BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

@HopefulllHolly have cleaned the house, done a food shop, mum popped over today which helped take my mind off it but she's not long left. My DP doesn't want me overdoing it and wanted me to stay at my mums but my dad is unwell with sickness and diarrhoea (possibly Covid) and I don't want that on top of this! DP will call me later so he'll just have to spend the evening on the phone with me to keep my mind distracted!

@DippyDuck19 if it makes you feel any better, in my successful pregnancy with DD who is now a healthy 2 year old, I bled almost non-stop for the first 16 weeks. And not just spotting but bright red with huge blood clots I needed to wear pads and sometimes even had to change my trousers. The baby was absolutely fine! (Bit of hospital incompetence and multiple misdiagnoses before they found a cervical polyp which was the cause).

And in my last pregnancy last year which ended in a miscarriage I never bled a spot at all. Nothing! I wouldn’t have known I had lost the baby if I hadn’t of gone for a private extra scan.

So in my individual experience there’s just no knowing - you can bleed in a healthy pregnancy and have a symptomless miscarriage. I just say this as it’s what I’m reminding myself daily to try keep my anxiety in check. Somehow accepting that we’re a bit powerless right now is what we need to do, hard as it is.

Hope that helps, sorry if it doesn’t! Look after yourself x

@AnnieStar12 thank you! That's helpful. I'm holding onto the fact I still have symptoms - tiredness, nausea, sore boobs. I think the lack of sleep certainly isn't helping my anxiety!

I drank 3 litres of water (thirsty!) and did another test, you guys were right, it was the hook effect. Back to a dye stealer. I did not know that was a thing! I will now step well away from the tests, I have well and truly learnt my lesson. 😅🙃 sorry all! I have truly lost my mind.

How’s everyone doing today? Only a few days to a few of our scans. 6+4 today ☺️

@HopefulllHolly I'm 7+2 today. Bleeding seems to have stopped now that I am taking cyclogest rectally (I still don't like the back door though). Thursday can't come soon enough!

How are you doing?

@DippyDuck19 Awww over 7 weeks is exciting! 🥰 Really glad you’ve stopped bleeding, do you think it was the pessaries irritating you? I honestly don’t notice them up the rear access, much better than the mess they make up the front!
I’m all good thanks, I feel fine apart from tired now. Really want it to be Thursday, so we can know either way what’s happening in there. I am not good being left to my own thoughts as I just worry. What time is your scan? 😊

@HopefulllHolly it was possibly the pessaries as there was no other reason found on the scan at EPU. I just worry I'm not getting them in far enough rectally 🤦🏻‍♀️(sorry TMi). Definitely less messy though!

I'm a worrier and I overthink too! With my DP being away at the moment makes this harder!

My scan is 13:30. What times is yours?

@DippyDuck19 I don’t put mine far in, as long as it doesn’t pop out again 😅 I wouldn’t worry! I’ve not had anything leak so I’m guessing it’s fine!
Oh bless you, 2 more days without him as we won’t count today now. ☺️ My scans at 9:30, I’m terrified! I half want it to be now and half don’t want to know because I’m so scared, I just hope with all my heart it’s good news! 🥺

@HopefulllHolly that's reassuring I had a quick Google the other day about how far to insert and one webpage said 1 inch and another said 3 inches, I'm like that's pretty much a whole finger!!! 😳😱

We count sleeps when he's away... 2 more sleeps to go ☺️

I hope all our scans go ok! I'm trying to think positive! At least yours is nice and early!!! I'm having to go to work before mine! Don't think I'll be able to concentrate.

@DippyDuck19 No way!! 😅 I’m sure it’s fine, we can ignore that info.

We count sleeps too ☺️ we don’t spend much time apart though really so thankfully it’s not that often. I get bored senseless when he’s away, luckily we have a very cheeky/needy sausage dog who gives very good cuddles and doesn’t leave my side so he’s always a good comfort when one of us is home alone.

Oh god no! Well I hope you don’t have mountains of work to do in the morning, I’ve been so distracted since I got my BFP, I barely get anything done and then have to cram it all in one day a week 🤣🤣 Hopefully it will mean your day flies by though! I booked the day off work for it, just in case it’s bad news. I’ll be no fit state to work after if it is, and if it’s good news I’ll be in a happy bubble floating around and not wanting to work anyway 🤣

How come time usually flies, until you get pregnant and then time stands still!!
Honestly, days are going too slow, I’m only 4+3 so feels like a long way to go until I can relax a bit. My clinic have booked me in for first scan at 6+5 which is 19th June, but I plan to go to the EPU next week once past 5 weeks just to make sure it’s in the right place. I know that’s too early for the heartbeat, but I’ve gone through how to manage my anxiet and fear of repeat miscarriage, and I think I need my first scan to be at the EPU.

Lucky you guys are ahead of me with scans this week which will give you some relief from anxiety.

I’m really struggling with sleep at the moment so tired all the time, but I have no pregnancy symptoms at all.

Not sure how I’m gonna get through the next few weeks..

Also, have you guys registered yet with the local hospital maternity service? I did that today already as I just feel might as well get appointments booked in. Probably far too early!

@AnnieStar12 I feel you on the poor sleep! It’s hard work.

