Thank you LakieLady LilyWasThere. The way the council, have handled my case so far has really upset me, all that waiting by the phone only for them to put the phone down, then refuse to speak to me when I called straight back was awful. It's also made me panic- if they are acting that way now, how on earth will they treat us when we urgently need a roof over our heads? But I can't prove they did that with the calls. the only thing the housing officer had when I saw her was an automated print out of all the calls they allegedly tried to make. The only thing I can think of is that they rang the number, but not long enough for it to ring this end. The times we managed to answer it, it was put straight down, but I can't prove that. There were no missed calls on my mobile and I took screenshots of that, but they could say I deleted them. They have made me sick with worry by saying we will be miles away from the area because high court enforcement officers give no notice of when they will get there. What if my children are there alone when it happens? I would likely be working on a ward and won't necessarily be able to rush straight home. How will I get my children to scholol and get to Uni if we are miles away? Why can't they house us a couple of days or so after the warrant is given and save my children the trauma of big burly men turning up to boot us out. Because it really will scare them, it's not so long since we all had to hide behind the sofa and call the police when my ex used to come round and kick our door in. Twice he managed it, and once he went round the house smashing the windows, TV, even DC'd Wii, TV and playstaion. He grabbed my oldest DS by the throat, threw a bottle at my head even though I was holding our youngest DD which smashed on the wall behind us. We were terrified. That time it took 45 minutes for police to get here. My youngest DC was so scared that time she wet herself. I don't want them reminded of all that, it has taken them years to recover and some of their mental scars will probably never heal completely. We lived in fear of that man for a long time, even after an injunction he used to still beeb his car when he drove past just to let us know he was there. He used to email me threats. I know it probably sounds dramatic and ridiculous but all this with the landlord's threats and soon the threat of bailiffs is making me feel like I used to back then, constantly on edge.
My local council (Medway) are notorious. They refused to give street homeless people a bed for the night when the temperatures were at a minus a while back, which by law they are supposed to do. The reason they gave was that they could not prove they were homelss??!! 5 people died on the streets in this area last winter (only 2 made the paper, but a council worker told me the number was 5. They were in the paper for the amount of fines they were getting because they were not even replying to the ombusman in the way they are supposed to. That is how much they care about people's welfare. During my appointment with the housing officer another staff member was with her writing down everything i said which unnerved me too, it felt like they were trying to catch me out on something :(.
I am really hoping that the CAB case worker I will have will help advocate with the council for me. I would also like to complain about the time it took them to issue the home bond when I first contacted them 3 days after I was served noticed. If they acted then, I would have been on the waiting list for a private rent for 6 weeks and more and they may have been able to find something. As it stands, none of them have a suitable property a available and I am way down on the waiting list if one becomes available. But I am scared to complain in case they make things even harder for me or put me in one of their worst properties in a really dodgy area. It seems the housing officers will have a lot of power over us and where we may end up, and I am scared that if I cause trouble, they will abuse that power.
I hate all this. I am so scared. DS4 is starting to pick up on it all and his behaviour is going downhill again. I had to bring him home from the park today as he had a massive meltdown, he hadn't done that for a while. He is barely sleeping again, he has been going 2 or more days with no sleep whatsoever and when he's awake he disturbs me constantly (I have to keep him in my room to keep an eye on him as in the past he found knives and matches downstairs and cut and burnt his arms so he wouldn't have to go to school).. It is awful to see him going dowbnhill again when he was doing so well, but any changes in routine unsettle him- he has all his stuff lined up in his room and won't let me touch it let along pack it up. I hear DS3 crying about his friend when he is in bed. He will have to get through the funeral next week as well. I feel so awful and guilty that he is going to have to go through all this upheval as well as cope with the death of his best friend, and cope with his GCSE's as well. He keeps having panic attacks and will barely eat as he says he is scared he will choke. I feel so sorry for him, but what can I do? I can't bring his friend back :(. I am trying to help him organise a sponsored walk for his family, but I haven't been able to help with that as much as I would have liked because of all this to deal with, exams coming up etc etc
All the DC's are worried. They keep asking me where we are going to go and what will happen to them but I have no answers or reassurance to give them. I am dreading us all being in one room, DC4 will keep everyone awake all night, and all of them will be terrified of having to share a kitchen and bathroom with strangers, especially men. There have been so many complaints about the b and b's and temporary accomodation round here- mice, rats, filthy rooms full of rubbish and half empty food, filthy toilets, drug dealers visiting and people smoking crack etc. The thought of having to take my DC's somewhere like that makes me feel sick with anxiety, as does the thought of sharing one room when DC4 just does not sleep.
Anyway, sorry to rattle on and for the sob story but I am so worried and fed up. All I want to do is get on with my degree, look after DS4, help DS3 through his bereavement, give my DD stability whilst she does the A levels she has worked so hard for, and protect DD2 - she was recently bullied so badly by a group of girls I had to get the police involved. But I can't do any of that properly, my mind is just constantly worrying about what is going to happen to us and I feel like I have let them down.
I have asked everyone I can possibly think of to see if they know anyone who could help, but every lead I have been given has come to a dead end. Even the ads on gumtree etc all say no DSS and no pets. The lettings agencies I phoned dismissed me straight away because of my poor credit rating. The very few who consider people on benefits have asked for a guarantor, but I don't have one. I feel like I am being punished almost for debts I accrued because with the benefit cap/ reduction of LHA and lack of income when I had to leave work to care for my son (when he was refusing school) after my ex went I simply did not have the money to pay them after my rent, food and council tax. Yet I have been a good tenant, I look after my homes well, don't bother the LL's with minor repairs and pay my rent on time ( except for the times HB kept freezing my claim for weeks when my circumstances kept changing). I don't even want to stay here any longer, it doesn't feel like home anymore, and looking out the windows at the lovely fields, river and horses upsets me so much now I know that soon we will not have all that around us. The DC's wont be able to go out the door and go on their bikes/ play football in the countryside like they can now and that makes me really sad. All this may sound daft and entitled, but it is how I feel. I also feel guilty as I wonder whether their decision to sell was influenced by the times benefit delays etc meant I couldn't pay the rent on time. I wish now that somehow I had got hold of the money to cover the rent on time. The landlady told me the reason they are selling is because the tax relief being scrapped means that it would cost them money to keep me here. But I offered to cover the extra money and that was refused. And when I spoke to the landlord he was really scathing about the times the rent was delayed, even though I always kept them informed and paid as soon as the money came through, and they seemed OK about it at the time. I've also since found out they rent out other properties, but it is just this they are selling. They say it is because this is the most expensive, and they will make a fortune on the sale, but I still wonder why they could have kept us here, or at least given us more notice to go like they promised they would :(
Hope all this makes sense. If anyone gets this far, well done ;). But writing all this out and having a bit of a rant does actually make me feel better, that some people at least are on my side and care about what happens to us. I really am so grateful for the lovely people on here who have taken the time to give me such good advice and support. It really does mean a lot to me :).