BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

congratulations @Edf ! And wonderful news @Fluffyted that first minute is so nerve wracking but worth when you can see everything is good!

@DippyDuck19 sorry you’ve had such a scary day, glad everything is looking good. I’ve had spotting on and off since my BFP, latest being yesterday and now stopping again today. I think I have the most sensitive cervix known to man 😂 everything aggravates it - sex, ultrasounds, pessaries, bowel movements! I’ve given up googling it now for my own sanity!

@LouP87 the worry is non-stop! Can't wait to get to 12 weeks! Although I don't think the anxiety will stop then either!
I've been constipated and I wonder if I strained a bit too much this morning (sorry TMI) and that's what's caused the bleeding. Hopefully it stops! Was soo scary seeing red though! Have my next scan at Guys on Thursday so not long to wait and hopefully everything still progressing 🤞🏻

@DippyDuck19 mines on Thursday at Guy’s too! All being well were telling our parents and siblings straight after.

I actually got my 12 week scan date in the post today, 6th July. I feel like everything is going really quickly, yet so slowly!

@LouP87 ah great! Our families have been aware of the IVF journey so far although we didn't tell them about the embryo transfer. We decided to tell immediate family 2 weeks ago (a week after the OTD) as we felt they'd be upset if they found out we'd used the embryos or just told them if we had a miscarriage.

I came home from the EPU to find a letter for the 12 week scan too! That could have been poor timing 🤦🏻‍♀️ mine is 11th July. And have booking appointment on 12th June! So hoping things will fly by!

@Fluffyted awww that’s so lovely! Another hurdle overcome! I am sick with nerves about mine, all my symptoms have gone. I feel totally normal. They kind of just went overnight so I’m really panicking.

@DippyDuck19 Sorry to hear about the bleed but glad the baba is ok! I would say to do them rectally - I was apprehensive but they are a million times better up there, you don’t even feel them at all. I just pop them in while sat on the loo and it’s totally fine. Promise! Definitely better than panicking about bleeding because of them!

@LouP87 Remind me how far along you are now? Ive totally forgotten 🙁

Hi all, wondering if I could join. I’m 5+4 after a FET in May. We used my partners eggs, this embryo was from a 2 egg cycle (both fertilised, both blastocysts). We were so surprised to see a positive test. I have been pregnant twice before (once successfully, our son is 1 and one that sadly ended in a TFMR).

I am really struggling with anxiety about this pregnancy, I have had a crampy ache on my right hand side so have been panicked about ectopic. The clinic have brought forward my scan to Monday to make sure it’s in the right place, but have said not to expect to see a heartbeat yet. One moment I am convinced it’s ectopic , the next I am convinced it’s not viable and I will miscarry, the next I worry about a TFMR again. I also keep reading about people who lose the baby after the heartbeat scan, so I’m not sure anything is going to reassure me! Hoping to connect with some people going through similar (and will try to calm myself down).

@HopefulllHolly I'm definitely going to try rectally tonight and possibly for next few days just to give my cervix a break! I had to put a diclofenac suppository before egg collection and really struggled... felt my arms were too short 🤣

@Leaf86 congratulations!!!
IVF pregnancies are full of anxiety, I don't think we'll ever relax as will be worrying about the next stage! Wish you all the best though x

@Leaf86 I feel you on the anxiety, I’ve worried constantly since I found out. I know if it doesn’t stay in there it was totally out my control - not sure if it makes it easier or harder. I’ve been worrying about blighted ovum and early miscarriage but I know all the threads I read where people have them is because they are looking for reassurance and consultation on these forums so you do tend to have a negative lense of pregnancy, it feels like everyone has a miscarriage if you read the boards! I found a link where it tells you the statistics for miscarriage and looking at it go down every day makes me feel a little better. Nothing I can do or know until we have our scan on Thursday though. I am praying it’s ok. Sending hugs - it really is awful all the waiting and worrying. 😖🥺

@DippyDuck19 Try doing them sat on the loo and reach under in between your legs - that’s what I’ve found works for me. 😅

Thanks @DippyDuck19 and you! I had to start putting the cyclogest in rectally as my clinic ask me to and it is surprisingly much better - no irritation, no weird discharge. I’m a bit of a convert, although the actual process is unpleasant … 🙃 Definitely agree sitting over the toilet or just reaching behind does the trick.

Thank you @HopefulllHolly I’m sorry you’re experiencing it too. It’s very hard to be rationale or try to distance yourself from it. You’re right that there is a big negativity slant online as people come for support or reassurance or connection after loss (that’s how I ended up here after my TFMR). There’s also a negativity bias in your own mind, that you’re always convinced something is going to go wrong. It’s good to be aware of that on the bad days. The statistics are otherwise reassuring and there’s nothing anyone can do to change outcome at this point.

btw my symptoms fluctuated massively in my successful pregnancy, so don’t get too attached to how you feel day by day (in case that helps).

@TorrentialHighSeas thank you ☺️ it’s deffo a good feeling. I’m relieved everything is ok.

