Really hurt by comments about our family size

[NotaFreeloader]

On announcing my pregnancy I have comments from 4 different people 2 question have I decided to have another just so I ‘don’t have to work’
Another saying we just want a bigger house
Then someone else saying I must not have been careful with contraception- this was a planned baby

For a start yes I do intend to work once the youngest is at school. Whenever that may be and I have a Dh who works and supports us
I don’t want to move we have plenty of room
If I worked now it’d cost the government a LOT for helping with childcare so it’s not that I’m costing ‘the taxpayer’ money

Why can’t people just say congratulations and mind their own business

Social housing isn't subsidised, it's non-profit.

Yes social housing but we pay full rent and council tax but I think a lot of people wrongly assume it’s ‘free’ when it’s not !

It's heavily subsidised rent though.

Having 5 children nowadays is unusual, you'll need to develop a thick skin if you don't want to hear the comments.

I think having a huge family is fine if you can afford them all without relying on benefits.
Also fine if you can support them all emotionally and financially throughout university/college/starting their own lives, otherwise what's the point?

If it's been planned and your financially secure then great, don't let other people opinions get to you. It's your life to live, no-one else's.

God so many idiots come out when social housing is mentioned. Jealousy is a terrible thing.

I think some people are confused about what a subsidised rent is - "cheaper than private rents where the landlord wants to make a profit" does not mean the rent is subsidised.
Housing association rents cover the costs of the property and staff. Though lots of HAs do make quite significant surpluses.

Social housing is supposed to be a temporary solution when in desperate need, not to assist you in breeding excessively.

No, social housing is let on lifetime tenancies. It is supposed to be permanent, long term affordable housing. So that’s not an argument and OP has said that they do not claim benefits towards the rent or council tax.

I’m not a particular fan of large families, but each to her own.

It’s not jealousy
People can just clearly see how the system is being abused .
As this post proves .
The whole point of social housing is to help people in genuine need ,.
Clearly not in genuine need if churning out dc

Yes it’s a lifetime tenancy for the same property throughout and full rent and c tax always paid

The whole point of social housing was to provide stable, affordable housing for working people.

A bit like how the NHS was supposed to provide healthcare for all? You know, social healthcare, social education...

But not surprisingly, some people have a Tory, every man for themselves kind of attitude to things these days.

For a start yes I do intend to work once the youngest is at school. Whenever that may be and I have a Dh who works and supports us

OP, in your position, I’d stop talking about work and just own it; “For now, I am happy as a SAHM and DH is happy to be the breadwinner. We wanted and planned a big family”.

(If you do intend to work at some later point, I think you’ll need some retraining after a long career break like that, so that might be worth thinking about and planning for.)

@kick you are so so wrong it is laughable. The Tories fucked the housing stock up. HA and council houses are for normal working class people that needed permanent housing but couldn't afford to buy.

Are you actually surprised by them comments? 5 kids is a lot in this current climate I would be upset by those comments. I can see both sides though. If you can make a single salary stretch for 7 people good luck to you all.

I would just say 'Well, that's very rude' in future to all these comments. Don't bother justifying yourself!

It's not subsidised though. It's just not making a profit and abiding by "fair rental costs" as laid out by the government/local authority.

They charge a rent that covers the costs to own and maintain (staff etc) the property and enough to invest in the business to expand stock or update current stock.

If private landlords followed the same rules then all rents would be less but they follow the capitalist profit rules around property prices.
Most landlords do this because the system is built to force them to charge more because they are told that is the going rate in the area and so their costs to let the property are in line with the same system and most also want a bit on top as profit to make it worthwhile letting it out.

I didn’t intend to start a debate about social housing I just felt upset at what had been said to me/about me
I think there are a lot of misconceptions about how social housing works though and yes it’s cheaper than private renting but it’s still a fair amount if your wage isnt high so it’s all relative

@CuppaZa

Social Housing isn't subsidised. It's just not more expensive than it needs to be. You aren't paying the interest on someone else's mortgage and a further slice to cover anticipated expenses or profit etc.

Therefore is lower than the market value of rent.... and therefore is technically subsidised. The argument of whether rents are too high generally is a whole other conversation, but social housing rents are the lowest in the market, and are therefore aimed at family’s struggling with income. Not for people to produce large families in.

I have no issues with large families, if they are funded with your own wages, don’t rely on any state hand outs at all, and you are as mindful about the environmental impact as possible.

@rosiepony
Social housing is supposed to be a temporary solution when in desperate need,
No it’s not.

People can just clearly see how the system is being abused .
As this post proves
It's not abusing it. Social housing is not just to help people in need out nor seen as a temporary measure.
OP fits who it's there to benefit. 1 person working in the family with dependant dc - highly unlikely they can afford a mortgage right now even if they wanted one - with or without the additional dc.
It's not her fault her LA had a property available when she applied to rent a home. Should she have refused the offer and went private? Of course not!
Congratulations btw OP.

Social housing is supposed to be a temporary solution when in desperate need I don’t think that’s true.

@Kickanxietyinthebeanbag. Your comments are unnecessary and mean spirited. Also not what the OP was posting about. Social housing should be the norm rather than the exception.

@NotaFreeloader - congratulations on your pregnancy. People are arseholes a lot of the time.

Social housing is supposed to be a temporary solution when in desperate need, not to assist you in breeding excessively

It really, really isn't. Do you think people who own want a continual stream of new tenants in their road.

The myth that social housing is for only those struggling is so outdated.

Our local authority won't let you have a property usually unless you are working. And the rents on the affordable housing are almost £1000 Pm.

Op people will always judge whatever you do, so crack on and be happy.

I really didn’t mean to make this about social
Housing it’s more about the comments made about bigger families/my individual circumstances. I’ve seen social housing threads on aibu I don’t want this to go the same way I though the larger families section would be a better place than aibu/chat

I had exactly this situation when I announced our fifth, comments such as ‘Oh dear, how will you manage?’ you need to sort out your contraception’ And just a blank stare and ‘hmmm’
I found it very upsetting at the time.
ignore, enjoy this pregnancy and CONGRATULATIONS!!!