IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

@decor340 I can't actually remember what our sperm readings were now as it was a good 5 years ago, but my hubs also had a varicocele and had it embolised poor man 😬 but I have had to go through a lot so I don’t feel too bad for him 🫣 this was discovered after our first round of IVF where we got 0 blasts. The one that we did after this procedure we got 8 blasts so I think a combination of that plus lifestyle changes really helped.

Hi @RunningOnHope how lovely you have a little girl ❤️she’s the same age as my boy. I hope things are going well for you this cycle 🤞🏼

Hi @eamb23 Twins…how amazing!! I hear you on the anxiety, I thought I would be so much more relaxed going into ivf again as we already have a son but nope 😬

How did he find the embolism ? What did it involve? If I mention it to my partner he goes all funny and says can we talk about it some other time 😂. My consultant said it doesn't always make much of a difference. But I think it just depends , they couldn't find any other reason for the low sperm count.

Amazing and congratulations on your twins!
What's the care like in the US? What made you choose there?

Hi, we're looking into whether trying more IVF for a sibling might be an option but have a couple of potential barriers in the way so it might not happen...

Still breastfeeding my 14 month old DC who is emphatic that they aren't ready to stop. They feed in the morning, at bedtime and a couple of times overnight. Given the positives of feeding for them, I'd actually be quite happy to continue but the IVF clinic near me have said they refuse to provide treatment of any sort while breastfeeding is ongoing. I don't have cycles now, but there's a family history of early menopause so whether it's to do with the amount of breastfeeding or the start of menopause, I don't know.

I've been trying to at least arrange initial investigations but no matter what time I phone, just get the clinic's answerphone and nobody ever phones us back.

It took 8 years from starting TTC to a successful IVF cycle and bringing home our living DC (our first DC didn't survive - second trimester loss). So I don't think trying naturally is going to have good odds for success.

@decor340 my DH also had an embolism. This count increased by around 7 mil and his DNA frag went down to 25% I think from >50% and like @Bobbin83 we got good quality highly rated embryos. No offence to your DH but I wouldn’t have a lot of tolerance for a man who would be happy for me to go through more IVF looking for success rather than doing a simple op that would improve chances of it working. We were told poor quality sperm causes/increases chance of miscarriages.

re progesterone my clinic monitored it for me every 2 days during 2WW as historically it was far too low and I took progesterone in oil injections. I have a day 6 transfer as I did an ERA which showed Day 5 wasn’t optimal so I think day of transfer does matter

@eamb23 hi and happy transfer anniversary! 😍 we don't have a plan for transfer yet but just thinking about it makes me nervous so I totally get the anxiety. I find these forums really help 🙂
Are you going to try wean off or is your clinic OK with transferring whilst breastfeeding?

@Bobbin83 wow that's amazing going from 0 blasts to 8!

@Scirocco hello! sorry about your previous loss but congrtulations on your baby (almost toddler? 🙂)
I'm still breastfeeding my 11-month old with no cycles, but I recently read that after the 12-month mark (once prolactin levels go down), it's sometimes enough to up the calorie intake for the body to get back. No idea if it works at all though.
That must be really frustrating with the clinic! I've asked a whole bunch of questions via email, with very limited info back, so I feel your pain.

@itsmschanandlerbong hope your bloods and swabs were OK

@RunningOnHope hope all is going well with this retrieval x

Thanks! My DH is from the US, and we felt that, given our options, embryo adoption was right for us. The rules are very different there - our clinic specialises in embryo adoption and facilitates ongoing contact with donor families, so we're in contact with their bio parents and older sibling, which was important for us. Our care has been great, but getting the paperwork and meds sorted in the UK can be a nightmare (not looking forward to that part).

Welcome @eamb23 the thought of going through it all is so daunting, but hopefully another happy ending.

Hi @Scirocco I recognise you from the Scotland thread 👋 is it GRI you've been trying? They're an absolute nightmare to get through to but I've found once I've got them they've been good.

