Really hurt by comments about our family size

[NotaFreeloader]

On announcing my pregnancy I have comments from 4 different people 2 question have I decided to have another just so I ‘don’t have to work’
Another saying we just want a bigger house
Then someone else saying I must not have been careful with contraception- this was a planned baby

For a start yes I do intend to work once the youngest is at school. Whenever that may be and I have a Dh who works and supports us
I don’t want to move we have plenty of room
If I worked now it’d cost the government a LOT for helping with childcare so it’s not that I’m costing ‘the taxpayer’ money

Why can’t people just say congratulations and mind their own business

You're on your 5th so you won't get any 'tax payers' money anyway so tell them to shut up. People that opt now to have more than two children will not benefit financially from the system so that argument needs to be dropped

I will add though that we have one child, no assistance and we actually can't afford to have another so just one for us. So there is a bit of unfairness in the fact someone can have lots of children and need to be propped up but others really have no choice but to just have one or two at an absolute push because they only have income from work to support the children.

That said, as I said above, this 5th child will not cost the tax payer anything. If judgement was going to be given, it would be when assistance was being given for more children so probably when you had the 2nd and 3rd but even then, it's quite cruel.

You are getting taxpayers money in the form of education and health.Not saying you shouldn't but if everyone had five kids -with only one adult actually paying any tax for the years he is working the education and health systems would be in an even worse state. How much tax does he pay per year?

Child benefit?

Maybe social housing isn't subsidised as such, but the councils could be making a profit that is used to fund other areas. So, cheap rent means potential money lost that could be used to ease the burden on everyone.

And has anyone else wondered how the Radcliffes are coping with homeschooling 20 odd kids 😱 because I ain't half glad I stopped at two now 😅

You don't ' know the children will be paying tax and supporting pensioners -they might be five girls who choose to be SAHM with a donkey earner and five kids each themselves...

Donkey earner???! No I did not mean to be rude 'single earner'

I dont really understand. I thought social housing was subsidised/much cheaper than private rates?

Why do you get social housing if you can afford to privately rent?

Not judging, just curious, I dont know anything about social housing.

@wolf
You know nothing about council housing? really?
Social housing is affordable and secure, why would you give that up to line a LL pockets with overpriced rent?

**You can support a larger family, I’ve been a single parent to 4 for many years, initially worked 2 jobs, now self employed.
You budget and plan, kids don’t need 10 hobbies each, teach kids the value of things and to appreciate what they have, mine have never went.
I never understand the moaning about kids are so expensive, not if you live within your means and don’t get into debt.
@Jkscots4

I totally agree, i have 4. Who also dont want, they understand the value of things and appreciate what they have. They understand that i have to work hard for the things we have

@NotaFreeloader Congratulations

Social housing is affordable and secure, why would you give that up to line a LL pockets with overpriced rent?

Because a lot of people need social housing and the waiting lists are huge. So it does seem a bit wrong for someone to be allowed to hog a house that is needed more by others. I can understand why people don’t volunteer to move out - no one wants to as you say ‘line a LL pocket’ if they don’t have to, so will avoid it if they can. I suppose just like some people can legally avoid paying taxes through off shore accounts - it’s allowed, but really doesn’t seem right.
Yes renting and buying is expensive - but most people who can afford it (just about!) deal with it. Why should some be randomly exempt from that? As a pp said, I thought social housing was there for people who would really struggle to rent privately or are unable to - not a random lucky few who actually can afford to private rent like most people but just don’t . Seems bonkers to me. If you can afford to rent privately then that’s what you should be asked to do, and let those who are in more need benefit from the social housing.

@JKScot4 why would I? Never lived in it.

So how come some people get this amazing secure affordable housing and some dont? That was my question.

