7 years” update I was going to post that it was likely a case of persistent/ongoing poor parenting and decisions on OPs part that have created severe behavioural issues for the child in foster care and concern that OP has learned no lessons to prevent that happening with the 2 year old.

Having now learned that SS have been involved for 7 years that has included 2 DV relationships and a recent episode of inviting a complete stranger into her home I have no doubt in my mind that I am right and that everyone on this thread is wasting their time. 7 years involvement means OP has not and will not do what needs to be done to protect her children. We don’t need the full story here. It’s pretty obvious the DV from her Ex is not the issue.

my kids are happy and safe if I thought they were at risk I would call the police myself

I think therein lies the problem. Your perception of what is normal, acceptable and in the best interests of your children is skewed, due to your past pattern of relationships and perhaps your sn. Did you have a difficult childhood? Your recent misjudgement over bringing a man you had never met before into your hime with children present, even if not awake, highlights this and in particular that you have not been more cautious following previous dv. You continued to have more children despite ss earlier involvement. How long ago was your elder child removed?

Your posts demonstrate not only a sense of feeling lonely but also a lack of insight into your situation and how your choices may impact on your children. Ss do not want to remove children permanently, older children are difficult to adopt, especially those with additional needs or behavioural issues, but their needs are what is paramount. Who is advocating and advising you independently of ss?

Blimey, why on earth did my comment get deleted! It wasn't nasty or mean.

Op, social services must believe your children are at significant risk and that this will not change, that could be from neglect to even violence, or even both, but they don't permanently remove children unless there is a very strong case to do so.

What do you mean when yiu say they don't meet the threshold?

This isn't a dig, but you need to recognise that what you think is ok is actually wrong.

So many factors in life can influence the way we view things and what we deem to be normal.

I would advise you to stop trusting yourself. When a situation arises, don't think about your own opinion, think about what social services would expect of you. After 7 years you are possibly very close to losing your children.

They didn't meet the threshold for Foster care

Do you see your son in care?

They didn't meet the threshold for Foster care

But one of them IS in foster care

@Mumofallboys

If you want us to try and help, can you please answer the questions asked.

How did SS find out about the stranger visiting?
And how many children live with you?

Op you need to be honest and clear about what on Earth has happened if you want advice on here

Everyone is wasting their time here. Come on. 7 years of SS support, her children are re in the verge of being removed and you think she’ll listen to some MNers?

we kissed and he gave me a love bite which I obviously couldn't cover up

he meets the threshold as I couldn't control him

So how did it all start OP? What happened over the past 7 years? You can't keep giving little bits of info and expect sound advice?

I was asking not to be judged I feel bad enough as it is I have tried referring myself for counselling with no luck

I'm not judging you. Just asking for a timeline of what happened from the birth of your children until now?

I was in a dv relationship I got out of it a year later I met a guy after another year got pregnant then he started being emotionally abusive so I got out of the relationship again as court proceedings started last June

Why didn't you get the counselling? What did they say?

Social services must think the children are unsafe, there's a reason for this. What is it?

Op, I'm not sure how people can help you. The authorities will have explained to yiu what's occurring, and why. Forced adoption is always the last resort and is due to the risk children face, that they can not be safely raised in the family home.

This isn't about you inviting a random man to your home with the kids asleep, although this won't have helped. Are they maybe suspicious it was your violent partner you'd allowed back?

You don't need to tell the whole story here, but if they have moved to forced adoption after seven years of involvement then they would have explained why. If you genuinely don't understand, then possibly with your solicitor try to seek further clarification. However I suspect you do understand.

due to my past relationships and my son is 2 he has tantrums sometimes and they think I can't manage with 2 kids on my own

Sorry about the DV. You need to avoid men completely but there must be more to it. Why do they think your kids are at risk right now?

Are you in contact with the son in foster care?

Why do they think you can't manage on your own ? Have the kids been subject to neglect?

my ex partner broke a non molestation order and sw found him in my home but I been having phone checks etc to prove I've had no contact with him

at risk of emotional harm according to them I've been diagnosed autistic which doesn't help either so I'm trying to learn other ways what my children want