Anyone legal around, any advice at all? Please, please help...

[demonchilde]

Hello all. Sorry if the thread title is a bit dramatic, I'm usually pretty resilient and keep things together but I am at my wits end, I really am. I'll try and paraphrase to avoid an essay.

I'm a lone parent to 6, 4 living at home with me still. Ex was violent, leaving me with depression, anxiety and PTSD. My children suffered the same. DS (18) has a history of self harm. She about to start her A levels (18). DS4 (11) suffers from ASD - history of self harm, sever meltdowns and pretty much missed the last 2 years of Junior school as he refused to go. He reacts really badly to even the slightest change in routine. He has now been settled at secondary since last September- attendance currently at 96% I am a student Nurse on the last intake before the bursary is stopped. I have wanted to do nursing all my life, so this is my last chance as I wouldn't be eligible for a student loan.

DS (13) is doing well but has a history of anxiety and panic attacks. He is being referred for counsellling at his school. Tragically, his best friend who he has known since nursery has just lost his battle with brain cancer. We are all devastated. He is not coping well. I have got him involved with fund raising (sponsored walk) I am helping arrange in the hope this will help him. I am trying to be strong so I can help him but am finding it so upsetting as well. He was a lovely, lovely lad and I can't believe life has been this cruel.

Landlord served me with a section 21 that expires next week. They are selling. We have been here 8 years and we love it here. I have spent the last 7 weeks trying desperately to find somewhere else but it is pointless. Rental prices have rocketed round here, there is a high demand for properties and people waiting. None will take partial HB, a lone parent with a poor credit history. I have no guarantor.

I contacted the council housing team way back in February. They gave me a runaround with the paperwork they said they needed, but finally said they had the info needed a month ago. They then booked me in for a telephone interview with a housing officer. They then postponed it twice due to staff sickness. Today is the 3rd day I have waited in all day for a phone interview ( my mobile keeps freezing). It is the 3rd time the phone has rung twice, only to be put straight down their other end. Each time it has happened I have rung their call centre straight back, only to be told they called several times and got no answer. They are lying. Every time I was next to the phone. My mobile didn't ring either. I am on hospital placement for the next few weeks working 3 13 hour shifts a week. I am having to take days off to wait for these calls. I am going to need to make these hours up somehow. I have now been told I have to wait all day Thursday for a callback to reshedule this once again. The 5th time. I have tried to go to the contact centre, only to be told the housing officers don't work from there and no one can speak to me. Spoke to shelter. They referred me to the civil advice people who can't help much now.

I am well aware I am going to be put into a b and b with my children all in one room indefininitely. I don't know how we will cope- my son doesn't sleep. All my children are extremely wary of strangers yet we will have to share a bathroom with up to 7 other families/ groups. I was sort of preparing for this but now I am so scared - if the council are treating us this badly before we're even on the streets, how are they going to act when we need a roof over our heads? Will they lie about things and ignore us then as well so we are trapped there for years.

My landlord is ruthless- he will be going straight to court and then will transfer it to high court bailiffs meaning the eviction will be quicker, plus they will not have to give any notice they are arriving. I am scared I will be at work or Uni (exams coming up) and my children will be here alone when they come. They will be petrified- their Dad used to boot the door in, they remember all that. Landlord has made implied threats whenever I have spoken to him.

I'm trying to be strong but I can't stop crying. I feel I have let my children down. I am scared of what is going to happen to us and how we will cope. What has happened to my friend's son is constantly on my mind - it's just beyond awful. And now all this. If anyone can help, then please - I really could do with it. I'm out of ideas completely, but I need to find a way to be strong enough to help my children through this. I need to find a way to cope for them - they only have me to fight for them. I apologise for any spelling, grammar errors- having to type this mega quick so I can go out with DS's to put some posters up in shops etc. But bloodyhell, all this is starting to seem like a nightmare. I don't know what to do, I really don't.

Can you message me privately where you are? I may be able to help .

Another recommendation to go to your Uni student union help/welfare for advice, and definitely discuss with your uni tutor; also maybe ask what the situation would be for the bursary if you had to suspend your studies for a year to get sorted. Got a feeling there maybe some sort of nursing body that can help with welfare issues too- try the RCN website perhaps? Wishing you all the best

Like a previous poster said once the s21 has expired they still have to apply to court and then request a warrant. You will be updated by the landlord and the courts about dates for all of this and nothing will happen quickly even with accelerated possession. The local authorities usually have a team that do something like a rent deposit scheme which is where the council vet landlords willing to rent their properties on a long term basis to people in receipt of housing benefit and pay your deposit. Priority is usually given to people who have been given notice although the landlords get to meet you and decide if they want you to live there. You may also be given priority as a key worker although as you're still studying I'm not sure. It's unlikely you'd have to go into a bnb, that's a last resort and expensive for the council. You can still be on the housing register for a permanent home even if you go into private rented if they deem you eligible providing they don't discharge their duty to you, check this at the time.