Definitely go for an early scan if it will help you to feel better. It’s a long wait especially when you test early. Good that your clinic scan is quite early too!

I’ve not booked with maternity yet, I don’t want to jinx myself so I’m waiting until after Thursday to do it. I don’t know why but I’ve been superstitious about this pregnancy 😅 I feel like everything is going to jinx it and I feel better taking one step at a time I think. I’ve got the webpage up though as I did start filling in the form and then changed my mind 🤣🤣

@AnnieStar12 My pregnancy symptoms have also all gone. I have sore boobs but not as bad, so I think that’s the cyclogest, and my sleep is broken and very exhausted, but otherwise I feel normal. My resting heart rate has dropped a lot today too. Im hoping symptoms just fluctuate or my body has gotten used to hormones or something. 😕

Wish someone would have explained the level of anxiety at this point 😂

had pink spotting again this morning, has lessened and turned brown already, but also have some twinges in my back so panicking a bit today. 7+4 and Thursday cannot come quick enough - my scan is at 9:30am.

I’ve already had my midwife booking appointment - I filled in the form on my OTD but didn’t expect to get an appointment so soon, it was on 25th May.

@LouP87 Definitely the bit I’ve found the hardest in IVF! Totally unexpected - but then I didn’t think it would work so my thoughts hadn’t gotten to this bit.
Oooh we have the same time appointment! Lots of us are in on Thursday - I really hope we all have amazing happy news after. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep on Wednesday 😟

Oh wow. So all three of you have Thursday scans @DippyDuck19 @LouP87 and @HopefulllHolly ? Looking forward to positive updates!

@LouP87 sorry you’ve been spotting again. Sounds stressful, but it can also be super common in early pregnancy so try remind yourself that it really doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong, especially as it’s stopped now. That’s good you’ve had your booking appointment- I think my hospital aim to do them around 8 weeks.

@HopefulllHollyyeah I don’t think there’s much correlation between symptoms and outcomes tbh, but hard not to overthink it.
End of the day, given all those positive tests we know our bodies are producing lots of HCG!! And we know we got lots of progesterone as we’re physically inserting it. So we can be certain there’s all the right pregnancy hormones in our bodies so guess we should just feel lucky we’re not reacting too badly to them.

@AnnieStar12 yes we all have our scans on the same day, so hoping it goes well for all of us.

I self referred to my local hospital a week after my OTD. My booking appointment is next week and just had letter for 12 week scan too!

I spoke too soon about the spotting seems to have stopped. Had a bit more pink this afternoon. My bladder feels "heavy" (it's hard to describe) and I'm not passing urine as frequently as I would usually. Ive bought some urine dipsticks home from work so am going to test to make sure I don't have a UTI.

@AnnieStar12 Definitely - it’s hard when the only thing you have to go off is symptoms and positive tests. Hopefully the next few weeks will go past quickly for everyone and we’ll feel more relaxed. It would be so nice to be able to enjoy it! I don’t even know the process after this - do we just have the scan and if all ok they just say see ya and discharge you? And then it’s up to us to find a midwife? Random question - do you have to pick a midwife in your area or can it be in the borough across? I want to have my baby (if we get there!) at the same hospital I was born which is 40 mins away and not in the same county - is this allowed? One of my best friends works in the hospital on the unit and would be lovely to be there. Plus it’s a much nicer hospital than my local one 🤣🤣

@DippyDuck19 When you say your bladder feels heavy does it kind of hurt when you go for a wee? Like a pulling feeling? I have that and was googling for it but it’s not a UTI, feels different to me (and I haven’t had a UTI in about 15 years. I’m still needing the toilet constantly but I do drink about 3.5/4 litres of water a day.

@HopefulllHolly yes essentially once your clinic has seen your scan then you’re just a pregnant lady like anyone else and will need to self refer to your hospital of choice. Be mindful that you will need to travel there a lot over the next year. And may need a few emergency dashes + travel there while in labour so just balance travel times with the other considerations when choosing. I am not going to my closest hospital either and have referred to one which is about 30 mins journey away by tube or car. I had my last baby there and I was born there as was my mum! But mainly it’s just cause I feel I know the system there and it has good reputation, whereas my local hospital which is walking distance has very poor rep.

@HopefulllHolly I wouldn't say it's a pulling feeling. Just feels like something is sat in my bladder 😂 no pain when weeing. Doesn't feel like when I've had UTI before but thought I'd test just in case. Peeing on a stick is becoming a bit of a thing lately 😂

As for picking which hospital. I think you can register wherever you like.

@DippyDuck19 argh, sorry to hear that. I didn’t even know you could get dip sticks for UTIs

@AnnieStar12 Ah thanks, that makes sense. I don’t mind driving over there really, my local hospital is still a 35 min drive on a good day so not much in it really. Plus my parents live near by so I can always stay with them if I needed to for any reason. Guess I’ll find out once we get there!

@DippyDuck19 Hmmm yours sounds different to mine, mine hurts/pulls when I have a wee. But it goes once I start going and isn’t horribly painful. I’ve read it’s probably your uterus growing and sitting on top of your bladder, so could well be the same thing as yours? I’ll ask at the clinic on Thursday anyway. Hope yours goes away! I didn’t realise you could get sticks for UTIs! Learn something new every day!