BFP after IVF - due October 2025

[Sherr33]

Hi all I thought I would create a thread for our BFPs after IVF.

A bit about me: 34 years old (35 next month)
2x failed transfers and 1x failed to thaw
BFP with this little blub. Scan date 7th of February (will be 6wks1day)🎊
Here's to continuous panicking 🤪

Hi all,

How is everyone doing?

Does anyone have any 'situations' with their work?!

Vvvv long story, but I've worked for my boss for 15 years next month (I'm office manager for an Architect- SME about 10 employees) so he knows all about my IVF history back from 2017... fortunately I told him in January we were going to try another FET, told him the test result was positive... likely/hopeful due date of early October (couple of weeks after my 40th birthday). I had 9 months off with my son in 2018/2019, during which time my boss really struggled without me - he relies on me FAR too much - so he is quite apprehensive and not looking forward to the same again...

To add - my boss is a 75 year old male, very much 'old school' way of thinking. No HR department, just me, him, my part time admin assistant, and 7 members of drawing staff.

I have recently found out that a colleague - 24 year old, just moved in with her (new-ish) boyfriend last summer, got a puppy just before Christmas, is now pregnant and due about 5 days after me.. she also knew about me going for an FET (in fact, the whole company did.. I am v open!) she is yet to tell any of us, other than my assistant, who in turn told me.

Furthermore, a male colleague has just told me his wife is due with their second (20 month age gap) about 2 weeks before me.. also yet to tell the boss.

I am SO GLAD the boss knows about my situation.. but equally, these other two cases are not going to go down well with him.

Ultimately, no-one has done anything wrong, but, being a small company, and my boss being so 'old school' it's going to be tricky.. plus, he is likely to come and talk/vent to me about it all when he finds out. URGH!

And then of course, because of the crazy things infertility can do to our minds, I can't help having the thoughts of 'why can't this be my moment to shine' why did they have to get pregnant so quickly and easy to over-complicate things.

Sorry for the ramble but hoping someone else may have/had similar experiences. or any advice!

@HopefulSibling I'm sorry I don't have any experience of this but my advice would be to absolutely put yourself first, let everything he says wash over you. It is not your business nor your issue to manage his feelings or annoyance about people living their lives. None of you owe him anything beyond your normal work and you certainly should have no feelings of worry or guilt after going through such a long and difficult time.
Being old school isn't an excuse for no emotional intelligence, if he needs cover then he can get a contractor. Put yourself first and enjoy your pregnancy. Don't put the feelings of someone else first when he would clearly have no consideration for yours by coming to you to moan xx

@HopefulSibling sorry to hear about your work situation! I agree with the other poster, you need to put yourself first! It’s not your fault your other colleagues are also pregnant, and your company should have enough time to get organised for when you go on leave!

I am also in a difficult situation at work, I also work for a small company and learnt last week that my boss is leaving. They are not going to be replaced so I will be the only one left in the team. That really stresses me out, I don’t want to stay in this situation but at the same time it’s not the time to look for a new job! My work don’t know I am pregnant and I don’t plan on telling them before my second trimester.

Yay @YellowTack welcome! So pleased for you. Enjoy your lovely 3 week break too. Sounds fabulous. We have a holiday booked just after the 12 week mark.

@Cosyseason1234 I haven't told many friends about IVF, one knows and she is pregnant with her second IVF baby. They will all find out soon enough I guess, I just wanted to go through this without constant 'so what's going on now?' questions. There is one other friend who is an ex work colleague who is also ttc and I told her, and now she won't stop messaging me asking for updates. It was getting too much, so today I told her we will share any news we want to when the time is right. No one knows we are pregnant except for me and my DH, and his 100 year old Aunt, who who told last week, but she will have forgotten 5 mins later bless her.

@HopefulSibling Hmm that does sound stressful for you but the others are right. Your boss will have to suck it up and legally everyone is entitled to have maternity/paternity leave and take time off. If he comes to vent to you, make that clear. He doesn't have any right to rain on anyone's parade when this is such a happy time for a lot of people. He has plenty of time to recruit for cover.

I feel quite lucky because I told my boss I was going through IVF so I could take some paid sick leave around EC and she was really supportive. I won't officially tell her I'm pregnant until past the 12 week mark though.