@beachbum85 thanks, all fine. Consents next week then we're good to book in when we want!

I think he would consider the surgery if we had a serious chat about it. But would we end up needed ICSI anyway I don't know?
Him having the surgery would improve the chances of natural conception maybe. Not even sure what the operation involves fully and the risks.
The consultant said sometimes having the operation doesn't even make a difference to sperm count. But I find that hard to believe if that's the only cause of why his count is low. He lives a healthy life style and exercises and is very fit. It was a shock when we got the results about him to be honest, we thought it was just my PCOS stopping us from conceiving.

@decor340 we were the same. DH very fit and healthy, never smoked, barely drinks and I have a history of some gynae issues so we presumed it was me. For us we still needed ICSI but we made great quality embryos once we improved the DNA frag and I’ve no doubt we wouldn’t have our DD without doing the procedure and we have x3 AA embryos left. What is his DNA frag?

good to see a good group of us here now and hello to everyone! I am aiming for a transfer after summer and very nervous to get stuck back in. It’ll be great to have others in the same situation as it is different to trying for a first.

Not a clue what his DNA frag is, they didn't mention that.
I just know his count per mil was 1 million and 5 million total. And the motility and morphology were also low.
Our icsi cycle went like this -
17 eggs collected
15 suitable for icsi
8 fertilised
Massive drop off rate and ended up to 2 day 5 embryos. One was 3AB (my son who is 15 months), the other embryo I'm unsure of the grade but it wasn't good enough to freeze.
So the sperm quality is obviously very poor.
Unsure whether supplements would help but don't want to waste money on them if they won't.

Forgot to mention my partner is older than me , he's 36 and I'm 27. Not sure if that made any difference what so ever though because I know sperm count doesn't decline as fast as women's eggs.
I was 25 when I had the ivf and partner 35.

@decor340 i think I would get a DNA frag test and let this determine whether he does the op or not. I read back and saw you also want to try naturally so that would also sway me toward the op. The drop off and poor outcome (statistically speaking I mean as it’s amazing you got your DS so quickly) would indicate he does have very poor quality sperm and risk of miscarriage would also worry me.

We were extremely lucky to get our lovely son and I can't believe it worked first time. I didn't think it would and didn't believe it for a while and was very anxious during pregnancy.
Yes we would like to try naturally but mainly because we can't afford IVF right now and would have to save.
How do I go about getting the DNA frag tested?
I'm starting to track my cycles since I've had a period and I deffo ovulated on the day I thought I did (quite late in the cycle though) and have recently come on period.
What's your plan?

It is possible to get your cycle back whilst breast feeding. I didn't do this intentionally but my son stopped feeding in the night around 13 months and a couple of weeks later I got my period: I'm on the second one now.
But that's if you are considering trying naturally but if that's not an option for now then yes I've heard you have to wean completely from BFing to do IVF. I can understand why. How old is your child? You could try and slow and gentle approach.
I plan on feeding to around aged 2 but he only feeds morning nap time and bed time anyway

@decor340 ah I see you are 27 and were 25 when you had the first round. That makes more sense as to success as I’ve read younger eggs can ‘carry’ poor sperm - for this reason we had considered donor eggs from a young woman using DH sperm before we found out about the DNA frag issue. You would likely need to pay for the DNA fragmentation test. It’s done alongside a semen analysis. I am based in Ireland so I don’t have a recommendation for where sorry. But for my DH anyway it was an extremely minor procedure and with your young age I’d wonder if it improved the frag if you might get lucky naturally (just speculating).

I have x3 embryos suitable for transfer so my plan is to do tests and checks that all is ok post birth ( I had a c-section) and then I need to lose weight I put on from pregnancy and ivf (starting a weight loss programme next week) then we will aim for transfer around October/November all going well.

Sorry @decor340 that should say that the embolization was v minor for him! The dna frag test is just an extra test done alongside a standard semen analysis so just requires a sample.

