IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

@2mumlife I can't believe you're around 34w and less than a month away from maternity leave! Super exciting! How has the nesting and name selection been going? I totally feel your pain with the elbowing of the bump (and sitting on it too, in my case), but glad to hear you still manage to pick her up 😍

@Overlyanxious I'm sorry to hear about the nausea and exhaustion... it's so tough, and so much tougher not being able to take it easy, like @2mumlife I found it much harder with a toddler... but I'm glad it's manageable so far and hopefully it eases off soon. Are you doing OK with the wait to the 12w scan?

Thank you both so, so, so much for your support and well wishes since I was last on here - we FINALLY got the amnio results back on Thursday and baby is all clear 😍I can't even express how relieved we are! It looks like a tonne of bricks have been lifted off my stomach and I feel like a new person now and at 22w can finally embrace being pregnant rather than trying to push it all to the back of my mind. And, in the last week or so I've started to feel her move and now that feels so reassuring knowing that she's doing OK ❤

@Dove88 I hope you're feeling better and this round has been progressing smoothly for you!

@strtng I hope you've been enjoying your holiday and haven't been experiencing too much guilt!

@beachbum85 so glad you’ve got the all clear and are feeling so positive now!

Unfortunately we only managed to get a D grade embryo (our clinic doesn’t tell us the more detailed grading, just the letter) which we had transferred last Saturday. So I’m still in the tww but I’m fairly certain it has failed. This is our last try so looks like we’ll be a family of three. It’s so hard not to feel guilty or like I’ve done something wrong but from what they said after ER the eggs they collected looked good. So who knows why we only got a D.

@beachbum85 that's amazing news. I'm so pleased. I hope you can now enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. That's lovely you can feel her move.

@Dove88 sending you lots of luck. I really hope this one sticks and works out. Please don't feel guilty or like you've done something wrong. I really think getting and staying pregnant is a slightly mysterious thing and it's largely out our control.

I currently have a horrible cold, which is making me feel awful. I'm just about surviving the wait

@beachbum85 So glad to hear the amnio came back all clear! You must be so relieved. It’s lovely as well you’re getting more regular movements and can settle into pregnancy more and enjoy this 2nd trimester bit before the third trimester slog!

Definitely feeling the third trimester slog here. Just feeler much larger and way more uncomfortable at this stage than I did with DD. With DD I never really had that “I’m really over being pregnant” vibe until right at the very end. 6 weeks feels like forever still to go. Doesn’t help I’ve got a cold, which has set off terrible heartburn, and made me feel like I ant breathe with bump, so I’ve barely slept last night. Which of course means that DD has taken last night to really properly sleep through for the first time 😂🤦‍♀️ Normally at the very least she’d need help settling in the early hours of the morning but nope, she’s still snoozing happily in her own room as I suffer and miss out on the potential for the first full nights sleep in 2 years 🙄

Nesting has begun in my mind, but somehow hasn’t manifested in actually getting anything done 😂😂😂 DP did get all the clothes down from attic we’d put away, and started sorting through them yesterday. I had a growth scan last week where they estimated weight at 2.5kg already 😬 I’m hoping the measurements were out a bit as would suggest quite an accelerated growth otherwise, and quite a bit bigger than DD was at this stage. So I’ve not even bothered putting anything in “first size” / “newborn” in the drawers as it’s not going to fit 😂

We have a post it note we put agreed potential names on 😂 we have a few boys names we both feel happy with (and I definitely have a preference for a boys name from the list) but not feeling totally sold on our girl names yet. Though came up with a name over the weekend that I think might stick, but it takes me awhile of sort of thinking about it and almost practicing it in my mind to decide if I like it.

My Scottish baby box should be arriving today which will be fun 🤩

@Overlyanxious Sorry you have a cold too ☹️ how long until your scan?

@Dove88 Please don’t write it off just because grading is low - plenty successful stories with lower graded embryos (they’re the fighters!). Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

@2mumlife I hope you are feeling better from your cold. I hope these last weeks go nice and quickly for you. That's always the way with sleep - they sleep amazing and it's the night you can't sleep. That's exciting about your Scottish baby box.

Turns out I have sinusitis which I do get a fair amount and so just waiting to collect my antibiotics. My scan is on Wednesday so not too far away but still feels ages away.