With regards to the problem of them getting back to you ask to speak to a supervisor in the call centre and have the issue escalated. If they don't help send an official complaint.

I know its really stressful, especially considering everything that you've got going on at the moment but it will be fine. Once you speak to a housing officer they will see you are a genuine case and will want to help. You've still got plenty of time and no one is going to surprise you by throwing you out, you'll be informed every step of the way.

You'll soon be living in a new home hopefully with a better landlord and this will be a distant memory. Try not to stress, it will be fine. X

Demonchilde I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I have nothing more to add (wish I did) other than what a few posters have in that write to your MP (they are employed by us and should help)

I wonder if social services could help in your case? (I know they're demonised by some on mumsnet but IME (professional admittedly) they can open doors and can be a valuable support to parents in a desperate situation.

I really wish you the very best of luck and hope everything works out for you - and bugger MN ettiquette and how it's took the pee out of/frowned upon - a huge hug x

Didn't want to read and run but I'm hopelessly out of my depth and some other pp have given brilliant advice.

I was only going to say - about your cat - there are some foster places that place pets for exactly this situation. I'll see if I can find their name. But if not, and you're anywhere near me, I'd be happy to take him/her in till you get sorted.

Take care.

Just a thought - would the council have an ombudsman? When I went through the CSA (as it wa ds called then) because of their incompetence there was an offical ombudsman to report the to - I received compensation as well as an apology. And as soon as I'd contacted the ombudsman they couldn't pick up the phone quick enough! x

Are you a member of a nursing union? They have hardship funds. So do universities. It's worth asking.

There is a local govt ombudsman, but it's only for last resorts after you've exhausted all other complaints procedures, which naturally OP hasn't had chance to do.

However sadly it's v v v common for councils to refuse to rehome you until the landlord gets a consent order, as they are so short on housing and they know full well it will take a couple of months to get the order. Added stress for the tenant; added cost for the landlord; tying up the courts with people who don't want to be there!

Urgh, possession order, NOT consent order. In fact if it's by consent then they probably won't house you at all as they'll say you left voluntarily!

So sorry you're going through this dreadful time, OP.

Re your studies - please do let your tutors know what's going on, if they know you have difficulties then if you need essay extensions etc that can be organised.

It makes me so angry that there's so little help for you when you just need a bit of support while you're getting your qualification.

Hope that at least one of the suggestions here bears fruit.

There's lots of great advice here and I wanted to add that I think you should approach your tutor or Student union first. Tell them everything, im sure they will try to help you.

Also wanted to add you sound like an amazing mum- you may not feel like it at the moment but my goodness you are. I'm sure your dc know this and know you're trying to do what's best so please stop feeling so bad.

You poor bugger OP. What a horrid situation to be in and non of it your fault.

Definitely get your MP involved. Asap. They should put a rocket up the councils arse.

Next see if there are any local advice places. They can sometimes help. Do you have a local salvation army? I know they are religious and that might not be your thing but in our area they are incredibly helpful.

Plus do everything everyone else has said.I would also contact ss. They will definitely be able to put pressure on the council.

OP please contact the Cavell Nurses Trust. Their details are here. They are a charity specifically targeted at nurses and they will give grants to student nurses in exceptional circumstances. I'm pretty sure if you explain everything they'll see that you're in such circumstances.

I'd also discuss with your tutor whether you would lose your bursary if you took a break from your studies. You may not if it is considered a continuation of your studies rather than restarting.

Hi OP
I have been in a very similar situation to yourself. Had to leave rented accommodation through no fault of my own, heavily pregnant with a disabled dc. The council first of all didnt seem to take it very seriously and once i was issued with a S.21 they did seem to become better. Do you have an occupational therapist involved for any of your DC? Or someone who knows ur children well enough to state that there is no way that they would be safe in a B & B. As this is what happened in my situation. My landlord also wanted me out there and then and my housing officer actually rang and said i wanted to be housed and they were moving as quick as they could. About a week later i had a phonecall to say i was being offered a house and although it needed a lot of work it feels like home now and i feel and felt so lucky at the time. The main thing is to not give up and be persistent. Write a list of things that you need to do.
1: Ring Occupational therapist/Paed etc to get an assessment to say that a B and B or temporary accommodation would be unsuitable and unsafe for your children
2: Go to council, don't wait for a phonecall with the evidence and speak to someone senior
3: Ring your landlord and explain situation and you are doing all you can. MAKE SURE YOU CONTINUE TO PAY YOUR RENT as otherwise the council can deem you are making yourself intentionally homeless and you are being uncooperative.
4: Ring or go to the council every single day
Hopefully it won't take to long. Often they hope you give up, in my situation i didnt because i knew my DC would not be able to cope or be safe in temp accommodation so had to do something. Hope this helps