Thank you everyone for your messages of support. I know deep down that I need to focus on me, and not work, but easier said than done!

I think I’ll feel better once everything is out in the open and then we can get sorted for cover work etc.

On a completely different subject, does anyone know what the recommendations are for swimming this early on? We’ve booked a hotel this weekend that has a pool.. I’ll be 7+2 weeks.

@HopefulSibling I was told just no swimming in the TWW, think it's fine after that.

For ladies that have had their viability scan at 7 weeks, what was the baby measuring? I've been today at 7+1 and baby had a good heart rate at 149bpm, CRL was 6.5mm which the sonographer said was ok but I'm seeing a lot that it should be more like 9mm at this stage.

We are back for another scan next Monday due to spotting but I'm starting to get worried that baby is too small

I'm struggling today. It's been 5 days since OTD and I just feel like I've made this pregnancy up in my head. Felt like the 2ww was really long and difficult and now I need to keep going until the scan which is 6th March. Just feel like I'm willing my life away each day as I just want time to pass! Wondering if I should book a private blood test just for some peace of mind. I'm 'wfh' today but getting zero done. Keep googling due date calculators and trying to figure out when I am 'safe' from this all going wrong.

Sorry for the mad post!

@Hopefullyonedaysoon If the sonographer said it was ok I'd take their word for it but hopefully the next scan they can provide you with more reassurance.

@HopefulSibling What does 7 + 2 weeks mean?

@Hopefullyonedaysoon did you tell you what age your baby was measuring? I think I have heard that if it measures just a couple of days behind it should be fine.

Hi @Hopefullyonedaysoon sorry I can’t advise as my scan isn’t until next week (7+3) but agree with what PP said and sonographer would have said if they thought there was an issue? Heartbeat is always a good sign ❤️

@OneWaryCat im so sorry you are feeling like this,I think we have all been there. I am actually quite enjoying this phase while I can,ignorance 🤣 I think u could book a blood test but equally that could cause more anxiety because the hcg levels differ so much person to person? I just keep thinking today I am pregnant and actually the odds are a lot higher of things being ok than not! Be gentle to yourself and try to get out for a walk in the sun if that helps you.
I found this calculator really reassuring if you want to have a look:
datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

Hey all, I’ve been so rubbish at keeping up to date with everything on here. Wish everyone is doing well and sending love to you all. Welcome to any new joiners! Just wanted to message that there is a lovely WhatsApp group for IVF October due dates, for anyone who might be interested. xxx

https://chat.whatsapp.com/E6CWEHmopKE35mW500EP5Z

Hi @roowoop thank you for sharing this! I think I will wait for my scan next week,are many in the group? I am so overwhelmed at mo 😖😂 xx

No of course, not a problem whatsoever. More than understand, you’ve gotta put your mental health first! Theres 9 of us atm. Shall be thinking of you!

@Cosyseason1234 are you having a private scan next week, or is it with your IVF clinic? :)
@OneWaryCat I know how it feels... I think it is even harder if you have no symptoms, you start to question whether it is real or not!

How is everyone feeling today? I was nauseous and sick yesterday morning, I feel like I avoided morning sickness today. I bough dark rye bread garlic infused rusks from my local Eastern European shop and had them as soon I as I woke up still in bed.😩 Sounds awful, but if it works it works 😆 No sickness today.

@Elena3 it’s at my clinic! Fingers crossed all will be well,keep telling myself it’s more likely that everything will be ok than it won’t!
Did you decide if to have a private scan or will u wait? that bread sounds delicious 😋 I feel like all I’m eating is carbs cake and fruit 😂

@Cosyseason1234 , fingers cross! Exciting to have that first scan, isn't it?
I will go for a private one this Sunday hopefully. My clinic wants to see me 11th of March, which is ages, and then NHS booked me in for 27th March.