Hi @Overlyanxious I hope all is well with you. I saw your message that the scan went well and just came to reply and say how happy I am for you, but I can't see it anymore... apart from the scan, I hope you're feeling better after the cold and sinusitis and that the antibiotics didn't knock you out too badly xxx

@2mumlife I hope you're holding out OK, and that you recovered from the cold and are sleeping better. That's quite a big baby there, no wonder you're feeling uncomfortable this time! But I wouldn't rely on those measurements tooooo much - I remember them telling me that my son had grown quite a lot around the 34-36w mark and they would have induced me if he kept it up, but then he slowed right back down and was born at 3.14kg 🤷🏻‍♀️

And so typical that your daughter slept through when you couldn't 🤦🏻‍♀️ but I hope she's had some more full nights of sleep since then 🤞🏼
Sounds like some productive nesting there - did you get anything good in the baby box? And great progress with naming - very exciting!
I'll be thinking of you this last month!

@Dove88 I hope you had a big surprise at the end of your tww... sending you hugs, I know it would have been a super emotional time either way xxx

Battling a cough here and not getting much sleep myself (and I peed myself today whilst coughing so that shows the pelvic floor has gone already 🤦🏻‍♀️) but I've started some pregnancy yoga and fitness classes so physically feeling pretty good otherwise.

Hi, how is everyone getting on? Feels like its been really quiet!

@Overlyanxious Hoping the sinusitis has cleared up. How did you get on with your last scan last week?

@beachbum85 Sorry you're not feeling great either. How far along are you now? Good on you for doing some pregnancy yoga and fitness - I've been so much lazier through this pregnancy, and not at all been working on my pelvic floor which worries me a bit!

I'm 36 weeks now, so we're entering the final stretch. Finish work this week, and have another growth scan next week. I normally do think to treat growth scans with caution....but it was actually really quite accurate for my DD 😬Sleep is still patchy. I finally took the final step and weaned DD - dry nursing was just becoming too intolerable, and we were down to just bedtime. She's still getting used to it, and physically wanting to touch my breasts more / stick hands down my top, but its been ok, and I'm just hoping she will continue to be ok with not feeing at all once baby arrives. But she's also getting 2 yr molars through which doesn't help. Foetus-face has definitely shifted position as last few days I'm feeling all the movement right up in my ribs, so think we're now firmly in a head-down position. The baby box was good - had some different things from DDs which is nice. It comes with a few bits of clothing in newborn, 0-3 and 3-6, and some handy things like bath thermometer (our DDs broke so good to have a new one), few little books and things. There is some stuff we probably wont use so will just re-gift, like a stretchy sling (but we still have DDs). I just can't get over how small all the clothes are, makes DD feel like a giant. Think its just pregnancy hormones but been getting quite emotional about DD turning 2 this week 😭 Also had my risk assessment for home birth the other week, and my home birth kit from the midwives is arriving later today, and birth pool tomorrow, so its all starting to feel very real!

@beachbum85 unfortunately not. It was negative. It’s been hard and I’m definitely blaming myself but I am going to clinic provided counselling to help process. Sending love to all of you on your journeys though x

@Dove88 So sorry to hear your update. Please don't blame yourself, its absolutely not anything you did/didn't do. Hope the counselling is useful in processing things.

I'm so sorry @Dove88! I know you'll be feeling so many things but as @2mumlife said, it's nothing you could have done that would change things, so please try not to be too hard on yourself. Good shout re the counselling and I hope it helps you move on from here xxx

@2mumlife it has felt really quiet! I've often wanted to come on here and update/hear updates but I've been quite overwhelmed with life admin... we plan to go back to my home country for the birth and a few months after (as we had done last time) so that would mean flying out mid-Nov and there are so many things to sort out with work, nursery, medical appts, etc... BUT I'm 25w now and generally feeling very well (physically so much better than my previous pregnancy) and eternally grateful to be here.
I can't believe you're on maternity leave now and so close! Huge well done for managing to wean with everything else going on and I hope your daughter remains fine with it all. A big happy birthday to her!! I get quite emotional thinking that my first is not going to be my 'baby' anymore too...So, so exciting that you have your home borth kit and pool in place now (and that baby is head down!). I'll be really looking forward to hearing how all of that goes. I've been listening to lots of podcasts about VBACs (I think I will attempt one if all looks low risk by then) and there are so many beautiful, inspiring stories of home births ❤ Let us know what the next growth scan says too 😊

Thinking of you @Overlyanxious and I hope everyone else is well.