Also the average waiting list for a council property is around 2 years even in the highet priority band and medium to high 7 years, but we were took off the list and altogether was around 4 months so they can take exceptional circumstances into account. My DC needed disabled adaptions which couldn't be made to temporary accommodation so they had to do something sooner. Was one of the most stressful times of my life and i think contributed in the end to my second dc being premature but i had no alternative.

Hello all - thanks again so much for the support and the many helpful suggestions.

I was phoned yesterday and booked in for another telephone interview with a housing officer. Given how they put the phone down every time before then were 'busy' when I phoned straight back, I asked for a face to face interview. Very disorganised. Had to wait 2 hours to see anyone. When I did speak, she didn't have acccess to any of the many documents/ medical evidence I had already provided so I had to provide all that info again. Ironically, I was told that this should have been dealt with sooner. She then produced a phone log of every time they had phoned and couldn't get through every time- told me it records every outgoing call they make. Explained that it was not true - that i answered every time, only to be cut straight off. Clearly wasn't believed,a lthough I did mention I had screen shots of all the times they allegedly called my mobile- they show no misseed calls. Also explained that I phoned straight back each time only to be told the housing officer wasn't available, despite the fact that they were supposed to have allocated me 45 minutes for the interview. This council is known for very underhand practices and so on. This is a council who refused to provide emergency shelter for the street homeless back when the temperatures were sub zero. 5 people died on the streets as a result. It worries me so much how they treat people, it really does.

Anyway, the outcome was that I was offered a homebond etc to find a property to private rent. I have phoned 5 of the 7 landlords on the list they provided. None have anything available at all. Not promising. I was told that I cannot make a homeless application until we are literally on the streets. I was also told that because high court officers will be doing the eviction ( who do not give a date for eviction- they just turn up the council will have no chance to prepare any accomodation for us, meaning will likely be placed well out of the area. But I desperately will need to get to Uni, DS4 to the same school (because of his ASD - a move wold be catastrophic for his well being - he can't cope with change, or being the 'new boy' again. He also gets bullied a lot, especially because of his weight ( he eats compulsively - I have asked for help with this but the Dr said there is nowhere to refer him too :(

So anyway- I am worried as hell. I was told we could be in b and b/ temp accomodatio for years. I don't know how on earth I am going to cope with that. We will all be in one room. DS4 doesn't sleep. he needs order and his own space or his behaviour deteriorates massively - he is already going down hill beacuse of all the chaos going on.

Sorry if I sound negative, but I am scared. Really scared about what is going to happen to us all. I have been referred to a case worker at the CAB who I am seeing Monday. I'm not sure what help this will be, or the role they will play.

I have contacted the nurses trust as suggested. I have also made an appointment with my GP and am going to ask if he could do a letter to outline the effect all this could well have on both my mental health and DS4's. And also how detrimental all this could well be to DS3's GCSE's, DD!'s a levels etc.

Sorry if all this is a bit waffly. I have had no sleep for 2 days now, partly because of my Uni work and also because DS4 has not been sleeping well at all and keeps disturbing me throughout the night.

So anyway- it looks like all this is going to get so much worse before it gets better. I'm hoping so much I get through it with my mental health intact, without having to give up my degree and without it affecting my children too much. I know I'm being negative but at the moment that doesn't look likely. It's making me so unhappy - all I'm asking for is a roof over our heads, and the security and stability we all need if we have any chance of getting through the next few months/years unscathed ( if that makes sense).

Thank you again for listening and making me feel like we do actually matter. I hate feeling this helpless, and I hate being unable to solve all this and protect my children from any fallout. All I'm really asking is that we can maybe be moved out before bailiffs come here throwing their weight around and scaring my kids (and me). Why is that so much to ask, especially considering I have done nothing wrong and none of this is my doing. It's horrible.

If there is no court order yet, you are weeks and weeks away from bailiffs. It would be a criminal offence to tip you out without a court order. Did you get anyone to look at the section 21? It's a reasonably high chance the landlord fucked it up, loads of them do!

