Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Can they take my baby away

844 replies

saraheve · 06/01/2017 00:23

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
saraheve · 23/02/2017 08:44

Hi UnbornMortificado I was told im selfish to want separate contact with my son. To want to spend time alone with him. My solicitor doesn't agree so I'm going to talk to him about it. My solicitor told me I should be also receive his school reports as I still have parenting responsibility but I havnt received them

OP posts:
Original poster
saraheve · 23/02/2017 08:50

Yes I agree not having my ex around has helped alot. The ss said soon they will stop supervised contact with my ex and baby and let him come round. I'm trying to explain to them that will be a risk to baby as it's possible we may argue again. At least I have a solicitor who understands I will talk to him soon.

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 23/02/2017 11:25

I fucked up 18 month ago I should of refused his unsupervised contact and I didn't. Shit excuse but my MH just wasn't up to it. It the end a month back my DD could of been physically hurt.

I'd never of forgive my myself for that, I know it's hard especially with SS telling you one thing but I really would fight it with your solicitor.

Youwillnotseeme · 23/02/2017 18:27

It really doesn't sound like a good idea for your ex to come and visit at your house and sounds like it could be the thing that puts you going backwards again, the thing you've worked very hard to do. Talk again to your SW and solicitor and explain you do bot want him in your home and why. You are showing why you can protect your children doing so.

mathanxiety · 23/02/2017 21:02

Saraheve - please, please get a non-molestation order served on your ex to keep him away if there have been any aggression in the past, or threats, or police calls. Talk to your solicitor about how this can be done.

thequeenoftarts · 24/02/2017 21:46

Hey Saraheve, just caught up on your thread, a huge well done you!!!! Everything so far has been positive with regard to SS and your baba, I hope you are feeling so proud of yourself and it gives you the boost you need to keep going xx

Original poster
saraheve · 25/02/2017 09:18

Because we were not getting along previously. Getting a molestation order will not be a good idea as ss want to see us getting along. Ex has excepted were no longer togeather and we are able to be civil for the children's sake. I will try my best for my son not to feel left out now his sisters hear. By giving him extra love and attention and involving him. Im a bit upset today as I found out their moving my son to another foster care placement that I know will be unsettling for him. I'm gonna try to increase my contact with him.

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 25/02/2017 10:05

Sara children's services can make mistakes re: your ex. You (and it's easier said then done) need to put your MH above his feelings. It's you who has to be there and well for your DD, please remember that.

I'm sorry about your son, I think you said he was quite settled in the placement he was at?

Original poster
saraheve · 25/02/2017 10:17

Yes I'm upset his moving it hurts that it must be unsettling for him and im unable to comfort him right now. It just makes me more determined to go my ultimate best to get him bk. I'm going to try to increase the contact

OP posts:
LIZS · 25/02/2017 10:19

Do you know why he is being moved, is it local?

mathanxiety · 25/02/2017 21:54

I wanted to ask what LIZS did, and also if they gave a reason for the move?

Original poster
saraheve · 26/02/2017 09:45

The old foster carer only take children on temporary, he will be local which is good. It's not good him having to get to know new people and new surroundings it must feel unsettling for him. It hurts im unable to be with him when I want to comfort him. I'm going to apply for more contact. But unfortunately can't apply to get him home untill August. I miss him very much

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 26/02/2017 12:03

Your bound too miss him but your doing what you can.

Is keeping him local a good sign? Are you due to see him soon?

(Sorry for the hundred and one questions)

Original poster
saraheve · 26/02/2017 14:13

Yes they want to keep in in the borough so it doesn't effect his schooling as he will still go to same school. The proccedings for baby finishes in July so the social worker for my son said if that is successful social services might discharge care order for my son. If they don't I can go in August and discharge it and I'll have more evidence then behind me that I can look after him well. I know im halfway way as his been In care 6months already and I may have anouther 6months to go but it's killing me that I can't comfort him and express my love to him when I want to. I'm going to try to get more contact. Everything reminds me him. I prey everyday that I'll have both my children with me by Christmas. X

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 26/02/2017 22:08

When my DD's went to my mam and Dad after I was last hospitalised (I send them, SS didn't get involved with having supportive family and a CPN about) I took my DD's home gradually. Just so it wasn't a massive shock to the system going from 0 DC to DC.

Do you think that would be something to aim for if children's services agree? Teething is usually the 6 months mark so between having that to contend with and your DS to settle back home you might have a lot on your plate.

I'm not questioning your being able to cope at all just that a fair few parents (myself included) would find that challenging.

Poorlybabysickday · 04/03/2017 18:59

How are you getting on Sara? I hope you are ok, and that things are still looking up

Original poster
saraheve · 06/03/2017 16:00

Hi yes I'm okay. Babys doing very well. I'm having a psychological and a parenting assessment soon. That im feeling nervous about it hate being examined. And it means so much to me to do well in the assessments. X

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 08/03/2017 14:35

Was just thinking of you Sara, hope everything's still going well.

DearMrDilkington · 12/03/2017 21:00

How's it going sarah? How's baby?Smile

Original poster
saraheve · 14/03/2017 08:06

Hi yes everything is going well and baby is doing extreemly well. I hope and prey my son will come home soon. Ss said if I do well with baby they may discharge my sons care order. So fingers crossed xx

OP posts:
Original poster
saraheve · 14/03/2017 08:07

It won't be till August though. So I need time to hurry up Smile

OP posts:
Afreshstartplease · 14/03/2017 08:10

Wow how amazing would that be! Well done you

tralaaa · 19/03/2017 06:21

Your come so far I'm sure you will get your son home soon well done for remaining strong x

JaniceBattersby · 19/03/2017 12:23

Good for you OP. Keep up the good work xx

DearMrDilkington · 29/03/2017 10:08

Just checking in again to see how you and baby are doing. Hopefully everything is still going well, only a few more months and you might have your ds home!Smile