@DippyDuck19 ohh no!!! Aww that must have been / is such a horrible feeling, not knowing where the bleed is from. I’m so glad you had a scan and baby is doing well!
if you don’t get on with the pessaries in the rectum can you ask your clinic to put you on Utrogestan pessaries instead? They are vaginal only but much nicer, calmer & less messy! I had to change to them after a bad reaction and they are much more comfortable & less irritant on my cervix (so far anyway).
we are 1 day apart! I’m officially 7 weeks today ❤️

we haven’t told anyone we are going through IVF yet as we just wanted to not worry anyone so I think we’ll wait for the 12 week scan & then surprise both our families!

@LouP87 thank you ☺️ I’m desperately looking forward to the 12 week scan now to see more of baby! I haven’t got my scan date yet but it will be around the same time as you all!
good luck with your scan for Thursday 💕

@Leaf86 congratulations on the positive test!! And fingers crossed on Monday your scan goes well & baby is growing beautifully.
I’ve read so many horror stories about miscarriages & loosing babies it really doesn’t help with anxiety!!
Sorry for your previous miscarriage - that’s so heartbreaking 💔

@HopefulllHolly thank you ❤️ aww try not to worry!! It’s probably just your hormones stabilising or something like that! You might just be super lucky to be coming out of the hormone change before the second trimester!!
I’ve not had any symptoms today either so I’m convincing myself it’s that! I hope this week flies by for you & your scan goes well.
that's good to know about the statistics for miscarriages! Quite reassuring really x

I’m convinced Google is the actual devil when it comes to IVF and pregnancy. Every time I search for reassurance there are equal amount horror stories, so never get that reassurance any way!

@HopefulllHolly I’m 7+2 today, so will be 8 weeks already when it comes to the scan on Thursday, fingers crossed all is well as we are really looking forward to telling our close family!

I’m a dumb idiot and did my last FRER test this morning and the lines are lighter. Along with my symptoms slowing down i’m in a total state of panic 😢😢

@HopefulllHolly it's probably the hook effect. Once your hcg goes over a certain level, tests will get lighter! I'm sure everything is ok so try not to worry. And in the kindest possible way, step away from the tests 😊

@DippyDuck19 I feel stupid for testing again but I thought what the heck, it’s my
last one anyway. Now I wish I hadn’t as my nerves are through the roof. It’s going to be a long wait till Thursday. 😭

@HopefulllHolly definitely step away from the tests! Tests can be such an unreliable way of tracking things, I panicked before my first scan because I wasn’t getting 3+ on clear blue digital, then everything was fine and measuring on track so all that worry was for nothing.

Can you refer yourself to EPU at all? They might be able to get you in for a reassurance scan before Thursday?

@HopefulllHolly argh, sorry you're feeling really anxious. I would try not to analyse tests too much at this stage. Although, I know that’s easier said than done.

If you think it will make you feel calmer, why don’t you get yourself an early scan? You’re past 6 weeks now aren’t you? Not sure where abouts you’re based, but where I am in London there’s a few places you can get same day early pregnancy tests.

Today is my official test day so I am now confirmed as 4+1 pregnant!! I’ve just purposefully done all the remaining pregnancy tests I had in the house so I won’t be testing anymore. All it’s gonna do is stress me out if I keep testing and don’t see exactly what I expect. I’ve just taken a picture of all my positive results and I’m now going to throw them all away to stop myself staring at them, lol!

Thanks ladies. I feel like a total idiot for stressing myself out so much. @LouP87 that’s reassuring, thank you.

@AnnieStar12 Thank you. I’m just going to wait until Thursday, going for an earlier scan won’t change the outcome anyway. Just feel really down. So exciting you are at OTD and over 4 weeks, you sound much more sensible than me ☺️ I shall try and take a leaf out of your books and stop worrying.

I'm having a rubbish day today. Still bleeding brown/red blood. No worse than yesterday but have been quite crampy this afternoon. My partner is working away so am just stupidly googling. I just want him to come home! Thursday can't come quick enough! Hopefully everything still ok but just thinking the worst.

@DippyDuck19 thats stressful. A little bit of blood is sometimes fine. I hope that’s the case here. Is your husband back today???

@HopefulllHolly it’s going to be a long wait til Thursday but as others have said tests get unreliable after a bit!

@TorrentialHighSeas he's not back until Wednesday evening!

@DippyDuck19 Oh bless you. Stay away from Google - it’s driven me mad! Are there any good films or box sets you could watch? I usually go to bed super early to tick off the days.

@TorrentialHighSeas Thanks - I know. Gotten in my head too much and I had a strong word with myself and feel a bit better now.

@HopefulllHolly I do need to step away from Google! I've exhausted Netflix, prime, Apple TV 🤦🏻‍♀️ I've been going to bed early out of boredom but I'm wide awake at 4am 🤦🏻‍♀️ this morning I was so uncomfortable in bed I just got up at 5am!

@DippyDuck19 Catch up with friends or family? Or in worst case when I need something to do i clean the house or declutter my wardrobe. 😂😂 Desperate times!