The council will have to rehouse you when you have a court order. I suggest making as much of a nuisance of yourself with them as you can, until they accept that they have to find you somewhere. Have you tried the local press - or would you hate that?

If the degree is adding additional stress, you can always put it hold for a year, just while you're getting back your feet

Sorry you're going through all this

Is there anyone at ds's school who might be able to help? I don't know - just to keep him there and keep that stability. I often have one of dcs friends round for tea as his mum is sometimes called out for work at very short notice.

Does anyone else know of what's happening? If I knew a friend/neighbour/dcs friends were going through this nightmare id be offering whatever help I could.

I'm sorry I'm a bit rubbish on the legal/housing stuff. Hoping to bump this up so someone more useful can come along X

I had to leave my flat when my landlord served a section 21 on me. My DS has ASD and I have severe MH issues so I know it's especially hard if you have those difficulties. My advice is to call Shelter for advice, and also MIND and the NAS. If you have a social worker, they can also help. I struggled with direct contact with my council but my social worker was brilliant for advocating on my behalf. She managed to get us bumped up the list for a council flat even though we are in a London borough where waiting lists are years long. Have a look at your council's website to check their lettings policy. Don't get fobbed off with a private rental - you could end up in the same situation a few years down the line if your new landlord decides to serve notice. A council flat might not be in the best of locations but at least it's secure and the rent will always be manageable, so it's worth holding out for it even if you have to go through some short term pain.

I also got my DS's specialists and my psych to write reports - get supporting evidence from everyone you can, consultants are better than GPs if possible. We did have to stay in a B&B but thankfully just for 3 months. I had to store my stuff at my Mum's and we just about coped as I would pop around to her house every day (including to shower - couldn't stand the shared bathrooms there) and just slept at the B&B.

Have you written to your mp yet?

Contact your local councillors too. They can put pressure on the housing department for you.

Thank you all again- this thread has been a real lifeline to me regarding all this. I don't have a big group of friends in RL, my ex hated me having friends and I lost contact with so many. I also isolated myself a lot when I was had the depression/ PTSD, plus I find it very hard to trust and confide in people. The few I have left have been supportive but obviously we are all busy and I don't like to make a nuisance of myself. It's not even losing the house as such really that I'm finding so hard ( though we love it here so much) it's the loss of security if that makes sense. It's how safe we have felt here because the area is so quiet. I still find crowds, people shouting ( even if it's in jest) etc really difficult, and being able to come back here has been a retreat from all that - somewhere safe.

applebite- thank you. I did speak to a legal advisor about the section 21- I will speak to the case worker I've been allocated at the CAB about it on Monday as well ( not sure what they do really though or if a solicitor would be better?). Section 21 all seems in order, however it's looking unlikely that they invested my deposit in one of the schemes- I don't remember getting the details of one, nor have they provided a copy when I asked a while back. However, when the landlady came round to tell me they would be selling, she brought round a form asking permission to take the 3 weeks rent arrears I was in (HB delay at the time) off the deposit then handed me an envelope containing the remaining £670. At first I refused to sign the form, but then she said it was only to give permission to agree to take the money owed off the deposit which seemed like a good idea at the time. She also said she was only doing it to try and help ensure I had some cash towards the deposit for a new place. I wish I hadn't signed now though. The landlord said he will be applying straight to court This Monday for an accelerated possession order. At the councils suggestion I rang the court on Friday to ask what the delay was like at the m moment, and was told they were pretty quiet just now so it shouldn't take too long to get a court date (bloody typical!). As I understand it from then we have 14 days to make a defence, after which he will ask for any warrant to be transferred to the high court. What I don't get is - the council say it is because high court enforcers give no notice, that gives them no notice to find any local emergency accommodation so we will very likely be a long way out of the area ( wouldn't bother me tbh if it wasn't for the fact I need to get to the DC's schools and my Uni). Thing is though, surely they DO have warning, when the order is issued the council will know the eviction is inevitable and pretty imminent? And why do they have to wait right and till they arrive, knowing how frightened and distressed my DC's will be? It's not even as if I could take the kids to sleep on a friends sofa or something when this is imminent as apparently then I will have made myself intentionally homeless. It is just such a brutal system, that makes kit clear that neither my DC's or my own welfare matters at all.

