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Original poster

Am I wrong

130 replies

melza84 · 26/09/2021 11:54

I would like to make a formal complaint regarding this incident. I myself telephoned the police on Friday 24th September evening to report that my partner/ex partner was trying to throw me out onto the streets with 4 children the youngest one being his biological daughter age 7 who suffers severe autism and global learning delay. My son aged 15 is also under CAMHS due to historical sexual abuse whilst under the care of social services after a series of lies from his father against me , social services have never taken any responsibility for this leading to my son having mental health issues and anxiety and has not been out for 2 years. His father has now been classed as a danger to the children and has no contact he servered 5 years in prison due to dangerous driving and the death of his sister and fleeing the scene. I phoned the police for help as I have previously been in a woman’s aid refuge about 5 years ago due to the perpetrator. The police officer said he was going upstairs to do a welfare check on the children female aged 18 son 15 and daughter 14 I requested they did not due to the situation with my son and I would call the children Down he spoke in a very nasty tone and replied no I’m going up. My children could have been changing or anything and my son is still in shock and upset and so is my 14 year old daughter who is very shy and has anxiety issues also , they had all gone upstairs so they wouldn’t have to speak to officers and I wanted them kept out of it and so did they . However he ignored my request. I was facing homeless being on the streets with my children one who as I mentioned is autistic. The police said they would take me to my parents my parents refused as my partner has done this so many times. I explained when my partner was last acting like this he took an overdose, and became violent and women’s aid helped me find a place in refuge . We spent 4 years apart went to court over our youngest daughter I got a residency order for our daughter my ex partner got supervised contact due to the fact the court questioned his mental capacity to safeguard such a severely disabled child. The police who attended last night I wanted them to help me resolve the problem instead they threatened to arrest me for breech of peace meaning social services would have had to be called as an emergency because my ex partner is unable and not allowed to care for our autistic daughter. I have given up my house a year and a half ago to move in with my partner on the condition I was also named on the tenancy so my children would have a secure home apparently although we claimed together I was never placed on the tenancy . I told the police they had been unhelpful they never took the fact I have mental health conditions and sometimes struggle to concentrate my depression and anxiety has worsened over the past few months due to living like a prisoner and having to care for extra people because my partner is out all day. The police told my ex partner to leave for half an hour so me and my youngest daughter could go to sleep and told me I had to find alternative accommodation today I’m trying it’s impossible with 4 children especially when my youngest is autistic and it’s Saturday I have phoned the police again this morning and been advised ‘ I said I had said I would find new accommodation today’ this wasn’t the case they told me I had to. I’m in the process of trying to find accommodation but as it’s the weekend most places are closed and I have rung emergency shelter 3 times and I keep getting a message saying they have very high calls and can’t answer the phone. Where does this leave me? The officer I spoke to this morning said if I rang again I would be arrested for breech of peace and as my ex partner does not have the mental capacity to care for my autistic daughter she would be placed into the care of social services which they also threatened me with last night. My daughter has attachment issues with myself she has never been away from me for more than 4 hours at a time. I have fought for 4 years to get her a special placement and she is to start on the 4th October, as I said my son is currently having treatment with CAMHS due to historical sexual abuse under the care of social services, my 2 daughters attend high school and have settled well. The police wanted to take me back to my parents knowing full well I would lose all the hard work I’d put in and causing severe upheaval to the children’s lives . They then said I had the choice to go to my brothers house with 2 bedrooms, a newborn baby and 3 large dogs they refused to accept this would not be unsuitable due to my daughters behaviours in any case they said they had given me two options when my parents and brother had both declined anyway so the only other option was to arrest me for breech of the peace even though I was merely speaking with them. I told them my ex partner is supposed to be medicated with apixabam due to blood clots and previous stroke, lethyroxine for under active thyroid and 150mg of sertraline due to mental health and previous overdose he suffers from paranoia. They didn’t listen to a word I said I was happier talking down to me and discussing the fuel crisis with my ex partner. This has added to my stress and anxiety and I believe they discriminated against me and my daughter on mental health grounds making disabled people homeless. Now to continue living in my ex partners house I have to live like a prisoner and follow all his rules or I will be homeless or arrested and do not know what will become of my children the police also said they will be reporting me ( not my ex partner) to social services to say I’m neglecting the children because the house is untidy ( two children are his as well he does not work but spends all day out of the house leaving me and expecting me to do all chores whilst he is out and I’m at home caring for our autistic daughter) I have already emailed the council to inform them this situation is making me ill and I need my own home for me and my children and am awaiting a response I have been to numberous meetings regarding the welfare and education of my children and the 2 officers who attended were an absolute disgrace and discriminatory against me and my daughters mental health.
This is my official complaint

