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Original poster

social service.

120 replies

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 01:37

Hi there quick post if their is anyone that can help.

SS went to see my child 2 teachers and 2 of them, anyway, he came out with some thing that is not true and i questioned him about it and why he said it, said it was a joke but ss wrote this down and it is on record, will be going to see a soliciter to get this taking off the records as it's not true.

Does anyone know where i stand and if a soliciter will take this up.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:24

Spero - no i'm not going to fight them at all that's what they are waiting for but their is no way in this world i will be all smiles with them after what they have put my children through,sleepness nights i can't eat i'm crying all the time and for what? i have done nothing wrong but they are making me feel like i have.

OP posts:
LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 22:24

They may have a legal obligation to protect children, but they abuse their power. and they are too slow and they fail to help people who ask for help.

The system in Local authorities covers up bad practice. They treat people badly.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:26

Spero - there suspicions can raise but fact is i haven't done anything and they will never find anything no matter how far they dig - apart from as we all know it social workers lie- fact.

OP posts:
LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 22:27

I hope that this government cuts back on the number of social workers.

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 22:30

I hope not Lucinda, the good ones are hard pushed enough to do their job well with their huge caseloads as it is!!

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:33

Let's hope so. while they are wasting their time on me their is a poor child out their been abused :(

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 04/10/2010 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 22:35

How do you recognise a good social worker?

Local authorities manage SS very badly.

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 22:36

how did they get involved in the first place? who called them?

Spero · 04/10/2010 22:37

OK, all you posters carry on as you are.
Make the op believe that ALL social workers are incompetent, evil, child snatching buffoons.

How do you think you are helping her?

They are not going to go away, god knows they will get enough flack if they do walk away and then another child ends up injured and killed.

I am not suggesting the op goes in all smiles and bakes them a cake, of course not, I appreciate this kind of situation is very distressing and destabilising.

But if the op goes into this with the kind of attitude advocated by some of these posters, I suspect she will be in for a very bumpy ride and if I were a social worker it would make me more suspcious.

Get some proper help and advice, not from some idiots on an anoymous internet forum who clearly have their own axes to grind and apparently don;t give much of a shit about helping you.

scurryfunge · 04/10/2010 22:39

I think it is only Lucinda who is being a tit, to be fair.

Spero · 04/10/2010 22:42

Sorry if I am maligning those who don't deserve it - these threads just make me so ANGRY, last one I got sucked into I invited anyone who wanted to to come to court with me and see the REALITY of how carefully courts agonise over decisions regarding children - and how many people wanted to come? Er, that would be none then.

Its fine to vent your ignorant prejudices as much as you like, but NOT when you are encouraging someone to put themselves in a very vulnerable position with people who do have the legal power to remove your children from your care.

They are not all nasty, incompetent liars. That is just plain stupid, bigoted nonsense. Some are fine dedicated professionals, but they get paid shite and have to put up with venoumous and illfounded criticism.

Don't worry, you'll get your wish Lucinda. Soon there won't be any social workers and god help some of the children out there, because no one else will.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:42

Shineon - Eldest has missed alot of school due to his medical problem.

I will try and be as nice as possible, i just don't want them to take my children i would be lost without them, they are all i live for.

OP posts:
LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 22:44

The positive message which I want to put over is "The NEED for OPEN communication here"

The OP needs to ask the social worker leading the investigation to state clearly what it is that they are trying to investigate.

I think one or more of the Children may be a "Child in Need" one of the children may have a medical disability.

My advice to the OP is to ask the social worker to help her apply for DLA for the child, and also to ask for the child to be put on the Children with disabilities register.

Spero · 04/10/2010 22:47

I echo what lucinda says.

You need everything to be set out very clearly. What is the problem, what do they want you to do about it, by what time and most importantly what HELP are they going to give you to get it done?

they really, really don't want to take your children. Foster placements cost tens of thousands per year, care proceedings probably about £100K, there isn't the money.

They have two primary objectives - to keep children safe and to keep them with their families. Sometimes the two objectives conflict and that is what makes their job so difficult.

But try to go into the process as seeing them as people who could help and support you. That will be much more productive for your family and your sanity.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:50

I have been made to feel guilty and i have not done a thing.

Ok thank you Spero.

OP posts:
JuJusDad · 04/10/2010 22:50

IME, SS want to be involved as little as possible unless there is real risk to a child.

Therefore, one incident of a 7 year old saying something which cannot be proven and his mother says is a lie is not going to mean that they want to get involved in your life, nor in the lives of your DC's, sunshines.

Going in there with the attitude of giving one word answers will help you as little as going in with all guns blazing IMO, sunshines.

They are people doing a difficult and stressful job, and trying to make big decisions on little information.

If you can help them come to the decision that your DS told a lie and that you didn't realise you had to attend those workshops, then they'll want to go with that.

SS will want to check things, and will want to look for facts.

Your DS said what he said. It won't be removed from the record, because he said it. What you can do is to talk to SS and show them what you've told us on here - you're a lone parent doing a good job of bringing up your DC's, one of whom is going through a stage of lying, and that you just didn't know about having to go to the workshop.

And what Spero said.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:54

Jusjusdad - Thank you, i think i'm just really messed up don't know what to do, i don't accept help well they are my children, but i will try and work with them- really what choice do i have. Just have to keep my fingers crossed they don't take my kids based on one little boys imagination.

OP posts:
Spero · 04/10/2010 22:55

Please don't feel guilty. The fact that you are a single parent and have come this far is something you should feel proud of.

I can only guess how devastating it must feel to have social services investigating, but try to tell yourself, they are only doing their job, it doesn't necessarily mean you are a bad mother, maybe you just need some help to ride out a rough patch. And there is absolutely no shame in that - the shame is not asking for or accepting help when it is needed.

Spero · 04/10/2010 22:58

They will NOT take your children into care on the basis of what a 7 year old says, unless there is pretty clear supporting evidence.

To get a care order they would have to convince a court that your children have suffered or are at risk of suffering SIGNIFICANT harm - it is a deliberately high standard to reflect the seriousness of the State taking away children from parents.

If they do make a decision to remove children, they have got to send you a letter before action (unless it is an emergency situation, children at risk of immediate physical harm, etc) and you will be entitled to free legal representation.

But don't cross these kind of bridges before you have to.

onadietcokebreak · 04/10/2010 22:59

LucindaCarlisle I am saddened by your view of Social Workers. I dont usually remember names on Mumsnet but yours is one I have remembered from on previous threads (mainly benefit ones) for being judgemental and misinformed.....maybe you would like to walk a day in their shoes.....

LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 23:00

but I asked for help from social services, and they criticised me for asking for that help. They fail to get the appropriate information. They fail to communicate with people. They do not tell people their rights.

onadietcokebreak · 04/10/2010 23:01

Spero I heart you.

Soon there won't be any social workers and god help some of the children out there, because no one else will.

So true!

LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 23:03

Social workers do more harm than good.

Spero · 04/10/2010 23:03

Lucinda, you did give the op some sensible advice so clearly you have the capacity to reason.

So just look again at what you are saying.

You had a bad experience. You were treated badly. You were not told your rights.

How do you extrapolate from that to conclude that 'they' i.e. 'all' social workers are useless.

You do appreciate that you are likely to make things worse for the op with those kind of comments?

I am truly sorry you had a bad experience. But your conclusions aren't valid and could be dangerous when you repeat them to someone who is obviously upset and struggling.