We're starting to look into seeking custody of 5yo dss. This has been building a long time and when social services got involved we were hopeful that things could progress however things have stalled with them and we feel that we should begin to take matters into our own hands.
Dss lives 100 miles away with his mother who lives a very unstable life. She has no family around her as she has driven them all away, has a history of substance abuse (evidence of which has been found in her house recently), a string of never ending abusive boyfriends and has not been in the same house for more than a few months at a time as she spends her rent money on drugs.
Dss has really been put through the mill and although emotionally he seems to have turned a corner and be improving, his education is suffering as she quite often can't be bothered to take him to school. His attendence is 60% so far this year.
That said, he is always clean and well dressed and I am told the house is spotless which is more than can be said for mine!
I am worried about the unstable nature of his life and his education and also the presence of drugs in the house.
At the moment we live in a nice 2 bedroom house but looking to move. We have 4 yo dd and 6mo dd and the children adore eachother in between the bickering!
The local school that dd attends would be brilliant for him with small classes and loads of one to one attention.
The school he goes to is good but there's only so much they can do if he isn't going!
I know that if he was here he would be so loved and supported and he could achieve so much. I hate the thought of him sitting there on his own with a pot noodle slowly turning into her while his mum screams at her new boyfriend in the kitchen.
Social services have been involved for about 2 years and have decided that despite everything (and that poor boy has seen a LOT) he has not been put at risk enough yet. Yet!
I've encouraged dp to support her but there's only so much he can do from here and she doesn't want to be helped.
I can't sit here and watch a lovely boy be ignored and ruined by a mother who can't/won't look after him.
So if we went for custody now, what would our chances be? I'm not hopeful but we need to try.