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 26/09/2021 16:34

You think people are being nasty on here because we aren’t agreeing with you , we aren’t being nasty we are looking at this from the perspective of your children , which you are failing to do .

Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 16:45

I have been through ss 9 years ago because my kitchen flooded I phoned them expecting help they told me to find my own dam accommodation and put them with their father to live where they suffered sexual, emotional abuse and social services called me a liar I got my kids back because I kept them and the police interviewed them, didn't here from ss for 6 months went to the last court case where it was to be finalised my children would go into long term foster care because I was scum and all the allegations against me I never should have had kids . Funny when I turned up and only me and the judge sat there guardian was called, social services were called and they said no need for a court hearing they had no concerns about me . I went on to have another child no ss involvement now 7 I had a support worker because I was a single mother to 4 children and they helped me out getting my daughter her diagnosis. No involvement with ss for years except a parental review for court for residency for my youngest which I got . I fight tooth and nail to keep my kids happy and everyone says how spoiled they are. They are my actual reason for living. As for police and social workers and even judges it all depends on the person some are actually there to help others abuse their power end of!

OP posts:
Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 16:49

Solicitors actually groan sometimes when they see the judge your getting because some are well known for being AHoles

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 26/09/2021 16:58

I’m sorry but even that story doesn’t add up , who phones SS because their kitchen floods , if my kitchen flooded I’d call a plumber and the insurance company it wouldn’t cross my mind to phone SS .

Generalpost · 26/09/2021 17:05

@melza84

I have been through ss 9 years ago because my kitchen flooded I phoned them expecting help they told me to find my own dam accommodation and put them with their father to live where they suffered sexual, emotional abuse and social services called me a liar I got my kids back because I kept them and the police interviewed them, didn't here from ss for 6 months went to the last court case where it was to be finalised my children would go into long term foster care because I was scum and all the allegations against me I never should have had kids . Funny when I turned up and only me and the judge sat there guardian was called, social services were called and they said no need for a court hearing they had no concerns about me . I went on to have another child no ss involvement now 7 I had a support worker because I was a single mother to 4 children and they helped me out getting my daughter her diagnosis. No involvement with ss for years except a parental review for court for residency for my youngest which I got . I fight tooth and nail to keep my kids happy and everyone says how spoiled they are. They are my actual reason for living. As for police and social workers and even judges it all depends on the person some are actually there to help others abuse their power end of!
Why would you phone ss because your kitchen flooded . You phone your landlord/agent turn of the stop cock. People don't call ss over repairs. Why did your children need to live with their father because of a kitchen flood?

Do you think we all put our kids else where when ever the kitchen floods that's very odd.

So the fact you have been to court before means there has been a risk that your kids could be removed? Yes some do abuse their power I 100% agree with you . But is it really worth loosing your kids?

When it comes to it all you got to do is move out with your children

And yes some of us have/are walking in your shoes.

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 26/09/2021 17:07

Even if you can't be honest with us, which you aren't being, you need to be honest with yourself.

You have blamed absolutely everyone for your situation apart from yourself and your partner.

Also I am a single mum of 6 children with varying needs, they don't dish out social workers for being a lone parent.