@beachbum85 It’s great you’re finding this pregnancy easier. That must add an extra layer of stress and organisation planning to be in a different country for birth. Plus as you say just a lot more admin, as I imagine most nurseries would say you have to pay to keep your place when you’re gone. Do you have lots of family support over there though? Totally invaluable.

I keep having pangs of guilt about DD not being the baby for much longer. But also feel some pregnancy hormones have kicked in (only ever got emotional at the end last time as well).

I had a bit of a wobble about home birth when I saw all the kit, as it includes stuff for resuscitation etc. which is obviously sensible and good to have, just sort of made it real that birth is never without risk. But it’s never without risk no matter where you are. And just had to remember what midwife said that it’s all here to make everything as safe as possible but they’d not be expecting to use it.

Looking forward to doing some nice things like visiting a friend and getting hair cut next week.

I checked out of forums for the last little bit but just read updates there. @Dove88 sorey to hear you got a negative.

we have the green light now to go ahead with transfer. Had our scan and tests etc so I’ve just to call on cd1 which should be in around 2 weeks time to get started. Natural cycle now uses trigger and progesterone at my clinic so different to before which I’m apprehensive about but here goes.

Hi, sorry I've been a bit quiet. I've been on holiday and had issues getting on Mumsnet. The 12 week scan was fine and had my bloods back as well and they are fine. I've been feeling fairly anxious and have a 16 week scan booked for Monday to bridge the gap. Hoping everything is ok. My sinuses still aren't great, but not as bad as before.

I can't believe you're so close @2mumlife. I think it's normal to feeling guilty about your first baby.

@beachbum85 sorry you were feeling ill before. I know what you mean about life admin getting in the way. I constantly feel busy sorting out stuff for my lo. It feels like your pregnancy is going fast now.

@Dove88 I'm so sorry and please don't blame yourself.

@LT103 that's exciting you are getting started soon.

@Overlyanxious So please to hear everything looked good at your 12 week scan. Other than the sinus issue are you starting to feel back to normal / loose the first trimester bleh?

Seems ridiculously close. Had another growth scan on Thursday and back to looking like a very similar size to DD. Midwives officially went “on call” on Sunday for home birth, so all feels very real now!

@Overlyanxious so happy to hear your update and that everything is looking good from your scan 😍 Sorry to hear you're feeling anxious, and I definitely think getting an extra scan in there will help with that (with so many extra medical appts this time round, I can't believe how I went for so long between scans last time!), and I hope you enjoyed your holiday in the meantime!

Everything does feel like it's going very fast now... My potentially last UK scan is coming up in a couple of weeks (although I'll request another before we head home in November). Baby is kicking away like crazy, and I've started having some pelvic pain off-and-on... definitely a reminder that the third trimester is coming up soon...

@2mumlife we were extremely lucky and my son's nursery have agreed to us paying a minimal fee whilst we're away to keep his place. Tbh we were willing to fork out the extra money anyway because the help we have back home is invaluable, as you say, but this is a relief financially.

I really can't believe you're so, so close! It must feel even more real seeing all the equipment in your own home as well... exciting, scary, all the emotions, I imagine? How are you feeling? Ready for this baby to get here?
I totally feel that about the older one too, and feel bad about disrupting the great balance we've got but, hopefully, things will be even better afterwards 😊

@LT103 great to hear you'll be getting started soon! My understanding is that the trigger gives you some more control over timings, so that sounds like a great thing to me! Progesterone... not so much 😅 but I also had to have it on my natural FET.

@beachbum85 Wow things are really moving along for you too! Lovely you're having lots of baby movements, and not too long until you're moving! Its great that you've been able to negotiate with the nursery. Is your DS excited to be spending an extended period of time with family? It'll be really nice for him to have the extra attention from family as well.