@Dochas12111 I didn't realise any of this but it makes sense. You know so much about it all. I've done a little research but not too much as when I got pregnant and then into motherhood that's what I was focusing on and having another child wasn't even in my mind. It's only been recently I've been thinking about it.
How old is your child?
Sounds like a good plan and you have some good quality embryos so at least won't have to go through the egg collection process again.
That's the bit I struggled with as I ended up with really bad ovarian hyper stimulation and was in and out of hospital for weeks. They did a fresh transfer despite my worries about ohss but then it got so much worse because the embryo implanted. All worth it now though.

Meant to add my AMH was 74 so my risk of ohss was very high anyway.

Hi @itsmschanandlerbong 🙋🏻‍♀️ yes it's GRI - finally got through so we've got some initial tests booked at least. Hoping that'll give us an idea of whether a sibling round is feasible and whether it's worth stopping breastfeeding earlier than DC wants.

@decor340 DC is 14 months now. The sheer heartbreak they express if we try to skip another feed at the moment is so hard. Last night we tried again to offer an alternative (milk), they sobbed inconsolably for half an hour. I'd be prepared to push through it if we have a good chance of a successful sibling round but it feels like it would be harsh to put them through it if the odds are that treatment wouldn't work, which is why I'd like to get some indication from investigations if possible before we make that decision.

@Scirocco Yes that completely make sense. I know what you mean, and breast feeding is so easy to get them back to sleep ! We co sleep and breast feed and it's saved me many fully sleepless nights. He dropped his night feeds naturally , it wasn't my doing but I'm not complaining 😂. Have your periods returned ?

@decor340 we also had a huge drop off both cycles and ended up with only one viable to transfer. We never got DH tested for fragmentation but done some research and found that Impryl is often recommended for it and for improving sperm quality overall, so we started him on this. Not sure if it's made a difference yet until we start our cycle.

@Dochas12111 Sounds like you have a good plan there! We've started back all of the supplements about 2 months ago and trying to sort out diet / weight and get it back down.

@Scirocco that's great! They actually never asked if I was breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️ I had stopped by then anyway. But yeah hopefully these tests will give you a better idea about going forward. That sounds so difficult about trying to stop. My boy was 8 months when I stopped and luckily adjusted very quickly but I think he was young enough then.

@itsmschanandlerbong we had a huge drop-off first cycle too... didn't test for DNA fragmentation either but amongst other things, my partner took Impryl for 3 months (I had already been taking it) and our results were a lot better. You never know if it's just chance but it's worth a shot!
Glad to hear you can get going whenever you're ready 🙂do you have a date in mind?

@decor340 apparently the doctor to speak to about DNA fragmentation is Jonathan Ramsay, in London at least, not sure where you're based. We had an appointment booked with him but then our second cycle worked before the appointment came around.

@Scirocco so glad to hear you've managed to get the tests booked.
I totally understand how hard it is with the breastfeeding. My baby is like that sometimes too... crying desperately for boobie, even up to an hour in my partner's arms one time (and then we gave in). It's heartbreaking... I was crying in the other room hearing him like that😥But we've recently managed up to 11h overnight without breastfeeding, with a dream feed and my partner soothing him to sleep if he started crying. Not sure if it'll last or improve, but I feel there's hope and maybe my cycles will come back sometime in the foreseeable future...

Hope everyone is doing well x

Have any of you needed a GP referral to self-fund with the NHS? If so, what's that process like? Do they want you to have been TTC naturally for 6months again?

@beachbum85 we had our consents appointment yesterday on cycle day 4 so have just missed out this cycle. We won't get in next cycle either as the lab closes for 2 weeks at the start of July which coincides with when egg collection would be. So looks like we would be booking in mid-June and starting stims mid- July.
I didn't need to go via GP to self fund at the same NHS clinic, just contacted the self funding side directly.