With regards to the MP - I know that sounds like a good idea but I am worried. He is known for being very far right. He was in the paper a couple of weeks ago pretty much demonising the huge amount of street homeless we have around here, and how people under no circumstances should give them money as this makes their situation even worse (yeah, right..). There was also a case in the papers very recently where some poor lady went to seek advice because her family was severely overcrowded and the council would not help. Far from help, he actually very publicly denounced the lady for having more kids than she could afford, called her a scourge on society, questioned why the 'hard woking' (yawn) should subsidise people like her and so on. So I am cautious on that score. I have always worked, private rented for most of my life and was in 2 long term relationships. Both my older DS's went to Uni and now have good jobs so pay tax etc. However, my 'single mum of 6' status has been something that has proceeded me over the years, I got used to negative looks and comment when out with all of the DC's. Sign of the times I suppose :(. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I do need desperately need people who are on my side and can help, but could really do without being the Daily Mail/ Sun's latest target for a good 'scrounger' story.

I am going to try and get letters from the local autistic trust, and Mind is a good suggestion. I always played any depression down and tried to avoid help, but it really was bad at times. I remember having to lock all the windows then hide the keys as I was terrified I would try and jump out, and I still have liver and kidney damage from an overdose I took when convinced the DC's would be better off without me. I know I mustn't let things ever get that bad again. I'm still on Anti D's but even so, find my mood dipping quite a bit and just want to sleep at times.

I think I may have found a friend who will look after my cat so that is good news. And a friend of my DD's has said she can stay there during her AS levels if need be which is such a help. I still haven't been able to talk to my personal tutor at Uni yet, but am hoping I can next week. If at all possible, I really would like to get through all this whilst still doing my degree. I'm also pretty sure I will lose my bursary if I postpone it, as far as I can see it can only be deferred on maternity grounds.

Spending today packing stuff up- we have been here nearly 8 years and the amount of stuff we have accumulated is crazy. I hate living like this though, surrounded by boxes, worried about the landlord coming round/ sending builders round. And every time I look out the window all I see is all the things we are going to miss so much when we go. Plus I don't even know how I can afford removal costs, or new furniture, as this house was let to us part furnished most of it isn't even ours. I know things could be worse, but still, I just wish life would ease off a bit you know?

Just offering some empathy basically. I went through similar nearly two years ago and the stress it caused was unbelievable. Made me so ill and my Hair fell out. I have two children with ASD too.

Because the landlord was a twat and everything he did was illegal and wrong it took a year from first issue of an incorrect S21 until I finally left. That gave the council time to get us somewhere permenant and he ended up paying me thousands and court costs because of the housing laws he broke. It was a very bleak time but we got through it and you will too. Homelessness is a rollercoaster but there is always an end because there has to be.

Sorry to hear you went through the same toysaurus. Glad to hear you got it all sorted in the end.

My landlord is also a twat, but unfortunately he is also an intelligent twat ;). They have quite a few properties and have apparently been bitten before by mucking up an eviction, and having tenants who stayed for ages and refused to pay rent the whole time, so I'm guessing he is being very careful this time. He also seems to have employed solicitors to deal with it so I'd imagine he is well advised.

It's looking impossible that we would skip emergency and temporary accommodation though. The local council has by far the highest amount of homeless families in the whole county ( and it's a big county). There have 172 families in emergency and b and b accommodation. The average time even for a band A (which we won't be in) is over a year. There is usually a maximum of 1 3 bed property on the local home choice scheme each week. This worries me as the council told me the cost of b and b/ temp accommodation is way above LHA levels meaning I will have to pay a high amount of shortfall. I don't know how I am supposed to afford that, we only just manage to make ends meet now without that. Also, the housing officer told me that most of the local housing authorities will not allow us to bid for 3 bed properties as we would technically be overcrowded whilst my daughter is still at home. There have only been 2 4 bed houses available in the last 8 months, and each of those attracted nearly 100 bids. I was hoping to be able to bid for properties in the adjoining council as the waits there are much less, but am told I'm not allowed to. Apparently, because we are not far out of London, the council is having to take some of the overflow which has made things particularly bad. It's also the reason that demand for local rival rents and their prices have rocketed. Apparently, this and the amount of homeless locally is only going to get worse, and because of this, I don't really want to try and stay in our current house any longer than we have to. I'd rather just go as soon as possible and get all this over with in the hope we can all be settled again before long. But I suppose that is not up to me.

It also seems that the local council/ HA's have put any plans for building new affordable homes on hold for the next couple of years because planning permission for a site they had in mind is being contested. They actually built quite a lot over the last few years to try and keep up with demand. Typical!

Anyway, sorry to sound so negative. I do keep looking for positives, but not finding any ;). But I will just keep plodding on, and somehow try and find time for the kids, my placements and the exams I have coming up. What else can I do really.