I am planning to send an email to my clinic asking to stop/reduce the dose of oeastradiol for me. I am starting to think that my left ovary pain feels exactly how ovarian cysts feel, and today I have similar kind of pain in my breast (also the same as when I had a cyst in my breast tissue, I also had a fibroadenoma previously, and there is correlation between those and estrogen). I will also mention that I am prone to migraines. Even if they say I can't do it, I think I can at least reduce the dose anyway, from 4 pills a day to 2.
I have been trying to find why do we need estrogen pills for IVF, and all I found that it is to thicken the lining in order to prepare for the implantation. I will be 6 weeks tomorrow, so surely the implantation already happened. I also think that I am gaining weight because of it (like when I was on contraception pill). I don't have high hopes - last time it took the clinic 5 days to respond to my email, and even if this case I will probably get a generic reply from the nurses something along the lines 'Please stick to the protocol suggested by the doctor'

@Hopefullyonedaysoon That all sounds great! I had a private scan on Sunday where heartbeat was 138 and CRL was 3.1mm. I was 6+4 but measuring at 6+2 so a bit behind. I can update you after my scan with my clinic on Friday where I’ll be 7+2. As the others have said though it does sound positive.

@OneWaryCat i feel your pain! Time is going sloooow at the moment! I did get a couple of blood tests done. I think if you get it then it’s better to get 2 spaced over a few days than just 1 as it’s apparently the progression that’s important. It calmed my nerves for a moment but tbh you do quickly go back to worrying about the next step!

@Cosyseason1234 thank you for that link, it does help!

@Elena3 is yours a fresh or frozen cycle? I’ve not been put on oestrogen. My sonographer told me that my cysts are likely producing oestrogen so if you do have some cysts then that could be adding to the oestrogen overload! But she did tell me they’d be helping sustain my lining which for me personally is important as I have a thin one. If it makes you feel any better, despite not being on oestrogen i am still finding I’m putting on weight!

x

Thank you @daisyjones03 , yes, I certainly feel like an oestrogen bomb now! x

My is FET because I had mild OHHS. I did email the clinic before I went to sleep, but don't have my hopes high.

At least no morning sickness today :)

Ah, one of the doctors called me from the clinic already, impressive, considering I sent an email 10 pm yesterday. Was advised not to lower ther dose until at least 8 weeks when I have a scan with them, and then they will see. She explained it is important to carry on oeastradiol because I didn't ovulate since it was medicated cycle,now it makes a bit more sense to me.

Thank you for sharing this Elena! I’ve got a really sore tongue randomly that the GP thinks is from the estradial combined with a slightly lower immune system due to pregnancy.

@Cosyseason1234 sore tongue! How unexpected! Another 'pregnancy surprise' I guess x

Hi all
I've been watching and reading this thread from the start but felt too unsure to join in.

I just had my viability scan today and all looks good. Due oct 11th

I'm using my last embryo and it's mosaic. My clinic gave it a 10-15% chance. They say it can basically stop developing at any point. But it's working hard! Felt so relieved after the scan for about an hour before anxiety about the next scan started looming arggh. They are going to scan me every Wednesday for the next 6 weeks.

Hi @Groomofthestool , welcome! :) I am due 15th October, so we are very close. My viability scan is only 11th March, but I am planning to book a private scan for this Sunday.
I completely understand how this feels nerve-racking, but at least it is great to have those weekly scans for reassurance. Hope that everything will be good and the little one will keep working hard :)

@Groomofthestool congratulations! Your little embryo is a fighter! It’s great they are checking every week. It will hopefully give you some reassurance.

@Sherr33 hope your scan went well today? Thinking of you lots x

@Feelingmindful thank you. How are you doing? X

Just thought I'd update on where I am sorry I haven't been on this thread for awhile. I feel like I got so ahead of myself and then my bubble just burst. But today's scan showed a strong heartbeat and although baby is measuring 5/6 days behind she felt that we could feel more assured that it was growing and they offered me another scan next week where they will then discharge me from the clinic. So thank you all for your support, good vibes and prayers. 💓 I'm hoping to be more active here and possibly join the whatsapp group (if everyone else has?) but that will be after next week's scan. I hope everyone else is okay, keep holding on. X

Welcome @Groomofthestool ❤️

awwwww @Sherr33 this is amazing news so pleased for you! I bet you feel like a massive weight has been lifted. Hopefully by 12 weeks the little babe will have completely caught up! I am same as you,apprehensive about joining the WhatsApp until my scan next week xx