To be honest all the bigger baby bits are still in the attic / packed away 😂. We've not bothered bringing down baby bouncers or putting up the next2me yet - they'd just end up with a cat or toddler in them 😂You also realise just how much space it all takes up and with having a toddler as well, I'm spending more time trying to tidy up and declutter at the moment (and honestly, part of me is looking at all the baby stuff and really looking forward to selling it on after this time - we're still feeling pretty certain this is going to be the last child). I think I'll get the next2me up next week. We've got all the baby clothes in drawers though, and I sorted through the reusable nappies today and got them all sorted out ready for a newborn again. So the stuff we need immediately is all there. I still don't feel particularly prepared though! I need to put together an emergency hospital bag in case we need to transfer and things like that still.

Might be a bit mad, but we went away at the weekend 😂 we had a weekend caravan holiday booked before we knew we were expecting, and decided just to go since everything was looking good at scan. I've mentally sort of told myself I've got this week and next week to get organised and ready for baby, but spending 2 days this week seeing friends. But after that will be really starting to get ready.

Hey! How is everyone getting on?

Our baby boy was born on Saturday evening at home! Was a really good im experience overall though was a short period of time where DP was being coached over phone by 999 controller how to deliver baby as midwives hadn’t arrived by the time I was crowning. Ambulance crew (and then shortly after midwives) arrived just in time to set me up some gas&air and deliver baby, but meant we had quite the audience (including DD) watching the birth! Still it was amazing to be able to be in my own bed that night, and DD cooed amazingly well and has been really intrigued to stroke and pat her baby brother. Feeling so grateful for the journey we’ve been on.

How is everyone else getting on?

@2mumlife I've been thinking about you. Congratulations! I'm so glad you had an amazing birth and it all went well.

I'm good thanks - I had a scan at 16 weeks which was fine now got 2 weeks to go to 20 week scan. I'm really suffering with my sinuses though

Huge congratulations @2mumlife !! And welcome to your baby boy 😍 I'm so, so glad for you that your homebirth worked out, and that it sounds like it was relatively quick! Full admiration for getting through with just the gas and air at the end 💪🏼 I can only imagine how lovely it must have been to get to sleep in your own bed that very same night, and have your daughter with you too... Amazing! ❤ I know it's only been a day or so, but how are you feeling?

@Overlyanxious glad all is well with you apart from the sinuses, and hope time flies till the 20w scan!

All is fine here too - I've been meaning to check in for ages but time seems to be flying and I'm sometimes feeling a little overwhelmed with everything. Our 28w scan, including fetal cardiac scan, was perfect (except for the missing duct) so we've been given the all clear to transfer back to my home country for the birth, and if all goes to plan we can go for a VBAC and no need to schedule a repeat C-section! Also no sign of gestational diabetes or preeclampsia on my end, so that was a relief...
Other than that, just trying to get organised. I'm travelling to South America at the end of the month for a workshop that my team is hosting, and I'm just realising that I have no appropriate workwear. Then it's just a week before we fly home so trying to think of packing all the baby stuff we need in the first instance, plus my postpartum wardrobe into Spring, some clothes for when my son inevitably grows out of the stuff he's wearing now, etc. I'm surrounded by lists on top of lists and starting to think that we didn't time this very well at all. BUT, of course, still so, so grateful that all is well and these logistical problems are what we have to deal with now, rather than anything else 😊

@2mumlife massive congratulations. Glad it all went well and you got to stay at home.

We had first scan for FET this morning. Lining 10.7 and already have a follicle at 14mm so think prob triggering wed or Thursday and transfer start of next week!!

@beachbum85 @LT103 @2mumlife how are you all getting on?

I don't have much to report - just keep getting colds and my sinus issues continue.

@Overlyanxious not great news here. We did get a positive test but not as strong as I’d have liked and hcg at 13dpt was only 160. It’s been slowly rising since then and now at 540 at around 20dpt. So it’s not a viable pregnancy but don’t know any more than that just now. I’m having one last blood sample tomorrow then they’ll refer me to EPU as I’ll be 6 weeks by that point.

they also noticed a cervical polyp so think I’m going to get that removed then look at another cycle early in new year fingers crossed

@LT103 I'm so sorry to hear that and sorry you are having to wait around. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

Getting rid of the polyp sounds like a good idea.