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Original poster

social service.

120 replies

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 01:37

Hi there quick post if their is anyone that can help.

SS went to see my child 2 teachers and 2 of them, anyway, he came out with some thing that is not true and i questioned him about it and why he said it, said it was a joke but ss wrote this down and it is on record, will be going to see a soliciter to get this taking off the records as it's not true.

Does anyone know where i stand and if a soliciter will take this up.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 20:13

Thing is i have been told by SS it has been endless appointments on questioning of the school,i find out it's one appointment(which i alreadly know)the rest are after school workshops that i didn't know i had to attend.

My oldest which has a medical condition has been to see everybody i had to beg the doctor to refer him to the hospital as i was just given charts and meds for the last 13 years, now it appears it is all my fault as i missed one hospital appointment due to him being ill.

But i am determined not to give them the saisfaction of me getting angry one word answers with these people ar the way to go i reckon and i'm still consulting a soliciter.

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lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 21:07

It seems odd as ime in my old job, homevisits and school visits to talk to children never take place for a missed appointment, but speak of something more serious.
I dont mean to say anything more is going on but are you sure they havent had a call or information from someone else?? Seeems like very extreme behaviour from SS and TBH they havent got time to be making wasted visits to school.

What did DS tell them??

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 21:19

well if it is something more serious think SS need to tell me... i have done nothing wrong, i feed my kids,look after my kids,play with my kids etc...so there is nothing it could be, i do not hit my kids i am not in a abusive relationship... nothing so they can try and pin stuff on me all they like because i am a single mother, i ask for no help off anyone..maybe they are shocked i can cope with 3 children so are reading all sorts into it,my kids are better behaved than most, i always have comments how polite and well behaved they are...hmm... maybe thats where i'm going wrong.

Ds told him i hit him on the legs when he is naughty,i would rather die than hit my children,they are not naughty kids anyway,not perfect, but telling off and toy taken away seems to work perfectly.

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lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 21:35

I would suggest you speak to Social worker soon then, because this behaviour is not standard for a missed appointment. Im not saying there is anything to be found but please know this.

Also I doubt very much they will remove the comment from DS as if you see it from their point of view, any recant from DS could be seen as being under threat from you :(

sorry, I dont mean to sound harsh.
HTH

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 21:43

I know lisa just confirmed what i thought about social services.

I'm going to take action as i don't think i am been treated fairly at all.

No justice is this world at all for decent parents.

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Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 21:45

Ds is more under threat from our family dog than me.My children are my world i would never hurt them.

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lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 21:46

im not suggesting you would but can see from their point of view too. I spent 6 years working with them.
Hope your ok

LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 21:48

No normal person can understand how social workers operate. They are not consistent and they do not follow procedures.

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 21:51

am I not normal :(

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 21:54

I may aswell give up, they are already trying to pin things on me that are not true what hope do i have,just a normal single mum.
I can't believe this is happening.. it's a nightmare.. i'm waiting to wake up but i'm never going to.

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scurryfunge · 04/10/2010 21:54

Massive generalisation there LucindaCarlisle.

LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 21:55

I was not criticising you, I was criticising the attitude and bad working practice of many local authority social workers.

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 21:58

dont give up. Use the proffessionals you have on side and fight your corner without being rude.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 21:59

Social workers know what people think if them, one of the first questions they asked my children was 'if they had heard bad things about them' who would ask a child that. Maybe they should try taking their nose out of a text book.

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Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:02

Lisa what professionals are actually on my side? none i am a nobody, no one is going to listen to me.
Thank you ladies for your help.

Hope they get a nice little raise for this and some gold stars from the boss.

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sheepgomeep · 04/10/2010 22:04

This happened to me last year when ds told a pack of lies in school about my dp hitting him and me starving him Hmm

He told the school nurse and his paediatrician who had come to do a medical on him in school and I had SS on my doorstep 2 hours later.

They actually went to school next day and interviewed him and checked him for bruises without me being there (they wouldn't let me)of course there were no bruises and they closed the case when ds admitted it was a lie, but it well shook me up.

But please stay cool and calm and cooperate, they get narky if you lose it with them,

LucindaCarlisle · 04/10/2010 22:04

I have asked for help previously from Social workers, and they were nasty to me for asking for help. They tell lies and are dishonest.

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 22:10

Im trying to help and I dont work for them anymore.
I dont know if you have a good health visitor or teacher who knows you and children well, thats why I asked.
Get everything in writing is one strong piece of advice I always give.

taintedpaint · 04/10/2010 22:11

The ones you have been involved with may have been Lucinda, but please don't generalise so wildly. What you are saying or implying is not only very wrong, but also quite dangerous. Some people need to trust social workers, and some social workers are fantastic and worth their weight in gold.

taintedpaint · 04/10/2010 22:12

OP, so sorry you're going through this, hope you get it all figured out.

Will be thinking of you. x

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 04/10/2010 22:13

i would like to think i was good at my job when i was there, and always tried to be open and honest too. There are some great SW out there, but crap ones too, but they arent all the same.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:17

sheepgomeep - it is hell that i hae never imagined. My Ds is going through an awful stage at the moment of lieing before i laughed it off, thinking he would grow out of it,how wrong was i.
I won't lose it,i know that's what they are waiting for.

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Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:18

Taintedpaint - thank you that means a lot.

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Spero · 04/10/2010 22:18

Can you get anyone to go to meeting with you as a support and friend?

I am worried if you go into this with the attitude that they can't be trusted and you are going to fight them, you really will open up a can of worms and things will escalate.

I have been on loads of these social services threads and it is obvious that some people have had horrible and upsetting experiences. Nor do I deny, as in any walk of life, that there are incompetent and unpleasant social workers.

BUT not all are.

They have a legal obligation to act to protect children to harm and are damned if they do, damned if they don't. If a child says something to a teacher that is concerning, they have to investigate if the school informs them. If you say it is not true and child says it is not true, and there is no other evidence to support it is true - injuries for example, they should make a note to that effect and close the case. But they are NOT going to erase a file entry. A concern has been raised - that is a fact. If it turns out not to be substantiated, that is another fact that can be recorded.

But please get as much help as you can and try to approach this in the spirit that you are all working together in the best interests of your children. If you go in angry, and refuse to give more than one word answers to questions, you will immediately cause the index of suspicion to shoot right up.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 04/10/2010 22:20

lisad123isgoingcrazy - i know you are trying to help,sorry if i have come across as having a go at you that wasn't my intention at all and i thank you for your advice.

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