Offmyfence · 26/09/2021 17:16

@melza84

Solicitors actually groan sometimes when they see the judge your getting because some are well known for being AHoles
I don't think so....
Generalpost · 26/09/2021 17:22

freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php

Tillysfad · 26/09/2021 17:23

Why would you phone ss because your kitchen flooded . You phone your landlord/agent turn of the stop cock. People don't call ss over repairs. Why did your children need to live with their father because of a kitchen flood?

How very odd that you understand so little of the desperation created by multiple children, additional needs, little support and poverty. I can easily imagine why a young mother out of money, support and options might think that SS are there to, y'know, offer support to someone who has suddenly lost adequate housing. And I think you can too.

Tillysfad · 26/09/2021 17:24

Solicitors actually groan sometimes when they see the judge your getting because some are well known for being AHoles

Can confirm that they do ..

Tillysfad · 26/09/2021 17:25

When it comes to it all you got to do is move out with your children

Where, though? Is there a magic housing tree I haven't heard about?

Tillysfad · 26/09/2021 17:26

16:58Floralnomad

Lucky you, with insurance and enough put by to pay a plumber. Naturally you assume everyone has these advantages because you're ignorant of certain realities.

Generalpost · 26/09/2021 17:28

@Tillysfad

Why would you phone ss because your kitchen flooded . You phone your landlord/agent turn of the stop cock. People don't call ss over repairs. Why did your children need to live with their father because of a kitchen flood?

How very odd that you understand so little of the desperation created by multiple children, additional needs, little support and poverty. I can easily imagine why a young mother out of money, support and options might think that SS are there to, y'know, offer support to someone who has suddenly lost adequate housing. And I think you can too.

What makes you think I have not been through this myself. I have a large family as a single parent. Been through a dv situation. I also have a child with autism. I'm also in temporary accommodation. I have also lived In poverty 😕 oh and had 2 evictions.
Generalpost · 26/09/2021 17:30

@Tillysfad

When it comes to it all you got to do is move out with your children

Where, though? Is there a magic housing tree I haven't heard about?

Hmm you contact the council and the (have) to out her and the children into temporary accommodation due to DV.
Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 17:31

I phoned the council for accommodation they told me to get referral from ss towards my application sewerage was backing up in the kitchen due to a collapse pipe in the garden and the landlord refusing to repair I asked for the children to go to my parents house who lived across the road they saying it would not be suitable as they both worked my mother said she would go part time so someone was always with the kids no their going 20 miles away to live with their father share a bedroom with dad as he lived with his parents because he had PR I had to prove I could get a house and furnish it to get my kids back, would you like the court papers and everything from the meetings they also told me I had to prove I could look after my children and stop my medication for depression which I did and got very ill . My doctor called me in after 3 months to ask why I was off my meds I told him I had to prove myself to ss he rang the director of ss and made a complaint, a health condition needed to be treated would the force someone with diabetes to stop taking insulin and accused them of purposely trying to sabotage my case . All of a sudden reports started being made make sure mum sticks to her health care plan with dr and takes medication correctly??? I have recently requested my files from ss and was told they were lost when they updated their systems I'm sure they were ?? But it's ok this shit don't really happen and George floydd deserved to die . Yep most of you be hitting that up on google coz you don't live in the real world. My question was ' was the police right to say they would arrest me for breach of peace for not wanting to be thrown on the streets with my kids while I sat quietly trying to explain and he was ranting and raving'?

OP posts:
Tillysfad · 26/09/2021 17:35

general

Hmmm you seem incapable of writing a coherent sentence so I don't fancy your chances in the op's position.

What makes you think I have not been through this myself. I have a large family as a single parent

What makes me think you haven't? Because you're clearly unable to put yourself in the OP's shoes and imagine being that desperate. I too might have thought SS would help in some way, if I was hard up, overwhelmed and desperate. It is what they say they're there for. She was struggling, she reaches out. Not rocket science. Don't need to know your life story.