@Pinkblueberry
So do you think these ppl should be told to leave their council property?
Fortunately here in Scotland we don’t allow the buying of council houses, we have a 5 year plan to build 50,000 affordable homes, 35,000 will be social housing, England are in the midst of a housing crisis yet still sell off their housing stock at discount and build little if any to replace it.
More affordable housing will stop rent poverty and slow the horrendous house prices which are out of reach of ordinary working people in many areas.

There is an argument for saying social housing should be means tested. Circumstances change and if renters can afford to buy, they should. It’s the equivalent of bed blocking. Few can get social housing now. There are terrible waiting lists. The social housing gets sold to tenants and then there is even less of it because it doesn’t get replaced at the same rate.

A family member rents a social housing flat and 22 years ago had an inheritance which was enough to buy 3 flats! Still stayed in the social housing flat though. Also earning between the two of them were in excess of £65,000. Head of department as a teacher and a Family money adviser for the council. Why anyone would keep this flat and not let someone more deserving have it is unacceptable. People like something cheap where no maintenance effort is required. New kitchen and bathroom installed. So I do think there is a case for 5 year lets then reassessment. That’s fair!

Single people get 25% off council tax but of course they are paying a bigger percentage towards services they don’t use. But it’s a tax to support society, not the individual.

@BubblesBuddy
I think your example is quite rare and says more about them as ppl than anything else.

I have no idea about social housing but agree with a pp who said anything over 2 will raise some eyebrows these days. If you're happy then just ignore the comments.

@BubblesBuddy - I totally agree social housing should be means tested. Tenancies for life (especially when there is a huge shortage of social housing) mean that it’s not fairly allocated at all. Very many families are struggling in private rented when others who are in less need are profiteering from low rents in social housing or buying auch housing at a discount (which is subsidized by the taxpayer). It should be allocated on basis of need as it’s a public good.

@JKScot4 children are expensive if you want to provide them with many of the things that will help them succeed in life. I grew up in social housing and my parents couldn’t help me with uni, housing, etc. I’m still catching up with my peers and my life has been much much more of a struggle than theirs. Even things like my accent and crappy school made it harder to achieve to my potential.

I have two dds (im a single mum). I wouldn’t have any more and do everything to help my daughters get the best out of life. In my religion many people have huge families and this does stretch both financial and emotional resources. I don’t think it’s ok to just let children go short and pretend it’s ok. The fewer children, the more resources for each (unless you are able to get additional benefits). That’s why mc types generally have two.

Social housing is limited if your not already living in a council property or housing association. If you live in private accommodation you would have a long wait to try and get a Council house without good reason. It’s been like this for several years.
Another downfall to Council/HA properties is that they will only give you a house big enough for the exact amount of children so if you start having kids at 25 you could be well moving around a fair bit.
Circumstances are individual most people living in Council is probably because that’s what they can afford I think it’s entirely their choice.

Congratulations op, I would love more children (I have 3) and anyone who commented would be told to fuck off to the far side of fuck off and when they get there fuck off some more.
Ide be really sarcastic with my replies "well yes if I have another one I'll get a bigger house/no work for life"

the people wittering about social housing are as invasive as the twits making contraception. i hope your pregnancy goes smoothly op ignore them.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP, I would never choose to have such a large family myself (I'm nowhere near organised enough) but your decision is yours to make, who cares as long as the children are happy and loved.

@CayrolBaaaskin
I’m sorry but I don’t agree with your life has been limited because you grew up in social housing or an accent or school , myself and my sister did, parents working class, state school, both went to uni, anyone can succeed if they work hard.
I have 4 kids and work hard, they have a good life and have never went without.
Sadly too many ppl on MN are comparing London lifestyles and deeming themselves unsuccessful if they don’t earn 6 figures and little Felix isn’t in independent school, not something I envy.

I think op the key point here is you can only afford to not work and have five kids for the simple reason you get cheap social housing. If you were not being housed it wouldn’t be an option for you.

Out of curiosity how long is it since you’ve worked, is there something there that caused the comment? How old are your other kids?