Tillysfad · 26/09/2021 17:37

OP, no the police were not right as you know. Please stop wasting your energy arguing with mean girls on the internet and have a cup of tea, I think you've earned it after the weekend you've had

Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 17:39

Thank you Tilly you have explained my point exactly x

OP posts:
Generalpost · 26/09/2021 17:40

@melza84

I phoned the council for accommodation they told me to get referral from ss towards my application sewerage was backing up in the kitchen due to a collapse pipe in the garden and the landlord refusing to repair I asked for the children to go to my parents house who lived across the road they saying it would not be suitable as they both worked my mother said she would go part time so someone was always with the kids no their going 20 miles away to live with their father share a bedroom with dad as he lived with his parents because he had PR I had to prove I could get a house and furnish it to get my kids back, would you like the court papers and everything from the meetings they also told me I had to prove I could look after my children and stop my medication for depression which I did and got very ill . My doctor called me in after 3 months to ask why I was off my meds I told him I had to prove myself to ss he rang the director of ss and made a complaint, a health condition needed to be treated would the force someone with diabetes to stop taking insulin and accused them of purposely trying to sabotage my case . All of a sudden reports started being made make sure mum sticks to her health care plan with dr and takes medication correctly??? I have recently requested my files from ss and was told they were lost when they updated their systems I'm sure they were ?? But it's ok this shit don't really happen and George floydd deserved to die . Yep most of you be hitting that up on google coz you don't live in the real world. My question was ' was the police right to say they would arrest me for breach of peace for not wanting to be thrown on the streets with my kids while I sat quietly trying to explain and he was ranting and raving'?
I 100% agree with you ss are not to be trusted. But they have slot of power and they and the courts have thevpoervto remove your children. Everyone is trying to help you so that does not happen . I guess the kitchen thing is not really realivent anymore? To be honest.

To answer your question as long as you were behaving in a reasonable way then no they should not have threatened yo arrested you . But you put alot in your op and people will respond to the other stuff you said as well.

You said yourself you were better when single? ( or did I misread)

People just don't want to see your children ending up on the care system they just want to help

PhillMcCann · 26/09/2021 17:44

My question was ' was the police right to say they would arrest me for breach of peace for not wanting to be thrown on the streets with my kids while I sat quietly trying to explain and he was ranting and raving'?

You did not sit quietly whilst the police threatened to arrest you for breach of the peace.

You would have been doing something to...breach the peace.

You are incoherently ranting about all the things that have happened that are everyone else's fault and wasting time and energy with spurious complaints.

Your environment sounds chaotic and unsafe and you're taking no responsibility for making it a suitable environment for the dc.

Stop blaming everyone else and sort yourself out.

Generalpost · 26/09/2021 17:51

@Tillysfad

general

Hmmm you seem incapable of writing a coherent sentence so I don't fancy your chances in the op's position.

What makes you think I have not been through this myself. I have a large family as a single parent

What makes me think you haven't? Because you're clearly unable to put yourself in the OP's shoes and imagine being that desperate. I too might have thought SS would help in some way, if I was hard up, overwhelmed and desperate. It is what they say they're there for. She was struggling, she reaches out. Not rocket science. Don't need to know your life story.

Yeah because my typing is shit tjat means I have not been through simlar 👏👏👏 (slow hand clap)

At the end of the day she has to protect her kids .

Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 17:52

Phill whatever. I was sat quietly which the police body cameras will show. Get real get a life you troll you are the exact type of people who will make up shit

OP posts:
Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 17:53

General then you have been in my situation who are you to judge what did you do

OP posts:
Original poster
melza84 · 26/09/2021 17:56

Totally bored now the mentality of some people

OP posts:
Offmyfence · 26/09/2021 17:56

@melza84

Phill whatever. I was sat quietly which the police body cameras will show. Get real get a life you troll you are the exact type of people who will make up shit
Hmmmm I wonder why the police were threatening charging you?

So aggressive!

Mental health issues do not mean you can act aggressively and not face justice!